At Her Worst
by AnarchyisLove
Summary: Very AU. And of course a HEA at the end. Donnas best friend returns to Charming. How will she and the others react? Especially Jax. And what caused her to leave 5 years ago? Different take on Tara/Jax romance. I do not own SOA, but it'd be awesome if I did :)
1. The Return

Very different story to Jax and Tara. Will focus on friendship with Opie and Donna. Very little history between Jax and Tara. Enjoy!

Tara sat in her car, fidgeting nervously. She hadn't been in Charming for nearly five years. And the many years she was here before that weren't exactly enjoyable for her. When she fled those years ago, it wasn't because she wanted to, it was because she needed to. Her sanity, even her livelihood depended on it. She hadn't had the easiest life. She was a bigger girl all through her schooling years, and she was constantly made fun of and ridiculed by her peers.

Except for Donna.

When Donna's name crossed her mind, she was immediately hit with guilt and remorse. After all the things, good and bad, her and Donna had gone through, Tara had not once talked to Donna in the five years she had been gone. This was her chance to change that. She had seen Donna's truck and Opie's motorcycle outside the bar in Charming. She had been sitting there in her car for nearly 20 minutes trying to steel herself up for this.

She had changed. After years of ridicule and torment, she ran, and for once she worked on herself. It took time, but she managed to get to be someone that she liked, and accepted. She wasn't skinny, but she was healthy and happy. That's what mattered most to her. She looked down at herself. She knew a lot of people would see her and for the first time, she didn't care what people thought of her appearance, just how they'd receive her in general.

"Oh, screw it" she mumbled to herself as she got out of her car. She took a deep breath and walked to the front door.

The front was nearly empty with just a few women lingering at the bar. Probably hoping a member will pick them up. Whores.

The bartender looked at Tara's appearance and smiled.

"Think you've walked into the wrong bar, dear. This is the slums of Charming."

Tara thought she had dressed down a little. She had on a red top that was long and a pair of black leggings with red and black leather strapped heels. In Chicago, she'd have fit in anywhere.

Tara laughed it off, still fidgeting.

"Actually, I'm looking for Donna Winston." She wasn't sure if Opie and Donna had married, but it was a good guess.

"What do you want with Donna?"

"I just want to see her. I'm on old friend." Tara moved to go to the back of the bar, but the bartender cut her off.

"I'll go see if she's here sweetheart." The bartender was used to women dropping old ladies names to gain access to the club. He wasn't falling for that again. He walked back to the party room where most of the club and their old ladies were celebrating Jax's birthday. He heard Donna before he saw her.

"I haven't had this much fun since Jax's 18th birthday party." Donna said to Opie. Jax was with them and at this he laughed extremely loud.

"Oh yeah! That night was amazing. You got up and sang impromptu karaoke and you and Tara danced on my mom's dining room table."

"Yeah, there's still scratch marks from the heels you just HAD to keep on." Opie added.

By the time the bartender got to the trio, the men were laughing, but Donna had a sad smile on her face.

"Hey old man, what's up?" Jax asked the weathered looking bartender.

"There's a young woman up front asking for Donna. She was very adamant about seeing her."

Opie spoke first. "You recognize her?" With a negative confirmation he continued, "so, she's not a crow eater?"

"Nah, not likely. She is high class looking. Said she was on old friend." Jax, Donna, and Opie all looked at eachother.

Jax turned to Opie. "Hey Op, let's go see who has decided to grace your beautiful wife with their presence."

Tara sat at the bar to wait. She had been sitting for maybe a full minute when she heard heavy foot fall behind her. She peeked through her hair to see Jax and Opie walking towards her. She straightened out immediately. She could have smiled at the dedication, had she not been so damn nervous. Opie and his six and a half foot frame, was skinnier then she remembered. His beard and hair both getting long. Donna must love that, Tara thought. Next to him stood the Prince of Charming. All blond hair, blue eyes, and ruggedly handsome.

"You're here for Donna?"

Tara nodded her head. All her steely reserve gone upon hearing Op's gravely, yet unbelievably soft voice. She sat still for another 10 seconds before she got off her bar stool and turned to the boys.

Recognition from Opie was immediate. He threw his giant frame at her and hugged her till she couldn't breathe. Jax scoffed from behind them.

"Op, you can't just hug a woman because she claims to know your wife. And the fact that she has a very striking resemblance to our beautiful…HOLY SHIT! It can't be." Opie was still hugging Tara when Jax had his revelation.

Tara could feel herself tearing up. She had hoped they'd be excited to see her, but this was amazing. Opie finally put her down and she turned to Jax. He was staring at her dumbfounded.

"Well look at you, Tara Knowles. Back in Charming. Good to see you, darling." He dipped his head to Tara.

"Shut the fuck up and give her a hug, brother." Opie said.

Tara smiled at Opie. "It's alright, Op. It's an adjustment, I know. Plus, Jax was only friends with me by default. I was best friends with Donna, him with you, it's almost necessary for there to be friendly contact with one another." Tara babbled. She didn't want to admit to herself how excited she was at the prospect of seeing Jax. She also didn't see the look of disappointment that passed quickly on Jax's face.

"So, let's go surprise Donna huh?" Opie's eyes were gleaming with excitement.

"Tara, walk behind Jax, and try to hide. I'm going to set this up." Tara smiled in adoration for her pseudo brother. He was like a very, very large child.

Opie took off running to the party room. Tara turned and followed closely behind Jax. Her heart skipped a beat when he grabbed her hand and squeezed gently. He didn't linger, but it was enough to send her body into flames.

"It _is_ good to see you. What happened to you to make you leave?" Tara sighed and just shook her head against his back.

"Well, another time then, yeah?"

They got to the party room in time to hear Opie clear his throat before beginning what was sure to be an unusual introduction.

"I know we're celebrating Jax's birthday, but we have a surprise for Donna." Murmurs could be heard, and then Jax and Tara stepped into view.

"No! You got your wife a stripper? Really? She's into that sort of thing?!" Tig commented. Tara flipped him off, even though he was virtually a complete stranger. At the same time, Donna told him to fuck off.

"Huh. Must be sisters," Tig replied, laughing.

Opie cleared his throat and spoke again.

"Ladies, brothers, beautiful wife of mine, I present you…"Opie trailed off as he moved his hand from her face. Tara was still standing securely behind Jax. Donna scoffed.

"Jax is my 'stripper'? Awesome!" Donna said sarcastically. Tara still had her head dug into Jax's back. She nodded and side stepped around him as he spoke.

"Tara fuckin' Knowles, ladies and gentlemen."

Though many of the club members hadn't met Tara, they knew plenty about her from the stories Donna, Jax, and Opie tell. There was a beat of silence and then loud cheering. Except for one distinct person.

Donna stood in place, shocked.

She looked at Tara in disbelief. It had been five years. Five years of pain and worry for her best friend. Donna hadn't even noticed the difference in her appearance right away, though that would soon change. She only saw her long lost friend standing in front of her.

Tara had felt herself begin to cry. She didn't feel rejected per se, just worried that Donna wouldn't be as receptive to her as Opie had been.

Tara began to walk up to Donna, who was still immobile.

"Donna?" Opie asked, concern leaking through his tone.

Donna took two long strides and was toe to toe with Tara.

"Donna, I'm sorry. I had to leave. I'm so sorry." Tara stopped when her voice cracked under all the emotion she was feeling.

Donna just shook her head trying to understand, well, everything. Donna did the only thing that she could think to do, and she slapped Tara hard across the face.

Tara stared at her sadly, but not surprised. Donna was a very emotional person. When she had an emotion too strong within her, she acted out in some way. Opie knew this first hand. If Tara was the epitome of calm, Jax was the epitome of surprise. He stood slightly in front of Tara. Donna had slapped him before, he could take it.

"Donna!" Opie admonished his wife.

"No guys, it's okay. Let her get it out now." Tara said. And that must have been Donna's cue, because she did let it all out then.

"Five years. Five damn years, Tara. You don't call, email, send a smoke signal, nothing. You have NO idea what we've been through since you left. What I've been through. I was starting to think you were fucking dead! Did you know we have a daughter? Or that nine months ago I was pregnant again, but miscarried? Or how about when Opie went to prison for three years? I needed you! And where the hell were you? Huh? Out getting skinny and all dolled up. Tara, I needed you." Donna's voice lowered and she advanced on Tara again. Instead of hitting her, which everyone semi-expected, Donna threw herself at Tara and hugged her for dear life. Her resolve vanished and she just needed her best friend.

After all the excitement died down, and Tara was introduced to the group, the party was in full swing again. Donna was out calling to check on her daughter and Tara found herself with Jax, Opie, and Chibs. Tara noted the heavy accent and the menacing scars on his face.

"So love, how long are you going to be in our Charming little town?" Chibs asked. Jax didn't turn to her, but listened intently to her response.

"A while. I got a job at the hospital here in town, in the neonatal department."

"Are you a doctor?" Chibs asked.

"Hardly," Tara laughed. "I'm a nurse and my concentration is in neonatal development. I'm planning to become a doctor, though. I was in med school back in Chicago, but things got…complicated." Tara stuttered the end of her sentence. Her eyes went far away and she looked slightly frightened. Chibs noticed, and went to touch Tara's hand that was now resting under her chin. As soon as his hand came into her line of sight, she involuntarily flinched back and nearly toppled off the bar stool. Jax's hands instinctively went out to catch her, but she shooed him away.

"I'm okay. I'm fine. Excuse me." Tara left to go find a bathroom or the nearest exit. She needed a cigarette. She found the exit before the bathroom, and made a beeline for her car. Donna caught up to her just as she found her stashed cigarettes in the center console of the Cutlass.

"Hey, you're not leaving are you?" Donna asked worriedly.

"Huh? No, just needed some air and a smoke. It's a little much, ya know?" Tara fumbled with her lighter.

"You're telling me! I still can't believe you're here." Donna's anger had subsided, but wasn't gone. More displaced then anything. "Will we have time to catch up before you jet off again?" Donna's tone had turned slightly sad.

"I'm not going anywhere Donna, not this time." Tara said reassuringly, and realized then that she meant it.

While Tara and Donna were catching up outside, the mood was slightly tense with the trio Tara had just left.

"Okay, I know I'm drunk and all, but I didn't like try to hit her did I?" Chibs asked, a mix between confused and concerned.

"No, but my guess is that someone else has." Jax responded angrily.

"Well, this just got complicated." Chibs said.

"Jax, I know what you're thinking, but we need to let her get settled in before we bombard her with questions about her past. Let's not scare her away." As he finished his sentence, he saw the woman of topic and Donna walking back into the room. Chibs excused himself when they got to the table.

"Where's he going?" Tara asked.

"Who the hell knows," Opie replied.

The next few minutes passed with easy conversation between the old friends. Before long, Chibs returned with two bottles of tequila and five shot glasses.

"Oh shit! Chibs is ready to get the night going!" Opie exclaimed.

"I think I should sit these out. My hotel is in Lodi. I'm staying there until next week when I finalize my house here in Charming." Tara told them.

"Lodi? That's not a good idea." Chibs thought out loud.

"Why? It's not too far away and it's cheap." Tara had been caught off guard by Chibs statement and wanted an answer. They didn't disappoint.

"Yeah, it's cheap because prostitutes go there for business. Lodi is big on crank too. Please stay with Donna and me this week. Jax will be there some nights, but we have a guest room and a not so comfortable couch." Opie was very adamant about Tara NOT staying in Lodi.

Tara really didn't want to impose, but from the sounds of Lodi, she didn't want to be stuck in that hotel for even a single night.

"Alright, sounds good," Tara agreed. "Sure you don't mind?"

"No, not at all, it'll be good. We can all catch up."

As the night progressed, Tara was introduced to the rest of the club. The Perv she came to know as Tig. Though, she liked The Perv better. From what she's heard, it seems quite fitting. There was also Bobby, who was a nice guy, and surprisingly not creepy at all. Clay gave her a weird vibe, but she wasn't sure why. Next she met Juice, who was completely drunk at the time and shamelessly tried flirting with her. The last one she was introduced to was Kozik. She learned that he was a club member, but he was in the Tacoma charter. He was filling in while Piney was out dealing with some "personal demons". The prospect was apparently out cleaning the clubhouse where a waterline broke and flooded the whole place.

At about 1 A.M., the group began to disperse. Tara, Jax, Opie, Donna, and Chibs were all still in a group together. The men were on the verge of oblivion, while Tara and Donna had managed to get two shots and switched to soda.

"Hey guys are you ready to go home? It's late," Donna asked Opie and Jax.

"Yeah, I gotta be off too." Chibs slurred.

"Um, Chibs? How are you planning on getting home?" Tara asked. Chibs laughed like it was the funniest thing he had ever heard.

"I'm going to take my bike sweetheart. I sure the hell ain't walking across town."

"Yeah, that's not going to happen my friend," Donna told Chibs.

"What do you mean? My bikes right outside."

"Yeah, no shit, but you're not driving it. You're not going to want to argue with me, because you won't win." Donna said, smiling sweetly. Behind her, Jax and Opie were shaking their heads, eyes closed. Tara couldn't help but laugh, and Donna joined in when she turned around and saw the duo.

"Ugh, fine." Chibs fumbled with his pockets trying to find his phone. He got it out and looked at it for a while, before handing it over to Tara.

"Find Prospect in my phone." Tara did as asked and handed it back to Chibs.

"Sack! Wake up. I need you to come get my bike from O'Malleys. Hurry up, I don't have all night. Well I guess I do, but whatever. Just get here." He shut the phone and handed it back to Tara. She held her hand out and just stared at it.

"Uh, hey Chibs? That's not mine." Chibs mumbled something about "that woman" and handed the phone to Jax, who pocketed it without question.

Donna drove her truck home with Opie in the passenger seat, and Chibs in the middle. While Tara had Jax as a passenger in the Cutlass. It was already a long night, and wasn't even close to over yet.


	2. The Reveal

**A/N: So there have been a lot of questions posted through private messaging. ****It's kind of hard to say where this story will go because it is very AU so I'm not going off canon, except for a few situations.****There was no relationship in high school between Tara and Jax, but there is some history which will be uncovered later! :) Again, some angst, but just a nice story to get over what actually happened to the four characters that are involved.****This story will also be heavy on Chibs and Kozik.**

_Donna drove her truck home with Opie in the passenger seat, and Chibs in the middle. While Tara had Jax as a passenger in the Cutlass. It was already a long night, and wasn't even close to over yet._

Tara was at a loss for what to say to Jax. They weren't exactly close, but she was sure that they didn't hate each other either. Jax was the first one to break the silence.

"So do you have a boyfriend that will be joining you soon?" Jax wanted to know for personal reasons, and because he was sure there was a deranged boyfriend, or ex-

boyfriend, that he would have to beat up for the way Tara acted earlier.

Tara laughed lightly. "No, no boyfriend to speak of. At least not anymore."

"That sounds intriguing." Jax replied.

"Not really. It happened, it's over and it's time to move on." Jax noted how Tara seemed more like she was trying to convince herself then him. He figured it was best just to let it go.

"What about you? Married? Girlfriend?" Tara was also personally interested, but tried to hide it with nonchalance.

"Well, it's kind of a long story. For now, since my drunk mind can't tolerate much more, I'll say this: I have an ex fiance that is five months pregnant with my kid." Tara's mind was reeling. Jackson Teller is going to be a dad? That was not at all expected.

"Wow, congrats on the kid Jax." Tara didn't mean for her voice to be so void of emotion, but it was anyway.

"Yeah, I guess. Let's talk about something else. That topic is pretty depressing and depression and tequila don't mix well."

Tara was following closely behind Donna and through her conversation with Jax had lost some of her concentration, so when Donna slowed down, attempting to turn into the driveway, Tara nearly rear ended the truck.

"Sure you're not drunk?" Jax asked her lightly?

"Yep, positive."

Tara parked in the driveway behind Donna, who was in the garage. With the light shining in the back window, Jax and Tara could see Chibs and Opie. Opie had his head thrown back in an impossible looking angle. But Chibs was another story. He had his whole body turned towards Opie and had his head buried in Opie's hair. It was comical to say the least.

"Should we just leave them out here for tonight?" Donna asked.

"Donna, I can't tell if you're serious, but NO we shouldn't leave them for tonight. Opie will be pissed to wake and find someone who ISN'T you laying in his lap." Jax said, laughing at his own lame attempt at a joke.

"Ugh, you're probably right. Since it's your idea, you get to help wake them up," Donna replied back, also laughing.

"How adverse are you to water in your truck?"

"Not so much as long as you're the one cleaning it up."

"Deal!" Jax said while running towards the front door.

"Well, I see he hasn't changed much in the last five years. Still a large child, like Opie."

"Yeah, it gets pretty annoying some days, but they have been great with Ellie. Sometimes it does feel like I have three kids, but it's been fun." Donna said, looking lovingly at her passed out husband.

When they heard a band from the front door, both women turned to see what Jax had brought out with him. And when they saw him, they both stopped, semi exasperated with what he had decided to put water in. Instead of bringing out a small cup of water, Jax had filled a large sauce pan to the brim, and was carrying it out while trying not to spill it.

"Remember, you're cleaning this up!" Donna was able to yell, as Jax flung the passenger door open and doused both men in water.

Neither man said anything with the cold contact on their skin. Chibs was so used to the mode of waking up, and Opie too drunk to notice what woke him up.

"Doc? Doc is that you?" Chibs asked Tara.

"I'm a nurse Chibs, not a doctor."

"It's the same thing love, you just get paid less. Hey question. Where the hell am I, and why do I have hair in my mouth?" Tara and Donna looked at each other and broke out into hysterical laughter.

"Alright honey, let's get you to bed." Tara said putting one of Chibs arms around her shoulder, while Jax staggered to get the other one. Chibs wouldn't go farther than the living room, saying he liked the uncomfortable couch.

"Reminds me of the clubhouse. I sleep better imagining a crow eater sleeping between my legs."

Tara didn't say anything, but she had a few choice words she wanted to share with him. When she turned around, she saw that Opie had managed to get himself out of the truck and was walking towards Tara. Before she could respond, Opie had her in another bone crushing hug.

"It's so good to have you back Tar. Things will be hard for a while, but they will smooth out soon enough. And talk to Jax tonight, you're wrong about what you said. About the friendship thing. That's not all it was, it was never a convenience and peace offering." Opie slurred through all his words, but the truth in them rung out so clearly, it almost knocked Tara over.

Donna was finally able to wrangle Opie into bed, and came back out to explain the sleeping situations.

"Okay, so this is awkward. There's only one guest bedroom. Can you two figure out a plan that works for you? I need to go make sure Op ain't gonna puke in the bed again this weekend." Donna had a horrified look in his face as she remembered last weekend when her husband was so drunk he rolled over and threw up in between them instead of getting out of bed.

"Yeah, Donna, we're fine. Good night."

After Donna had left for her bedroom, Jax and Tara stood there silently for a minute. Jax nudged Tara on the shoulder.

"The guest room is this way. I'll show you where everything is."

Jax led her down a narrow hallway. On the left side she could hear Donna reminding her husband about his episode from last weekend. Tara laughed and continued following Jax. He pointed out the bathroom and nursery as they walked by them. On the last door of the hallway was the guest bedroom. It had a queen size bed and quite a bit of floor room.

"You take the bed; I'll take the floor in here if you don't mind. I'd stay in the living room, but last time I did that, I got stepped on by the person vacating the couch."

Tara smiled in approval, but inside her stomach was doing somersaults. She knew that in a matter of minutes, Jax would be sleeping, but it didn't help when she thought about him sleeping mere feet from her. Tara excused herself to the bathroom to try to get her nerves in check before she went back in there. She stayed in the bathroom for probably twenty minutes when she finally was able to pull herself from the comfort of her loneliness and go to the spare room.

Jax had already made a bed on the floor and looked to be sleeping. Tara quietly made her way to the bed, which was quite large by her standards. As she laid there, she let her self think. Think about her last 5 years. She wasn't ready to admit to anyone why she had left, but knew that she would need to in order to really start healing her emotional wounds. Those were the ones that were hardest to heal, the ones that no one could see. She thought things would be good for her when she went to school in Chicago, but again, she had managed to get herself into a situation she wished she never would have. If she hadn't been such a coward and left, then maybe she wouldn't have this constant fear running with her. But then again, staying in Charming, that is fear itself.

Tara was cut off from her thinking by Jax's unexpected voice.

"That's not really what you think is it?" He asked, voice gravely with sleep.

"What?" Tara asked surprised.

"About our friendship. That I was only friends with you by association? That I was basically guilt tripped into being your friend?"

Tara laid there, stunned. Of course that's what she thought. In any other circumstance, why would Jackson Teller, Prince of Charming, talk to fat girl Tara Knowles?

"Well, yeah, I do think that. Am I wrong?"

Tara heard movement from the side of the bed, and Jax's face appeared. He looked emotionally distraught, and Tara wasn't sure what had happened. He nodded to the bed, asking for permission to come and sit with her. She reluctantly nodded her head and sat up against the head board. Jax groaned as he got up off the floor, but quickly came to rest on the far side of the bed.

"That's bullshit you know. I would never be friends with someone just because I felt the need to. Yes, I'm loyal to Opie, deathly loyal, but that's just mean. Why would I take the time to be friends with someone just because of those reasons? You've known me most of my life, barring the last five years, and when have you ever seen me do something just because it was expected?"

Tara was shocked, yet again, but Jax's honesty. She thought back to her schooling days, and the more she thought, the more she realized that he was right. He'd never done something just because it was expected. He may be rough, and do things that aren't exactly legal, but Jax was honest to himself. Tara didn't respond. She didn't know what she could say, or even if she could say it without stuttering and looking like a complete moron.

"I didn't think so. You don't really know much about me do you? I mean, we hung out, but how much do you know about me?" Jax asked her seriously.

"Not much, I guess. But I think things go both ways. I don't think you know, or understand, much about me either. You can't just sit there and say how oblivious I am to the world, when you and Opie missed things that were right in front of your faces!" Tara realized all too late what she had said. Hoping Jax would not pinpoint on a mistake, she continued.

"You know nothing about what I went through. Donna helped me out with my emotional needs, but what about the other stuff. The ridicule and torment. Walking down the halls and people pushing me, or tripping me. Or how about one day when I got cornered in the locker room by Dylan Smith who thought I would be an easy lay since no one else wanted me.." Jax tried cutting her off, telling her to stop, but she kept going. She would soon wish had stopped. Her emotions had gotten the best of her and now she was crying. "Or you want to know the icing on the cake Jax? What about when I started sleeping with one of the members of your club, and he became so jealous of you and Opie that he beat this shit out of my repeatedly and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop seeing you two. Where were you then? Where was our friendship when you were out fucking random sluts and drinking yourself stupid that you couldn't even see what was going on right in your own clubhouse. You wanted to know why I left? You really want to know now? SAMCRO. SAMCRO is why I left Jax." As soon as the words left Tara's mouth. She knew she had fucked up. Jax looked so enraged that she was scared to move to get away from him, but scared of what he would do if she didn't move.

Jax advanced upon her and Tara flinched away immediately, hands shielding her face on reflex. She was cowering in the corner, making herself as small as she possibly could. But through her fingers she could still see Jax moving towards her. He gripped her hands and moved them away from her face. Tara quietly begged.

"Please Jax, don't hurt me. I'm sorry for what I said about the club. I didn't mean to tell you those things. Please." Her sobs were broken, but plentiful. Jax, finally able to move Tara's hands from her face, replaced his own there.

"Tara, look at me." When she didn't his voice got a little louder, but not angry. "Tara, look at me, please." Tara's resolve had broken when she heard such thick emotion in his voice. She wasn't sure why it was there, but it was there none the less. She opened her eyed and was met with Jax's.

"First of all, I will NEVER hurt you. Please, don't be afraid of me. And now I need you to tell me who did that to you. I'm going to make it right. I HAVE to make it right."

Tara just sat there, unmoving. She was not about to spill all of her dirty secrets to Jax, when she hadn't even confided in Donna yet. She wasn't ready for this, she needed time to prepare or things would get all jumbled in her head. She couldn't do this.

"I'm sorry." Jax said and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. Before she could move out of her stupor, Jax was gone and banging around the house. It took Tara about ten seconds to realize that he was waking everyone up. Her heart started hammering in her chest and she knew that she should have just kept her mouth shut about it all. When she finally caught up to him, Chibs was sitting awake on the couch, looking a bit better, but still pretty shitty, and he was banging on Opie and Donna's door.

"Opie, get up! We got a situation that needs taking care of. SAMCRO business. Don't make me break down the door." At that threat Donna, half naked, swung the door open.

"No need for violence Jax, we were just um, busy." Donna said with a sly smile on her face. Opie was in the room getting dressed, and throwing one of his shirts at Donna.

"I'll be back later, babe."

"No, we're not leaving. And we need Donna with us. Front room, Chibs is already up." Jax walked away and Donna and Opie shared a confused look with each other before they exited the bedroom. Donna caught site of Tara.

"Hey, any idea what's going on?"

"Unfortunately, yes, I know what's going on. I'm sorry." Tara said seriously, and now Donna was even more confused.

Once everyone was convened into the living room, Jax looked to Tara to begin, hoping she could reiterate her story and she wouldn't have to speak for him. When she didn't make a move to say anything, Jax went ahead without her.

"So, Tara and I got into a little argument just a minute ago." Jax was cut off by Donna.

"Jesus Jax! She isn't even home for 12 hours and you're fighting already? Way to make her feel comfortable."

"Hey! Wait you don't even know what we were talking about. Let me finish." Upon hearing no objection from Donna, he continued.

"We were talking about our friendship in high school and Tara let out a good bit of information she didn't want to. First off I want to start by saying if I ever see Dylan Smith again I'm going to rip his balls off and shove them down his throat." Donna gave Tara a knowing look, but Opie didn't know.

"He cornered Tara in the locker room and tried to push himself on her. And surprisingly that's the least of our concerns. There's someone in the club that's hurt Tara."

"What do you mean hurt, Jackie Boy?" Chibs, who had not been paying attention before, was at full attention now.

"Tara, do you want to tell them?" Tara knew if she didn't do it, then Jax might embellish things a bit, though things were bad enough.

"The reason I left five years ago was because I had started sleeping with a member, and he didn't like my friendship with Jax and you," she said meeting Opie's eyes.  
>"He got extremely jealous and when I refused to stop seeing you, he started hitting me. Just a couple times at first, and then it got bad. He would beat the living shit out of me on a weekly basis. The last straw was when he threatened to kill me if I didn't stop. I was scared enough to believe he would actually do it, so I left. I didn't say anything to Donna because I didn't want the rest of the club finding out. I didn't know what he would do if he knew I told anyone. I left because of SAMCRO."<p>

Donna and Tara were both crying, and Opie and Jax shared the same murderous glare. Chibs looked angry, but not as much as Jax and Opie.

"Club members don't do that. We don't beat the shit out of women, or threaten to kill them, barring some extenuating circumstances." Chibs spoke first, breaking the heated silence.

"Who was it?" Everyone in the room was surprised at the amount of hostility in Opie's voice. He turned to his wife. "Did you know about this?"

Donna sat silent. She knew Tara had started sleeping with a member, and she knew who it was. But given what's happened since Tara left, Donna really didn't want to tell her husband that the same man that pushed Tara out of Charming was the same man that sent him to prison.

"I knew of her involvement with a club member, but I didn't know about the violence. I would never let Tara get hurt and do nothing about it Op! She's like a sister to us and I would never do that. But yes, I knew about some of it."

"Unfuckingbelievable."

"Okay can we stop bitching about who knows what information and get to what really matters? Doc, who did that to you?" Chibs asked, turning the attention back to Tara.

"I don't want to tell you. I'm scared."

"Darlin' there's nothing to be scared of. Once you tell us who did it, this will all be taken care of." Jax said softly.

Donna could tell Tara was caving, and she wanted to prepare the boys for what they were about to hear.

"Just, watch your anger when she tells you. You're going to flip out and it's not going to be good. Just remember that there is a scared woman in here who has seen enough violence from SAMCRO, so don't show anymore right now." Chibs, Opie, and Jax didn't know what to say, but they looked angry, and now semi-scared.

With all eyes on Tara, she spoke the one name that no club member wanted to hear again.

"It was Kyle Hobart."

**A/N: okay guys, this is part one of a two part chapter! Let me know what you think about the bad guy of this story! :) Well, the bad guy in Charming anyway.**


	3. Complications

**A/N: I've gotten a lot of feedback and almost all of it is positive, I appreciate that! :) I have a few days off work with the holiday, so I'm updating more regularly then I will be after this weekend. I will updating it once a week after this one! It might be sooner then that, but I don't want to lie and say it'll be every 3 days when reality, is life happens! So, chapter 3, enjoy! Review or PM if you like it, don't like it, or have questions. I answer all reviews that are from registered users. I'm not able to reply to guests, sorry :(**

_"It was Kyle Hobart."_

Everyone heard her, but no one wanted to believe her. She looked around the room. Opie and Jax were so mad, they looked like they were in pain, and Chibs finally looked as mad as they were. Tara understood some anger, but she hadn't anticipated this. Why was everyone so torn up about this? People get beat up all the time, it's not like this is something new. Tara then realized, it was because it was her. She was a cherished friend of Donna, and Opie. Opie was a member of the club that had abused her and pushed her out. Tara had to backtrack. The club hadn't pushed her out, she couldn't keep thinking of it that way if she were to have a shot at successfully staying in Charming. It was one horrible member, not the club as a whole.

"Did you just say it was Kyle?" Opie asked quietly. Tara looked at him more closely and realized that he was shaking.

"Yeah. Opie, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? You had someone beat the shit out of you and threaten to kill you because your friends with me and Jax. AND he was a member of the club. That's what's wrong Tara. How can you not see the severity of this situation?!" Opie was showing the anger that Donna had not wanted him to.

"Opie, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I really am. I was so ashamed that I let myself get put into that situation that I just kept it to myself. And then when things got bad, I literally crept out of Charming in the middle of the night. But you're too mad. Yes, it's a big deal but it happens to people all the time."

"Doc, this is a bigger deal then you think. I've known these boys forever, and this is something that hasn't happened. There is no real response set in place for when something like this happens. I've heard countless stories about you, and you're wrong when you think it's okay because it happens to others. These boys, and myself, aren't worried about the others, we're worried about you."

Chibs' sincerity caught Tara off guard. But she couldn't help to think that there was more to the situation.

"While we're telling secrets, you should probably know mine." It was Opie that spoke this time. Everyone's attention turned to him. Even though Tara was the only one who didn't know, the others listened intently anyway.

"Can you keep a club secret, Tara?" Opie asked her.

"It seems she's pretty good about keeping secrets, Op." Jax added sarcastically. Opie ignored his dig at Tara and continued.

"About two months after you left, Kyle and I were on a job together for the club. We were blowing up a warehouse. Things didn't go as planned, and the cops showed up. Kyle bailed and I was left to take the fall for the arson. With my priors, I was sentenced to 5 years in prison. I got out in 3 years. While I was inside, the club had voted and Kyle was excommunicated from the club. He's not a member anymore. I paid my dues, and when I came out, he was gone. He's popped up now and then, since his ex wife and children still live here in Charming, but there is no good blood between him and the club."

Tara thought hard about what Opie was telling her. If she had told them about Kyle earlier, maybe Opie wouldn't have been sent to prison. She had not only caused the pain to Donna of losing her best friend, she also caused the pain of losing her husband. What if Kyle had left Opie because he was mad about Tara leaving him? Either that, or Kyle really was a coward and couldn't face the consequences for his actions.

"This is all my fault. If I would have told you guys, this wouldn't have happened. Kyle probably left you there because of his resentment towards me."

"There's a possibility of that, but this isn't your fault. You were trying to protect yourself and that's the most natural human instinct: survival." Chibs told her.

"I didn't tell you that to make you feel bad, Tara. I hadn't even thought of that. I just wanted you to know why we reacted the way that we did. This isn't going to just get swept under the rug and forgot about." Opie's anger had subsided a little, and he was able to think more clearly about situations.

"Hey Doc. While we're on testy subjects, can I ask you a question? When we were at the bar, and I tried to touch your hand. Did you flinch away because of the reflex from Kyle? Or is the complication with med school you mentioned part of it too?"

Tara had hoped that she wouldn't have to tell anyone about that. She could just use the Kyle excuse, but there was always the possibility of Adam returning. She might as well get all the bad shit out there now and not have to relive it more then once.

"When I was in Chicago I met someone in one of my classes. He was nice and things were going great. Then he got weird and possessive, never hit me, but I was always afraid of that. I tried to end things and then he started stalking me. This time I was smart enough to end things before they got physical, but he still scares me. I don't know if he'll show up here, but I'm hoping that he doesn't. That's it, that's my whole horrible history of my life up until now. Please, don't drag anything more out of me, I don't think I could handle it."

"Jesus Tara, why didn't you come home sooner? Or why didn't you just tell us about Kyle?" Jax asked her, completely exasperated.

"Jax, let me ask you a question. Has Kyle ever killed a man before?" The silence she was met with was the only answer she needed.

"Now tell me why I was wrong to leave town when he threatened to kill me? If he's capable of killing someone he doesn't know or has to track down, what could he have done with me so at his disposal?"

Tara had a good point and they all knew it. They could sit and argue with Tara about her decisions until everyone was blue in the face, but they knew she had a point.

"I'm going to kill him."

Everyone turned to look at Jax. Donna and Tara had horrified expressions on their faces, while Opie and Chibs had looks of resignation on theirs.

"What?! No, Jax. It's over. There's nothing to do now except move on from this. He obviously won't be coming back here anytime soon. Please, just let it go?"

"Let it go. Tara you've got to be fucking kidding me! All the shit he did to you, which we still don't know the complete story, and you want to just let it go? What the fuck is wrong with you that you don't want someone sticking up for you? Have you not changed at all? Little Tara sitting in the corner crying, playing the martyr when she doesn't need to!" Jax stopped short, realizing what he had said to her.

"Fuck you, Jax. You know nothing. How dare you put a label on me when you know NOTHING. Back to our earlier topic, now even more then ever I believe that you were friends with me for Opie's sake. Otherwise you wouldn't have such a jaded fucking view on the person that I was then or the person that I am now!" Tara got up and made her way to the guest room, locking the door behind her.

"Way to go, Jax. Thought we were going to make it the rest of the night without doing something stupid." Donna admonished Jax and went back to the spare bedroom.

Opie and Chibs sat quietly while Jax quietly stewed over the mistake that he had made. He didn't mean to be such an ass, it just happened.

"We need to take this to the club." Chibs said

"We can't break Tara's trust like that." Jax said, feeling even more guilt.

"Jax, we have to. We won't tell about Tara's personal life in Chicago, that's not their business. But we have to go to the club about what was going on when he was still a member. Someone might know something. Though, I hope it's not too much. I don't know if I could take another brother letting this happen."

Jax was resigned to admit that Opie was right. "Alright, but we should sleep some. We have chapel in a few hours anyway, and we can discuss things then."

-AHW-

Donna knocked quietly on Tara's door, only to get met with silence.

"Tara, it's Donna. Can you unlock the door please?"

Tara didn't say anything, but came and unlocked the door. Donna followed Tara to the bed where they both laid down.

"Jax didn't mean it, Tara. He is just really angry about all the information you have given him tonight. He thought it was his fault you left five years ago, and he's never forgiven himself for it. He thought he was the one that had caused you all that pain."

Tara was confused. How could Jax have caused that pain? She didn't realize she spoke out loud until Donna had responded to her.

"Tara, do you remember what happened at the New Years Eve party we went to at the clubhouse, the year that you left?"

Tara laughed remembering all the stupid shit her and Donna would do at parties. They had so much fun that night. Playing beer pong with the guys, singing karaoke, on a machine this time, and winning two hands of poker against some members from a different charter. Most of the Redwood Charter were off doing a job. That was the first, and only, time Tara had been to a party at the club house. The other few times she was there, Kyle snuck her in when he was staying there to get away from his wife.

"Yeah, we drank a lot and won a lot of money." Tara said laughing. But stopped short when she realized that Donna wasn't laughing too.

"Is that all you remember?"

Tara was quiet as she thought about that night. It wasn't until she thought about Jax that she remembered.

"Yeah, I remember. Well, at least now I do. I guess I suppressed it because I chalked it up to a drunken night." Tara said sadly.

"You were the only one drinking, Tara. And you weren't even that drunk. Jax was sober. He had just gotten back from Oakland and you were laying in his bed because you said it was probably the cleanest out of the bunch."

_Flashback to New Years Eve 2002_

_"Donna, all my alcohol has worn off. Either I need to drink more, or go lay down."_

_"Tara, if you drink more you'll be sorry, you should just go lay down. You can go to my room." Opie said._

_Tara laughed. "Naw, I'm sure Jax's room is the cleanest here. He does his dirty business elsewhere." Opie showed her the way to Jax's room, not knowing she'd been in the clubhouse before._

_"Thanks guys. See you in the morning. Don't leave me here alone in the morning please."_

_Tara laid there for probably two hours without falling asleep. She was going over the growingly hostile situation with Kyle and how to handle it. She was scared, and sick of having to cover up bruises, or not see Donna for days at a time until they were light enough to pass as something else. She wished she could just tell Jax and Opie, but that would mean things would probably get worse. They might not even believe her. Kyle was a club member after all. Why would he be violent towards a woman, let alone a friend of the club? During her musings, Tara hadn't noticed that someone had entered the room._

_"Well, well, well. What have we got here?" Jax asked. Tara shot up in bed._

_"Oh, hey Jax. Sorry I crashed here. I thought this would be the best since you weren't here and everyone else is kind of sluts from what I hear." Tara said in a laughing tone._

_"Nah, it's alright. I'm kinda tired though. Would you be too put out if I asked to sleep on the other side of you? No funny business I promise." Jax flashed her his signature grin."_

_She was nervous, but it was his bed after all._

_"Yeah, I guess. I could go home too. I'm not that drunk anymore, and I'd be fine to drive if you'd prefer."_

_"Tara, that's dumb. Don't even think about it. We can share a bed, it's not that big of a deal, right?"_

_Tara moved all the way over to one side, and Jax laid down on the other. They were silent for a few minutes, and Tara was beginning to fall asleep._

_"So how was the party?" Jax asked sleepily._

_"It was great actually. Too bad you missed it. Donna and I danced and sang and even played some games against the guys. I won two hands of poker."_

_Jax laughed heartily. "You beat a big bad biker gang at poker? That's dangerous, these assholes are sore losers."  
><em>

_"Nah, they were pretty good about it. They have a lot of money to be spending though, Jesus. They kept trying to up the ante and Donna and I didn't have that kind of money."_

_"It's probably because they lost to two pretty girls that they didn't throw fits."_

_"Oh please. They aren't that bad of guys, Jax. I mean, I don't know them at all but they seem pretty nice. I like it here, it feels like family."_

_"This is a family, Tara. Not your traditional kind of course, but who's traditional anymore anyway?"_

_As the conversation grew on, neither noticed how close they had come to each other. There was maybe only a foot separating them now, and Tara was getting ready to move back, but Jax stopped her._

_"Tara? Happy New Year," he then leaned over and kissed her. Tara didn't respond right away, out of shock, but as she felt Jax pulling away, she grabbed the top of his sweatshirt and pulled him to her. She had dreamt of this moment more times then she would like to admit to herself. Before she knew it, Jax was almost flush against her skin and had his hands all over her body._

_"Jax, don't." Tara said squirming away from his touch on her bare skin._

_"Hey, don't do that Tara. You're beautiful." That compliment was all Tara needed to keep her going. Jax had called her beautiful, and not a lot of people did that and meant it. In that moment she felt more love and affection for Jax then she ever had, which was saying a lot. In her mind though, she knew she should slow down, he was probably drunk and would regret sleeping with a friend in the heat of the moment. She didn't think he would regret it with her because Jax was an equal opportunity kind of guy, he slept with any woman, but he had a semblance of a moral code and would regret that he actually likes her._

_But she didn't slow down, and neither did Jax. For one night, Jax and Tara spent the night together. Something both of them had been wanting, but was too scared to admit to the other._

After she pulled herself from her musings, she was excited and confused.

"Why would Jax think that he pushed me away because we slept together?"

"About two days before you left town, we were at mine and Op's old apartment and you were venting to me about Kyle. You were saying how it wasn't fair that he was using you for his own enjoyment and you wished you could go back and make it so things never happened again. Well Jax overheard the last part of that conversation and thought it was directed towards him. He had never forgiven himself for that. I think maybe now he knows it was about Kyle, but I think when you're calmed down enough you should talk to him. Get this all straightened out."

Almost as if on que, someone knocked on the bedroom door. Tara shot a startled look to Donna, but nodded her head. Donna got up and answered the door, where Jax was standing on the other side. Jax stepped in and Donna made her move to leave.

_Will you be okay?_ Donna mouthed to Tara, who nodded her head minutely.

"Hey, I'm sorry for the way I reacted with the Kyle thing. That's just not what we expected is all. We're going to take it to the club later today and we'll go from there. I-I am also sorry for what I said. I shouldn't have made the comments that I did. I'm just surprised that you don't want anything done about it. I shouldn't be though. You've always shouldered your problems without having anyone else help. But that's not how it's going to be anymore. We're all here for you, and since your a part of this weird family with Op, Donna, and me, your family to the club too. We take care of our own, Tara. That's just how it is."

"It's not your fault I left, Jax. Donna told me what you overheard, but that wasn't about you. The reason that I never brought that situation up again is because I assumed you were drunk and you would regret it in the morning. So I slipped out while you were still sleeping, thinking you might not even remember it. I don't regret that night, I never would. It was a great night, probably the best of my life. I'm sorry that you have carried that burden with you for five years, but you don't need to anymore."

"Tara, I've never regretted that, and I wasn't drunk. I did that because I've always wanted to."

The two sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, and were saved when someone knocked on the door. Opie shoved his head through the smallest opening he could.

"We have to be at the clubhouse in four hours Jax. You should get some sleep. Tara, you still okay to stay here this week?"

"Yeah, Op, I'm fine. I have to go in for some pre-employment stuff at St. Thomas at noon, but I'll be back." Op just smiled in response and closed the door.

"Tara, I know we have a lot we need to talk about, but how about we both lay down for a bit. No funny business, I promise."

Tara laughed. "Yeah, I've heard that before."

But this time they did just sleep and before either of them wanted to, Chibs was in waking Jax up to go to Chapel and Tara needed to get ready to go to St. Thomas.

On the way out the door, Jax stopped in the kitchen where Donna and Tara were sitting with Ellie, who had just gotten dropped off from the baby sitter.

"Hey, we'll be back later today. I'll be staying here for awhile while things are getting renovated at my house, so we can talk later okay?"

Tara looked up from Ellie and smiled. "Yeah, okay. See you guys later."

When Chibs walked by he kissed Tara on the head. "It's really nice to finally meet you, Doc. And don't worry, everything will be okay and you're safe here."

-AHW-

Chapel was running business as normal for the club. Piney was still out, facing his demons. Which in club terms means he has been too drunk to leave his house for almost a month. So Kozik was still sitting in for him. Happy was also in visiting from Tacoma. Since he is looking to make the jump to Redwood, he has been sitting in on the meetings. As Clay was getting ready to adjourn the meeting, Jax spoke up about a club issue that has surfaced.

"Everyone met Tara last night, right?" Jax asked being met with nods of agreement from everyone except Tig. He just looked confused.

"Donna's stripper sister from Jax's party." Chibs knew that wasn't true, but it would be the one thing that would remind Tig. Which worked, as Tig smiled and nodded in agreement, finally.

"Okay well, some shit came out last night about why she jumped ship five years ago. She was in a really bad abusive relationship with a guy. He threatened to kill her and she fled, fearing that he would actually do it." Jax explained.

"How is this a club matter, Jax? It's horrible, but isn't that something you and Op can take care of on your own?" Clay asked, knowing they would rectify that situation.

"It's a club matter when Kyle was the one that had beat the shit out of her." Opie said with disgust.

"Well, that definitely changes things," Juice piped up.

"I have a question before we get too far into this. Did anyone remember seeing Kyle bringing in anyone to the clubhouse that wasn't his wife?" Jax asked.

Low murmurs were heard, but no one spoke up. Everyone spent most of their nights shit faced and wouldn't remember anything anyway.

"Just think about if you did, because most of the time he brought her here. I don't like thinking that a woman was beat up in our own clubhouse and no one did anything to stop it. I'm guilty of not seeing it too, but I don't want to find out anyone else knew about this. I couldn't handle it." Jax said regretfully.

The club then talked about their options in regards to Kyle. They adjourned after coming to the conclusion that they would have to wait for Kyle to come to Charming before they did anything. No point seeking him out when he would return one day.

They were leaving the Chapel when Jax's phone rang. Gemma's name flashed across the screen.

"Hey, Ma. What's up?"

"Jax, you need to get to St. Thomas right away. It's Wendy."

-AHW-

Tara had just finished filling out her paperwork when Margaret Murphy came into the lounge.

"Tara, I know you don't technically start yet, but we have had two people call in and there's an emergency in the neonatal unit. Is there anyway that you can stay until things get settled down?"

Tara didn't have any scrubs with her, but knew that there would be extras.

"Yeah, absolutely. Is there someone I can get a pair of scrubs to wear for the day?"

Margaret showed her to the other lounge area that housed extra garments of all kinds, and showed her the way to the neonatal unit.

There was flutter all around the ward, with doctors and nurses running from one room to the next. Margaret showed her to a room where an impossibly small child was laying in the incubator waiting for tests to be run. A doctor walked up behind Tara giving her the chart.

"Male child born approximately two hour ago. 12 weeks premature and in need of two different kind of surgeries. We need to get him stabilized before we are able to do that. Thanks for covering for us." The doctor handed her the chart and left without waiting for a reply.

Tara took the chart the doctor had handed her. There was no name for the child, just the mothers name. In the jumble of the moment, Tara didn't realize that the child she was trying to save was the son of the man trying to save her.

After a few hours, Tara and a team of others were able to get the child stabilized enough to get him to surgery. The likelihood of him making it out of surgery was not very good though. Since all of the doctors were busy with the child, Tara was appointed to go out to the waiting room to see if there was any family for the child there.

Tara took a deep breath and went to the waiting room. She was surprised when not only Jax was there, but Gemma, Donna, and the rest of the club were in the waiting room.

"Jax, what are you doing here?"

"My mom brought in my ex. She was laying unconscious in the middle of her kitchen floor. Cracked out while pregnant with my kid." Jax said hollowly.

Everything hit Tara like a ton of bricks. The small child was Jax's and there was a high probability that the baby wouldn't survive the surgeries he was being taken to.

"Oh god, Jax. I'm so sorry. Is your ex Wendy Case?" Tara continued when everyone nodded.

"I don't know the whole situation with Wendy, but I know that your son is in bad shape Jax. They had to do an emergency c-section on her if they wanted to keep the baby alive. It took a few hours, but we were able to stabilize him. But he is in surgery now." Tara had tried to maintain professionalism, but it was becoming increasingly hard.

"Tara, what are his chances of survival." Gemma asked.

"Not good, they give him a 10-20 percent chance of making it out of surgery." Jax looked like he was going to ask more questions, but was cut off by a doctor looking for the family of Wendy.

"Are you the father of the child?" The doctor asked Jax.

"Yeah, Jax Teller."

"Can you come with me for a moment, Mr. Teller?"

"Whatever you have to say, just say it here. I'll tell them all anyway."

The doctor looked reluctant, but didn't really want to go against such rough looking men.

"Wendy made it through the c-section, but there were some complications. She didn't regain consciousness until about half hour ago. There is some paper work that you are going to have to come with me to fill out, Mr. Teller."

"What kind of paperwork?" Gemma asked/

"Well for starters we have to do a paternity test."

"A paternity test? Why? That's my son in there!" Jax argued.

"I understand that Mr Teller, but Wendy is relinquishing all rights to your son. In order for that to happen, we have to establish paternity for the child so we can show the courts that the child does in fact have a biological parent willing to take care of him."

"What a selfish, junkie bitch." Gemma said under her breath.

Jax shot Tara a scared, pleading look and followed the doctor back to take responsibilities for something he wasn't ready to do alone.

**A/N2: Okay guys, I know this was a long chapter, and it was a lot of information, but I wanted to get it out there. Let me know what you guys think. I'm open for suggestions too! Let me know what you want to see.**


	4. Abel and Willing

**A/N: I have gotten a lot of positive feedback from that last chapter, and I appreciate it. I wasn't sure how it would be received with all the information brought to light, and with how lengthy it was compared to my other two, but thanks guys! You're all amazing. Please do not get used to me posting this much, as it'll only be happening this week. I'm actually off work until Thursday, so I've had a lot of writing time. **

**Special thanks to elbeewoods who is kind of like my metaphorical rock in the fan fiction world. You're awesome! :) Well guys, Allons-y!**

Margaret caught up to Tara as she was coming back into the neonatal unit. When she caught the look of shock on Tara's face, she immediately began to worry.

"Tara. Are you alright?"

"Hm? Yeah, sorry Ms. Murphy. I'm okay. Just been a long day. I actually know the patients father, Jax."

"Please, call me Margaret. And I'm sorry about your friend. That little man in there is going to have quite the road to recovery. I guess it's good his dad is friends with a nurse who specializes in this sort of thing. The on call nurses just got here to relieve you. You're free to go and you don't have to come back for anymore pre-employment stuff. We'll see you next week for your "official" first day. Just be careful Tara. I don't know much about those men, but some of the stuff I do know isn't good."

Tara laughed without humor in her voice. "I'll be alright Margaret. I'm safe there." And she knew it was true.

-AHW-

The group were still congregated in the waiting room when Tara exited through a side door. Donna saw her first and ran over to meet her.

"Hey, is everything alright?"

"Yeah, it's the same from just a few minutes ago. The baby is still in surgery and will be for some time now. I'm actually off work so I'm going to hang out here and wait with you guys. I'll be here to answer any questions that any one has in the process. Well, to the best of my ability anyway."

Tara and Donna went to rejoin the group and were met with Chibs and Opie standing front and center waiting for them.

"It's a good thing your here, Doc. We have a lot of questions, and Jax is going to need a helping hand with that little man." Again, kind words from Chibs.

"Chibs, how many times do I have to tell you, I'm not a doctor yet. Just a plain ol' nurse."

"Hey, don't diminish what you do. You helped save that little boys life when his own mother didn't care enough to keep him from dying." This time it was a younger blond guy that she had met last night, but couldn't remember his name.

"Thanks...?" She was trying to lead him to say his name without outright telling him she forgot.

"Kozik." he answered, smiling.

Gemma walked up to Tara briskly and Tara moved away slightly from the sudden contact. Opie laid a reassuring hand on her back to show that it was okay. Gemma looked mean, but she wasn't mad at Tara in this situation, she just didn't know how to shut her anger off when necessary.

"Tara, I know what you told us in your professional opinion, but in your personal opinion, what do you think his chances are?"

All eyes were on Tara and she was growing nervous by the second.

"I agree with my professional opinion. But I also think that this child is very strong. Statistically a good percentage of children born that premature don't make it past the first hour. For him to be stable enough for surgery is a good thing. He is in good hands with Dr. Nameed I can promise you that. He is known all around the country for his work in the neonatal surgical field. That baby is a fighter, and he has one hell of a family waiting for him. I think that he will pull through this. If he makes it out of surgery without complications, he will be fine. It's a long road to recovery, but the support system you guys have in place is amazing and that can do amazing things."

Everyone smiled at Tara and went about with their conversations they were having before she had gotten there.

In the one corner was Chibs, Tara, Donna, Opie, and Kozik.

"Tara, I hate to bring this up now, but we met with the club today regarding your little issue you had."

Tara grew still. Now everyone knew of her problem, and they were going to feel sorry for her. That was something she didn't take well, pity.

"Great, now everyone knows. They probably think I'm some sort of delusional slut. I slept with a married man after all."

"This isn't something you brought on yourself, Tara. This was a major fuck up by a demented man. You can't harbor that anymore then you need to. No one thinks less of you because of your relationship with him. Everyone here has skeletons in their closet, and yours aren't that bad. But we can't just let this go. Everyone hurts when a member of the family hurts." Kozik who had just met Tara the previous night, already made her feel like she belonged here.

"So what are you guys going to do? I'd prefer if it were nothing, but Jax made it perfectly clear that wasn't going to happen."

"Well, you got your wish for now. We decided to wait until he comes back here before we make any further decisions. And no offense, but now we have a lot more to worry about. A junkie ex and a sick child."

Tara was glad that the main focus of everyone's attention would be the baby. She couldn't handle it if anyone was worried about her past when there was something much more pressing in the present.

Everyone sat around and talked for a while longer. A few members came up to ask Tara some questions, and even just to reintroduce themselves. They remembered her about as much as she remembered them.

Donna and Tara were left alone when the men went to talk to Clay.

"How you holding up Tara? It's been a long day for you hasn't it?"

"Yeah, but you know, it's my job. There are going to be days like this everyday. That's what happens in the neonatal unit. It just hits so close to home that I had trouble remaining professional when Jax looked like he was in so much pain." Donna didn't get to respond before the man of topic came into view.

"Jax! How did everything go back there?" Opie asked, rejoining the little group.

"I don't know, Op. I didn't see Wendy, I couldn't without losing my temper. How could she do this? Any of it? Shoot up while pregnant. I thought that habit of hers was kicked before she even became pregnant. And then to just toss him to the side when she didn't feel like she could handle it? It's probably for the best anyway. She'd make a shitty mother."

Tara looked at Jax and knew there was more to what he was saying. Deep in his eyes she could see worry. Worry for the child, and worry for himself. He didn't know how to raise a baby, let alone by himself. He still depended on his mother for things, how was he going to have someone depend on him so completely.

"Tara. Thank you so much for what you have done for Abel. I appreciate it more then I can say. Even if he doesn't make it, I know that you did all you could to help."

"Jackson Teller! That is no way to talk. Your son is going to make it. He has to!" Gemma was on the verge of hysteria when she thought of losing her grandchild before she even met him.

"Abel?" Chibs asked.

"Yeah, I think it's a very fitting name for him. If he's able to survive this rough start to life, he will be able to live through some pretty shitty times in life."

"I think it's a great name, Jax." Tara said, smiling the best she could in the tense situation.

Jax turned to the group.

"I appreciate you all being here. You don't have to stay. I know there are some of you who have families at home who probably want to see you. And I'm sure these club business somewhere that needs taking care of. I love that you're all here supporting me, but I think I've got this. I just ask that Donna, Opie, and Tara stay. Please." Jax could see that everyone was going to put up an argument, especially his mother.

"Please, Ma. It's just too much right now. I know you mean well but you'll hound doctors and nurses and be a bitch to anyone who doesn't give you the answer you want. I just want some down time. I'm not leaving and I will inform everyone as SOON as I hear anything on his status. Please, just go home for a while."

Everyone abide by his wishes with the exception of Kozik and Chibs. Koziks excuse was he didn't have anyone waiting for him since he doesn't technically live in Charming. Chibs excuse was that most of his family just walked out the door and he wasn't leaving family here to suffer in a small group. Jax wanted to argue but he just didn't have it in him.

The group sat around talking for a couple of hours before Dr. Nameed emerged from the unit. He had blood spattered on his scrubs and the sight made them all nauseous.

"Mr. Teller?"

"Yeah, that's me."

"Okay. I'm going to start with the best news. He made it out of surgery. With his size and premature status, there were some complications. His body didn't respond right away and we lost him for a minute. With that said, he is attached to some machines to help him breathe, since his lungs aren't fully formed yet. Also, since he doesn't have very prominent veins, the IV is being administered on the top of his head. It looks bad, but it isn't any more painful than if he were to have one in his arm."

All six people in the group had grief stricken looks on their faces. Tara was aware of the possibilities, but being as she knew this child by extension, it made it that much more difficult.

"Can I see him?" Jax asked hopefully.

"Yes, two people may be admitted into the room at a time. But you won't be able to touch him. He will be placed in a, well; it looks like a clear plastic box. It's to help regulate body temperature and keep germs out."

"Thank you doctor, so much." Jax said gratefully.

"If there are any other questions Nurse Knowles knows how to contact me." With that Dr. Nameed left through the same doors he emerged from.

"Tara, could you come with me?"

Tara was surprised by the question. Meeting his son for the first time and he wanted her there with him? Tara's heart swelled at the idea of sharing this moment with Jax. It deflated slightly when she realize d it was probably only because she would be Abel's nurse soon.

"Um yeah, if you're sure?" Tara unintentionally posed it as a question. Jax nodded his head and asked her to lead the way.

Before Tara could open the door she had motioned was Abel's, Jax grabbed Tara's hand, haltering her where she stood.

"I don't know if I can do this. I'm not parent material, Tara. And what if I go in there and have this bond with him and he ends up dying? What then? What am I supposed to do?" Jax's eyes started getting misty and he stopped before emotion took him over completely. Without really thinking of her actions, she withdrew her hand from Jax's and placed both of hers on his face.

"Jax. You will love this child and be the best father to him this boy could have. You want to know how I know this? Because deep in your heart, you'd already die for him then to let something happen. You already feel that bond between father and son; simply because he exists. It's changed you irrevocably."

Jax leaned his head into Tara's embrace. He then pulled her into a tight hug. She thought she felt him kiss her head, but she wasn't sure if her imagination was just at work. He pulled away and went to the door. With his hand on the door handle, he took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Jax's breath hitched upon seeing his son laying there. He picked up his pace until he was hovering over the baby.

"He's so small, Tara. How is he even alive?"

"He's a strong kid Jax. You did good."

"I didn't do anything." Jax argued.

"Yes you did. You didn't give up."

"How much does he weigh?" Jax asked Tara.

"He's approximately 2 pounds 5 ounces. Very small, but he'll grow. He may even be tall like you or Op someday." She said, nudging his shoulder.

"Yeah, or he could be a midget like you or Donna." Jax laughed for the first time all day.

-AHW-

The two sat in the room and talked about what would come next. About half hour later, Tara excused herself so that someone else could visit with Jax and Abel. She asked if there was anyone she specifically wanted to see.

"Yeah, could you send in Op. And have Donna or one of the guys call the clubhouse to inform them. But tell them he isn't allowed to have visitors yet. I don't want too much commotion surrounding him right now." Tara smiled at him.

"Look at you, daddy. Already making smart choices for your son."

Tara left the room feeling lighter then when she had entered it. She made it to the waiting room and explained to Opie how to get back to where Jax was with Abel. Tara then turned to the trio that was waiting for their chance to meet little Teller.

"Hey. Jax asked me to have one of you three to call the clubhouse and explain that he made it out of surgery alright. He also wants you to tell them that he isn't allowed to have visitors so there's no point in anyone coming down right now." Everyone knew that was a lie since Tara and Opie had already met the baby, but they didn't want to risk the wrath of Jax coming after them.

"Chibs, you call the clubhouse and I'll call Gemma directly. She'll flip shit if she finds out through association what is going on." Chibs nodded his head in agreement and went to one side of the waiting room while Donna went to the other.

Kozik came up and sat next to Tara, who looked appropriately exhausted.

"Hey you alright there?" Kozik asked her.

"Yeah, just a long day. We didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I was only supposed to come in for paperwork today so I wasn't concerned with it. I didn't expect to pick up part of a shift. It's been a long day physically and emotionally for everyone."

Kozik patted Tara on the knee. "You should head back to Opie's. You look dead on your feet. I know you want to stay here, but there's only so much you can do, ya know?"

Tara hated to admit it, but Kozik was right. She was extremely tired and really wanted to go home and take a shower.

"Yeah, you're right. Thanks Kozik."

"Anytime dear, anytime."

Tara headed over to where Donna was standing to explain to her about what she wanted. Donna gave her a spare key and explained that she'd be home in about an hour after she picked Ellie up from daycare. Tara excused herself from the group and went back to Abel's room. It was only two per room but she figured if she just stopped in for two seconds, no one would fault her for it. She peeked into the room and saw Jax and Opie both standing above the baby, appearing to be having an intense conversation. She hated to interrupt them, but she didn't want to leave without an explanation. She knocked timidly before she opened the door. Both men looked up setting their intense gaze on her.

"Oh hey, let me give you the room. I'm sure Jax has more questions." Opie said quickly, really making her wonder what they were talking about.

"No, that's alright. Actually I just wanted to let you guys know that I would be leaving. I didn't expect to be working today and with the eventful night we had last night, I'm extremely tired. I hope that's alright with you, Jax."

"Yeah, of course it is. I didn't mean to be selfish and have you stay here all day. I'm sorry about that."

"No, I wanted to be here. I will tell you though; they will probably be kicking you out in about two hours. When he gets a little stronger and needs the contact, they'll let you stay here, but right now it's more beneficial to let the doctors do their work through the night, and then come back in the mornings." The guys nodded at her and she took that for her cue to leave.

After saying goodbye to Chibs, Kozik, and Donna, Tara was dismayed to find that one of the men was following her to Opie's house. When she pulled into the driveway, Chibs met her at the door.

"Sorry, Doc. Can't be too careful. Saw how tired you were and tired and driving doesn't always mix well. Just wanted to make sure you got here okay," he said with a sheepish grin on his face.

"Thanks, Chibs. I appreciate that. See you later." Tara ducked into the house. She relished in the quiet, knowing that it would not last very long. She had grabbed her bags from the trunk and dropped them off in the guest bedroom. She gathered what she needed for a shower and headed towards the bathroom. After a long, hot shower, she put some pajamas on and went to lie down. It was only 6 pm, but the last two days have seemed to bleed together and she found herself much more exhausted then she realized.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed before she heard commotion in the front room. She threw her pillow over her head to try and quiet the sounds a little more. She was too exhausted to come out, unless of course it was related to Abel, and then she would jump at the chance. There was a light knock on the door and some light appeared through.

"Tara, honey, I'm sorry to wake you up, but are you hungry? Opie and I brought home some pizza. Kozik and Chibs are eating here tonight too."

Tara mumbled what she hoped sounded like a _no thank you_. She figured the point got across when the door closed. She pulled out her cell phone and realized that only 45 minutes had passed since she had gotten out of the shower. She probably hadn't even fully fallen asleep yet, which would account for her incoherence. She set an alarm for the morning, thinking there was a good chance that she would sleep completely through the night.

-AHW-

It took the nurses about ten extra minutes to tear Jax away from Abel's room, but when they were able to, Jax immediately said he wanted to go back to Donna and Opie's house. His house wouldn't be ready for them to live in for another two months. The renovations were scheduled to be done approximately 4 weeks before the baby was due. Until then, he would be staying between the clubhouse and Opie's. Though Opie's house had much more allure then it used to, thanks to a certain nurse that is staying with them for the week.

The four men rode their motorcycles back to the house, while Donna took her car and picked up Ellie and the pizza. When she got back to the house, all the lights were off except for the main room where the men were sitting. She noticed right away that Jax and Chibs weren't in the room.

"Hey babe, where did Chibs and Jax go?"

"Oh, they're just outside smoking. Jax, I think, is still adjusting to his son being here, but not being _here._ He also kind of wants to talk to Tara but I'm assuming she's sleeping after the last two days she's had."

"I'll go check on her. She should eat something anyway. I brought pizza." Kozik was off the couch immediately and following Donna into the kitchen.

"I need to get me an ol' lady," Kozik said heartily. Donna just laughed at him.

"Koz, you can order pizza all by yourself, you know. Doesn't take a woman to pick up the phone." Kozik had the smarts to look admonished for his words, but continued eating anyway.

Dona made her way down the hallway and noticed that the guest room door was closed. She knocked timidly and opened the door. Tara was strewn over the middle of the bed with a pillow attached to her face. Donna didn't want to wake her, but needed to give her the chance to get something to eat.

"Tara, honey, I'm sorry to wake you up, but are you hungry? Opie and I brought home some pizza. Kozik and Chibs are eating here tonight too."

Donna laughed to herself when Tara mumbled something unintelligible. Donna closed the door quietly and went back into the kitchen. When she walked in she had to smile at the way Jax was playing with Ellie. He was being more cautious then she's ever seen him. By her best guess, she'd say he was taking the practicing thing more seriously now.

Everyone sat around and ate and talked for a few hours before Chibs and Kozik excused themselves to go back to the clubhouse around 10.

"You coming Jackie Boy?"

"Nah, I'm going to crash here tonight. It's closer to the hospital, just incase anything happens throughout the night."

"Closer to the hospital, right." Kozik said with a knowing smile on his face. He knew that the reason Jax would be staying with Opie was because of a certain nurse that was fast asleep in the only other bedroom in the house. He felt a twinge of jealously over Jax's affection for Tara, but he knew that would soon pass.

"Shut up and get out you two." Donna said, pushing them towards the door.

"Anything changes Jackie Boy and you call me immediately. Any time, got it?" Chibs said sternly.

Jax nodded at the two before they made their way out.

"I think I'm going to call it a night too guys, I want to get up and go straight to the hospital in the morning to be with Abel." Jax got up and headed for the guest room.

"Hey uh Jax, where you going? The couch is free tonight, ya know." Donna said.

"Yeah, I know. But I much prefer the floor over that piece of shit couch."

Donna and Opie laughed, knowing the real reason he was sleeping in the guest room.

Jax went as quietly as he could into the guest room. Tara had moved over to one side and Jax he could chance it by laying on the other side. He got his own set of blankets so Tara realized he just meant to sleep there.

As he laid there, the last two days ran through his head. It was just one surprise after another. Tara's return, the revelation about Kyle, and everything with Abel. He just couldn't keep everything straight in his mind. The one constant seemed to be Tara. She was present in everything he did and wanted to do.

Opie had confronted him about how he had acted towards Tara, both last night and this morning. Opie was worried that with everything going on, it'd be too much for Tara to handle after just getting back to town. Jax tried to explain to Opie that his intentions with Tara were good and he still felt the same way he did 5 years ago. He also had to explain to Opie how he would never intentionally hurt her. Opie loved Tara like a sister, and Jax may be his best friend, but hurting Tara was unacceptable.

Through his musings, Jax heard Tara begin to mutter in her sleep. It wasn't full words or sentences, but she sounded extremely stressed and scared.

"No, please," she said as she began to toss and turn. Jax decided to wake her up when her leg came into close contact with a certain part of his anatomy.

"Tara, darlin'. It's time to wake up." Jax trying to wake her only made her thrash more.

"Please, no. Help. Jax, help me." Jax's heart started hammering in his chest when he realized she was dreaming of him. From the sounds he wasn't the cause of the nightmare, but he was her savior. Jax sat up straight and gripped her shoulders.

"Tara. Please get up." with a few not so gentle shoves in the shoulder, Tara shot up in bed. Her hair was matted to her face and she had tear stains on her face. Jax laid a hand on her shoulder and she flinched, but turned towards him.

"Jax?" Tara asked, confused.

"Yeah, it's me. You had a bad dream. You were yelling and thrashing in your sleep."

"Oh, Jax."

Tara surprised both of them by launching herself at him. Her frame fit perfectly into Jax's arms, just the way they always had. Apparently cosmetic changes didn't change the way they fit together so well. Tara had thrown her arms around his neck and was holding on for dear life. Jax was rocking her body along with his. HIs hands were cupping her head and face, trying to soothe away her tears. Tara moved so her chest was flush with Jax's, and her legs were wrapped securely around his body.

Even though Jax didn't want it to happen, his body responded to the contact his body had with Tara's. She had very skimpy pajamas on and they were thin. Jax's body was definitely responding to all the stimuli he was receiving right now.

Tara had stopped shaking, but her arms never left Jax's neck.

"Tara" Jax called softly, and Tara turned her head to face him. She hadn't expected Jax's face to be so close to hers when she turned. When she did, her lips made contact with Jax's and it sent her body into flames. Jax didn't react right away, but Tara did. She clung to him even more and kissed him reverently. In Jax's mind he knew that he shouldn't be doing this, but he didn't want to stop. Kissing Tara had been something he only had once, and has craved it every day since.

The kiss picked up pace and Jax situated himself so he could lay Tara down, with him hovering over her. She kept her legs wrapped around his midsection through the whole transition. Jax's mind was reeling. He shouldn't be doing this, there was so much going on. He didn't know if he could take the ramifications of a sexual relationship right now. Especially not with Tara, of whom he was pretty sure he was in love with.

But when Tara moaned his name into his mouth, all resolve he had to stop was shattered into a million pieces. Jax slid his hand under Tara's camisole, to take it off, when she pulled away a little.

"Don't. You're beautiful." As soon as Jax said those words, the same words he had uttered in the same situation five years ago, Tara stilled completely. Almost as if she'd just realized her surroundings, she gasped.

"Jax, I'm so sorry." Jax looked at her dumbfounded.

"Why are you apologizing to me, Tara?"

" I shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry. I didn't really think about it, I just did it." Tara was still laying underneath of him, and made attempt to move.

"I thought a lot about it, and I still did it." He smiled at her, trying to ease the situation.

"How about we lay down, and we can talk about some stuff before things get too far?" Tara asked.

Jax looked at Tara. Did he want to go down this rabbit hole? The last relationship he was in ended in a drug addict almost killing his child. But Tara was nothing like Wendy. She was great and would be a good addition to this fucked up family Jax has surrounding himself. The only question he had for himself: Would he let her in, or shut her out like he always has?

**A/N: Well? Is Jax going to let her in without fighting her every step of the way!? :) Thanks to everyone who reviews, you guys are amazing. I appreciate the feedback you give me and use it while writing later chapters.**


	5. Wendy's case

**A/N: So, I have musical inspiration for this chapter. Pompeii by Bastille. If you don't know this song, look it up, it's AMAZING! If you know the songs, you'll recognize the lyrics as some lines in the chapter. Hope everyone enjoyed the last chapter. Readership has fallen slightly, but that's okay because I have faithful viewers! So with that said I'd like to thank patto85, xshynenstarx, and of course elbeewoods! You're all awesome :)**

_Jax looked at Tara. Did he want to go down this rabbit hole? The last relationship he was in ended in a drug addict almost killing his child. But Tara was nothing like Wendy. She was great and would be a good addition to this fucked up family Jax has surrounding himself. The only question he had for himself: Would he let her in, or shut her out like he always has?_

Jax laid there, staring at the woman in front of him. This woman had the capability of destroying him so easily that it scared him. He wanted to talk to her, wanted to let her in, but he didn't know if he was capable of it. There was so much riding on him that he just wanted to crawl in a corner and wait for it all to be over.

But then he thought of losing Tara again. And it hurt. It hurt more then he realized. He thought of his life without her for the last five years. And they were filled with pain and faceless women. Women that he used just to try to fill the void of Tara being gone. He'd never told her five years ago how he felt about her, because he didn't want to get rejected. His love and affection for this woman ran so deep, it was an integral part of his life. But now, now things were different. He was a completely different person, and she definitely was too. She had gone through so much, he wasn't sure that'd she would be able to trust a man again. He knew from experience with his mom and Clay that once that trust is gone, it's very hard to get back.

"Jax, you alright?" Tara brought him out of his musings.

"Yeah, just thinking about some stuff." He said evasively.

"Anything you want to talk about?"

Now was his chance, his chance to tell her, well anything. He could start opening up his heart. There is no way he would tell her all of it outright. But he could at least start building bridges that could someday lead to more with her. He just had to allow himself to open his heart to her. His damaged, broken, dilapidated heart.

He took a deep breath and looked straight into her eyes.

"Yeah, actually. I was thinking about you."

Tara shied away and smiled. "What about me?"

"Just, how sorry I am for the last five years. And...well..." He paused and sat up straight. He pulled Tara up with him so they were sitting Indian style facing each other.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you how much your friendship meant to me. You weren't just an extension of Opie. You were in a class all of your own. I didn't show my appreciation for you when I should have. All those times you picked me up off the bathroom floor when I was too drunk to do it myself. I regret those times, Tara. Those moments are where we spent most of our time just me and you, and you were taking care of me. I just don't understand why you did it. You felt like we were only friends by association, but you still took care of me like it mattered to you." Tara sighed from beside him.

"It did matter to me, Jax. I loved those moments. In those moments I felt like I was doing something, like I _was_ someone. Yes, you made some shitty choices back in the day, but who didn't. I didn't want to see you hurt or in pain, even pain that was dumb and self inflicted. We were young, Jax, and dumb. But that didn't mean that I didn't care for you, even if I knew you didn't feel the same."

Now was his chance. He could at least clear the air about everything. He knew neither of them were ready for anything bigger, but that doesn't mean she can't know about how he feels. After everything she had done for him, he felt she deserved it.

"Tara, I'm going to tell you a little story. Do you want to hear a story? It's a great one." he said smiling slyly at her.

She nodded lethargically and laid back down. "I'd love for you to tell me a story, Mr. Teller."

Jax smirked at her comment and laid down, facing her, hands under his face.

"Once upon a time there was a Prince. He lived in an awesome town called Charming. He was Prince of Charming, and it fit him." Tara smacked him on the shoulder and laughed as he continued.

"He was best friends with the jester. And the jester was dating the...milk maid." Jax said, not being able to think of anything other then a wench.

"Oh, Donna will LOVE that!" Tara said heartily

"ANYWAY! The three of them played together and soon, a princess joined the group. See, she was best friends with the milk maid. The quartet was inseparable. They went to parties together and hung out with each other any chance they had. But the princess was unhappy. She was unhappy because people weren't always nice to her. But the prince, the jester, and the milkmaid were there for her faithfully. Through the years, the respect and gratitude that the prince felt for her grew. But he was too scared to tell her. He didn't want to drive a wedge between the group. The princess took the role of mother hen with them and never complained about anything that she had done or was asked for her. Everyone, especially the prince, respected her and were grateful for her. But one day, she left. She didn't tell anyone she was leaving. It destroyed the trio that was left to pick up the pieces. The prince of Charming believed that if he could have just been man enough to tell her that she was cared for, and she was wanted, then maybe the princess wouldn't have left. After many years, she returned. She was a whole new woman, and didn't need anyone to look after her or care of her. But the prince still wanted to. He wanted her to hear him out. Give it time, and let the old wounds heal so they could work on making new memories. Together."

Jax finally looked over at Tara, who appeared to be sleeping. Jax sighed and rolled over to his back. He stared at the ceiling, feeling like a fool for telling her how he felt. He wasn't sure how much of it he heard, but he didn't know if he could make himself vulnerable like that again. Tara sifted and laid her head on Jax's chest. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze.

"I hear you, Jax." she said softly, emotion leaking through her tone.

Jax smiled and let himself drift off to the sleep he so desperately needed.

-AHW-

The next morning Donna walked into the guest bedroom to find the two laying in the same position they had fallen asleep in. She smiled and backed out of the room.

"Hey, Op. Anything you want to tell me?" Donna asked happily.

"I love you?" He said, questioningly.

"No, dip shit. Tara and Jax are in bed, together." she smiled

"Whoa, go Jax!" Opie fist bumped Ellie, who was eating breakfast.

"Not like that, dirty bird. They are fully clothed! But this is quite the change from yesterday. I mean, just getting along has been a problem for them. No this, it's just weird I guess."

"It's not weird Donna, it's natural. I just know that Jax isn't ready for it yet with everything going on. We had a talk yesterday about it when I was in with him and Abel. I kind of not so politely said that best friend or not I'd kick his ass if he hurt Tara." he smiled shyly at his wife.

"Ah, look at big brother Opie. It's so cute." Donna said, pinching his cheek.

They were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Bet I know who that is, be right back." Donna said.

Opie was confused. They weren't expected anyone and it was only 7 in the morning, who the hell was up this early. He was only up because Donna was very adamant that if she had to wake up with the baby, then he did too. He used to get mad about it, but Donna was sick for a few days and he took primary care for Ellie. After those three days, he had a whole new appreciation for what Donna does on a daily basis.

"Knew it." Donna said. She walked back into the room trailed by Kozik.

"Morning, guys." He walked by Ellie and patted her head before sitting across from Opie at the table.

"What are you doing here so early man?" Opie asked him.

"Chibs and I wanted to see Jax. We hoped that he would let us meet baby Teller today. Chibs is pretty excited about the whole thing, you'd think it was his kid or something."

"Well, you know that since JT died, Chibs has been the role model that Jax needed. Clay was never able to fill those shoes. Too much hate in that old mans heart for it." Opie said seriously. He looked around the room, just now noticing that Chibs was missing.

"Didn't you say Chibs was with you?" Opie asked him.

As soon as the words left his mouth, they heard Chibs, presumably in the guest room.

"Way to go Jackie Boy!" He yelled obnoxiously.

The three left the kitchen and went to the guest room where Jax and Tara were still laying in bed. Jax just laughed, but Tara looked mortified to be caught in that position with so many people watching.

"Go away, Chibs. It's not what it looks like." Tara said.

"Doc, it looks like Jax weaseled his way into your bed in the middle of the night." he said sarcastically. Tara smiled.

"Then it's exactly what it looks like." She laughed as she got out of bed and went to the bathroom.

"Before you ask any questions, no nothing happened, no we're not dating, and no you can't smell my fingers."

"Um, what?" Donna asked, a mix between disgusted and confused.

"Brother, that was Tig that asked. And trust me, he's the only one that would want to fucking know shit like that." Chibs replied back.

"Okay, ew." Donna said, retreating back to the kitchen.

"Jax, everything alright." Opie asked, thinking back to the conversation from yesterday.

"Yeah, Op. Nothin' happened. At least nothing you have to beat my ass for, promise you that. We're good." And in his heart, he believed it to be true.

-AHW-

After Tara was dressed and ready for the day, Donna explained that she would be taking Ellie to daycare and going to work.

"Oh, I didn't realized that you had a job. Wow, that sounded crass, huh?" Tara said, mentally smacking herself on the head.

"No, it's alright. I don't really work I guess. I volunteer at the homeless shelter three days a week. I haven't worked since Opie got out of prison. He does pretty well with the club, and all the bills get paid for. As long as I don't think too hard about how he earns the money, everything is fine." Donna said dismissively.

Tara knew what Donna meant, and didn't press the issue any.

"Is that something I could do with you sometime?" Tara asked. She thought it would be good for her to get out and help other people. She was a nurse, but she got paid to do that. It would make her feel better if she were doing it out of the kindness of her heart, not for a paycheck.

"Yeah, do you want to come with me today?"

"I can't today, I have to go to the bank and finalize things with the house. We close in 3 days. But I will go with you sometime."

"Alright, thanks Tara." Donna got Ellie ready and left for the day.

Tara was sitting at the table reading the newspaper when the guys walked in.

"Hey, you just missed Donna. She just left for the shelter. I think it's awesome that she does that."

"Yeah, that woman is a saint, Op. How did you get so lucky?" Kozik asked.

"I got a big dick." Opie quipped back, without missing a beat. Tara couldn't help the laughter that emitted from her mouth. She didn't want to laugh, but she knew this was an on going joke between Opie and Jax.

"Whatever man, let's not go there, alright."

"Jealous?" Opie asked. Jax just laughed and walked out of the room.

-AHW-

Jax emerged from the back room about half an hour later. Freshly showered and changed.

"What are your plans for today, Tara?" Jax asked her.

"Well, I have to go to the bank in about half hour to sign some paperwork before I can close on the house, and them I'm not sure. I need to go shopping for some things to fill the house with. Right now I only have what I left Chicago with. That means I have my clothes, and some personal items. No furniture, no bed, nothing."

"Okay, well how about this. I'll go to the bank with you and when you're done there we can go shopping together. I have some stuff I still need to purchase for my house to get done. And then we can go see Abel."

"Jax, you don't have to do that. I can do it all by myself."

"Come on, Tara. I can't go see Abel for another three hours. Are you going to make me spend that time by myself?" He asked, flashing his steely blue eyes at her.

"I'll spend time with you, love." Chibs said as he walked into the room. He draped his arms over Jax's shoulders and smiled at him while batting his eye lashes.

"Get the fuck off me Scotty. I don't want to spend time with you." Tara laughed when Chibs clutched his hands over his heart and feigned pain.

"Alright, we'll go. Plus, I've been wanting to take a bike ride for awhile." She said, remembering all the times she was stuck on the back of his bike.

"YES! That's my girl." Jax said, walking back to get the extra helmet for her.

When Jax vacated the room, Chibs turned his attention to Tara.

"How you holdin' up, Doc?" he asked her seriously.

"I'm alright. It's going to be an adjustment, but things will settle down. I'm excited to just move on from things and settle down here in Charming. It's always been my home, I just lost it for a while. Sometimes I close my eyes and it almost feels like nothings changed at all." She said, closing her eyes.

"You're a good girl. You'll be a fine addition to this family." Chibs said patting her shoulder as he walked away.

Tara loved that everyone was making her feel so at home with everything. Jax walked in the room then, carrying the helmet.

"Recognize this?" he asked her, holding it out.

"Oh my god. Is that the one you got me when I almost fell off the back of your bike senior year?" she asked him incredulously.

"The one and only." he placed it on her head and buckled the bottom. "Look at that, still fits." He patted the top of it and looked into Tara's eyes. "It's always been a good fit."

-AHW-

After they were done at the bank, Jax asked if they could make a pit stop by the garage to talk to Gemma for a moment. Tara nodded, knowing there wasn't much of a choice, they were on Jax's bike after all.

They pulled up to Teller Morrow, and Gemma exited the office as soon as she saw his motorcycle. She walked up to the bike before Jax or Tara had the chance to get off.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, concerned.

"Yeah, Ma. Everything is fine. I just needed to talk to you about the house renovations."

"Jesus Jackson, you could have called. Why aren't you at the hospital?"

"I can't for another two hours. This is the best time for him to get his care; I'll be able to go at 10 a.m. I'll call you when you're able to see him too."

Gemma looked appeased by his answer, and ushered them into her office. Gemma sat down behind her desk and Jax took the seat across from her. Tara wasn't sure where to go, so she awkwardly stood in the door way, waiting for directions. She was still unsure about how to act around Gemma. She had only met her a couple of times, but there was always something weird there. Gemma's face was always hard when Tara was around, or maybe that's just how Gemma was. Either way, Tara wasn't stepping on her toes today.

"Sit down, Tara. You're making me nervous, like you're going to bolt through that door any second." Jax said, motioning to the chair she was standing next to. Tara laughed nervously and sat down in the chair.

"Alright, now what do you want to know about the house?" Gemma asked, clearly calmed down by this point.

"I need to know what furniture is left to buy. Tara is getting her house in three days and needs to go buy furniture. I figured since she's going, I'll get what I need for my house." Jax explained.

"You don't have any furniture?" Gemma asked her. Tara shook her head. "Nothing at all?" Again, Tara nodded her head.

"Jesus, I'm guessing this was an impromptu trip back home you made, huh?" Jax and Tara realized at the same time that Clay hadn't filled Gemma in on the details surrounding Tara's departure from Charming five years ago, or her return now.

"She just wanted a change of scenery, that's all." Tara shot Jax a grateful smile and bowed her head slightly.

She was still constantly amazed about how Jax was treating her. Neither one of them had mentioned the night before, with Jax's imaginative telling of his story, but they both understood it would take some time. Tara didn't notice that while her head was bowed, that Jax was staring intently at her. But Gemma did.

"Alright, here's a list of what you will be needing. It won't be much because a lot of your stuff could be re upholstered and made like new. One problem was, apparently when Wendy was staying with you, she had a drawer in the kitchen that she used to hide her stash, and a gun in. I was over taking some cabinets and stuff out, when I took the drawer out it rattled. After I found that, I went to ask Wendy about it, and saw her lying on the floor in her kitchen with the tourniquet still on her arm. It was bad Jax. If she weren't pregnant I would have left her there to die." Gemma was seething with anger.

Jax didn't like the idea of her having that in his house, but he was too blinded by his anger about Abel to even be mad about that anymore.

"Yeah, well we don't have to worry about that anymore. She's gone, or at least will be as soon as her druggie ass gets done detoxing enough for them to release her." Jax was interrupted from what he was saying when his phone rang. The caller ID said it was from St. Thomas Hospital.

"This is Ms. Knowles," she answered.

"Tara, this is Margaret Murphy. How are you doing today?" Margaret sounded nervous and a little tired.

"I'm fine Margaret, but I have to ask. Is everything okay there?"

Jax and Gemma were both intently listening to the conversation, knowing that Tara was speaking with someone from the hospital.

"I hate to do this to you, Tara; but is there any way you could come in for a few hours again today? We had two more babies born and put into our unit last night. All you would have to do is be the nurse for one child, until things get settled down. You'd be in with Abel Teller." Tara smiled at the thought of spending all day with the baby, and Jax of course.

"Yeah, I'm actually with his dad right now and don't have my vehicle. Can Jax come a couple of hours early? If not I'll be there in about 45 minutes." Jax was up and putting on his helmet. He wasn't sure what was going on, but knew there was a chance he was going to see his son.

"Bring Mr. Teller. That is fine. If anyone says anything, I okayed it."

"Alright, I'll be right there Margaret." Tara said before she hung up the phone.

"What's going on?" Gemma asked.

"There had two more emergencies come in through the neonatal unit last night. They need me to go in and basically be Abel's nurse for a few hours. Jax, you can come now if you want?" Tara asked knowing he would jump at the chance to go.

"Yeah, let's go," Jax said running through the door. Didn't even wait and say goodbye to his mother before he jet out of her office.

"Call me when I can come out!" Gemma yelled at the duo.

-AHW-

Tara went into the lounge and got some scrubs to change into. She ran into Dr. Nameed as he was exiting the lounge.

"Ah, good morning Ms. Knowles. I take it you're here to fill in for a bit?"

Tara smiled at him. "Yeah, I'm glad too. I can get a feel for it before I actually jump in and start working my regular long shifts. How's Abel Teller doing?"

This time is was Dr. Nameed's turn to smile. "That is one strong kid they've got there. He has improved just since getting out of surgery yesterday. It's remarkable that our will to survive starts so early in life." He exited the office after giving Tara one more content smile.

Tara felt a kinship with Abel. Both fighting to survive something that was out of their control. Abel was definitely the one who had more of a fight on his hands then Tara, but she still loved that little boy's will all the same.

After she had changed, she stopped by the nurses office to get Abel's chart, and headed to his room. She saw a woman standing in Abel's room. Before she had the chance to enter, Jax walked up behind her carrying two cups of coffee.

"Figured you might need this today." He said and kissed her on the forehead.

"Jax, who's that woman in Abel's room?" Jax looked through the door and all the color drained from his face. He threw the door open with much more force than necessary.

"Get the fuck out of my son's room, right now. You have no right to be here." Jax yelled at the woman.

"Jax, I just wanted to see him. That's all." The woman responded, backing up slightly away from Jax.

"No, you gave that right up remember? You didn't want my son. You pushed him aside like a piece of trash, and I won't have you coming in here thinking you can see him just because he won't remember. Because you know what Wendy, I'll remember. I'll always remember." Jax was getting increasingly angry, but was also feeling sad for his child.

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to leave," Tara said to Wendy.

"But, I'm his mother." Wendy pled with Tara.

Tara made a note to look over the chart. She then looked up to Jax and then over to Wendy.

"I'm sorry, but you're not listed. It has father as Jackson Teller and mother as none." Tara wanted to yell and scream at her. But knew that her job was a priority and she couldn't lose her temper.

Wendy looked down at Abel in his small box and up to Jax. She walked away, and didn't look back until she got to the door.

"I'll be here for a few more days. You should really come and talk to me. There is a lot I want to say to you before it's too late." Wendy pled with Jax. But Jax had no interest in listening to her.

"It's already too late."

After Wendy left the room, Jax paced around for nearly twenty minutes.

"Jax, are you alright?"

"No, but I will be when she's gone. I hate her so much Tara, you have no idea." Jax said, still pacing.

"You're right Jax. I don't know how much you hate her. But I'm still sorry for what you are going through. She won't be allowed in here again. After that stunt, they probably won't let her out of her room again." As soon as Wendy had walked out the door, Tara called hospital security to let them know the situation. They promised they wouldn't let it happen again.

A couple of hours passed by and Tara had spent time back and forth between Abel's room, the nurse's station, and meeting with various doctors to get updates for her charts. She passed by the waiting room and saw Chibs and Kozik sitting there.

"Hey guys. How long have you been here?"

"Jax text us about half an hour ago and told us what happened with that basket case ex of his. Figured we didn't have anything better to do so we came and sat here. Plus, I want to see the baby." The smile that lit up his face made Tara happy.

"Well, it's visiting hours, so how about you come with me?" Chibs got straight up and pat Kozik on the back.

"Be back soon, brotha."

Tara walked with Chibs hot on her heels. When she got to Abel's room, Jax was standing above Abel with his hand flush to the top of Abel's incubator. He seemed as though he was willing himself to be able to hold his son.

"Hey Jax, Abel's got a visitor." Tara ushered Chibs into the room.

"Jesus Christ Jackie Boy. He's so small." Chibs was amazed at the size of the small baby laying in front of him. He knew he'd be small, but he had no idea just how small a preemie baby could be.

"He's okay though, right Doc?" Chibs asked Tara.

"He's doing better. Just got the results from the latest set of tests. Was on my way to tell Jax when I saw you sitting in the waiting room."

"What'd the tests say Tara?" Jax asked impatiently.

"His body temperature is elevating sooner than anticipated. His vitals are becoming more stable. They were stable yesterday, just erratic at times. They've leveled out quite nicely and he's improving a lot. There's still a long road ahead for him, but this is definitely a step in the right direction."

Jax got up and hugged Tara, thanking her profusely.

"I didn't do anything but get the results Jax. You're boy is the one with the explicable will to live."

Jax smiled and looked down at Abel.

"It's pretty amazing either way Doc." Chibs said from beside them.

Chibs stayed and visited for about half an hour before he left and sent Kozik in. Again, Kozik was amazed about how small he was. They sat and talked about Abel and Jax asked if he'd be willing to help out on the house. Jax knew most of his time would be spent here at the hospital, and didn't want the renovations to be pushed back any farther.

"Yeah man, no problem. Chibs will help too. I'm sure Gem already has the prospect and others out there. Just let me know what you need."

Jax figured it was time to Call his mother so he made sure to clear out Chibs and Kozik. Neither of them wanted to catch the wrath of Gemma. She wanted to be the first one other than Jax to see Abel. But Jax didn't want the drama that Gemma brings with her wherever she goes. His mother means well, but she's a bitch.

It only took Gemma ten minutes to get there from the time Jax called her. Jax and Tara were both sitting on the chair when Gemma walked in. Jax sat in the base of the chair, while Tara was perched on one of the arms. Tara was talking and looking at Abel, but Jax was looking at her. This is the second time today she'd found them in that same position.

"Hey Jax." She nodded to him and walked over to Abel.

"Oh my little man. Look how small you are." Gemma said in a loving tone. It wasn't very often Jax heard such love and admiration in her voice, but he knew a baby, her grandchild, would bring that out in her.

Gemma stayed for nearly two hours. Tara came and went, but Jax never left the room. Tara had just been in a meeting with Margaret Murphy and David Hale, who was deputy police chief.

They had a meeting about pending charges against Wendy. The hospital filed a report about the state Wendy was in when she entered the emergency room.

"Jax, Gemma. I have something I need to talk to you about. It's a sensitive topic so I need your permission to tell you in front of your mother." Tara explained.

Tara knew Jax wouldn't have a problem with this, but the HIPA law mandates that she tell him that.

"Yeah, you can tell me with her here. What's going on?"

"Well first. I want to start by saying that the paternity test came back. He's your son." Tara smiled at Jax.

"No shit Tara. I knew that." Jax still breathed a sigh of relief. He knew if Wendy could hide her drug addiction, she could cheat on him.

"Okay. Now the next thing; I just met with Margaret Murphy, Chief of Medicine, and David Hale. A complaint was filed against Wendy. The hospital is mandated to file a report when someone comes in in that condition. Being as she was pregnant, it makes it worse. Wendy has two different charges pending against her right now." Tara stopped to catch her breath and collect her thoughts.

"What kind of charges?"

"Because the amount of narcotics was lethal in her blood stream, she's looking at one count of child endangerment and one count of attempted manslaughter."

Jax sat silent, thinking about what Tara had said. Wendy wouldn't get away with what she had done to his son. Internally, it made him a little happy.

"Serves her right. I have half a mind to go and finish her off." Gemma said.

She went to the door and turned to wink at Tara and Jax.

Tara shivered in response, watching her go.


	6. Sticking to the Plan

**A/N: Hello all! So it's been a long time so if anyone is still reading then that's awesome. It's been a hectic year, but I'm hoping to stay on track. Here is the next chapter! :) :) I listened to Bad Blood by Bastille while writing this chapter. LOOOVE IT!**

With Gemma out of the room, Tara turns to Jax.

"She's not really going to kill her is she?"

Jax chuckles and shakes his head. " I don't know Darlin', but I wouldn't put it past my mother."

Tara took a deep breath and decided she didn't want to think anymore of it. Before she could change the subject, Jax brought her out of her thoughts.

"So what do the charges against Wendy look like."

"Well, the child endangerment one alone would probably be considered a misdemeanor, but added with the attempted manslaughter and she's looking at maybe four years in prison. But attempted manslaughter is something that is hard to sentence. I think that since it's a child who is completely helpless in this situation, people might be more sympathetic to that."

Jax looked at her, confused. "How is it that you know so much about this?"

Tara's snort caught Jax off guard. "Honey, you have to remember I came from Chicago. This is shit that we see unfortunately way too much of. Witnessing what I have, I'd say that she has a 50/50 shot of being sentenced."

Jax and Tara talked a little more about Wendy's case, when they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Hey guys! Can we come in and see the baby?" Donna's voice came from the doorway.

"Donna, Op, hey. Yeah I wanted to talk to you guys about something anyway. Tara, can they be in here at the same time?" Jax asked, a hint of teasing in his voice.

"You probably have ten minutes, and then someone needs to leave. I'll stall one of the other nurses for ya." With that, she made a quick exit out of the room.

Donna hugged Jax and then walked over to Abel's incubator.

"My god. Opie said he was small, but I had no idea. Is he okay?"

Jax grinned down at her. "Doc said he's getting stronger by the hour."

Getting right down to business, Opie asked Jax what he needed to talk to them about.

"Well there's a couple things really. Firstly I was wondering if you guys would be willing to help me get the house done. I don't know when the little man will be home, and I need it to be done when he's ready. I'm not making him wait because his mother was a junkie whore."

"Absolutely. I only volunteer three days a week and even that is only for half days. I'll still do that and I'll take the kids with me to the house to finish stuff up. Opie here doesn't have a choice, we're in."

Both Jax and Opie looked at Donna with shocked faces. Lately Donna has been a little leery about making decisions when it involved Opie, but this was important and she was putting her foot down.

"Well, that seems settled," Jax laughed. "The other thing is I wanted to fill you guys in on Wendy, before anyone else found out. Hale came and met with Tara and Ms. Murphy. It seems that the good ol' police department is going to do something right. They are charging Wendy with endangerment and attempted manslaughter."

"Manslaughter?! That should be homicide! Manslaughter is doing something that could be unintentional. That bitch knew she could kill her baby and she didn't care!" Again, the men were shocked by Donna.

"I know sweetheart, but at least it's something. I just want to know that something is going to happen from the way she treated my son. I had no idea she started using again and-" before Jax could finish, alarms starting going off in Abel's room.

Jax stood around his incubator and frantically moved his hands around, as if he could do something to help. Tara rushed in and moved out Opie and Donna before other staff saw them. She tried to push Jax out, but he wouldn't budge. After a minute Dr. Nameed came in and they rushed Abel out of the room. After the room was clear, Jax just sat there dumbfounded. It took him a few minutes before he was able to move his feet into the waiting room. When he got there, he wasn't at all surprised to find Opie, Donna, Kozik, and Chibs still sitting there. As soon as they saw Jax, the were out of the chairs running for him.

"I don't know anything yet. They just rushed him out of the room."

The five of them sat there for half an hour before Gemma showed back up.

"Hey, who's in with the baby?" Seeing only the concerned faces of the group, Gemma immediately knew that something had happened. Jax explained the best he could, but knew that Gemma had more questions. Hell he had a ton of questions. While the group was sitting there waiting to hear any news, Gemma approached Jax with a very sensitive subject.

"Hey Jax, you know how my fundraiser is tomorrow?" Gemma asked.

"Yeah, Ma, we wouldn't miss it."

"Well I got a visit from someone and I need to talk to you about it. April Hobart asked me if you'd be willing to let Kyle come. His kid is playing a show during the fireworks and Kyle hasn't ever gotten to see him play. I told her it'd most likely not happen, but I wanted you to know."

The tension that enveloped the room was immediate and heavy. Gemma knew of the past with Kyle and Opie, so she anticipated this to happen.

"Gem, Donna can you guys go get us some drinks?" Jax asked, barely able to contain his rage.

Knowing she was being dismissed, Gemma put her hand out to Donna. "Sure thing. Come on Sweetheart."

After making sure Gemma wasn't in ear shot, Jax exploded and threw his fist into the wall he was closest to.

"God dammit! Why now? I want to rip that guys fucking throat out, but his timing sucks."

"Jax, it gives us the perfect opportunity to get justice for Tara." Kozik reasoned.

"No, Gemma would kill me if we retaliated during one of her functions, even if it were off site." Jax explained.

Opie spoke up, seeming to be the clear minded one of the group.

"How about we take it to the club? Tell them that all we want to do is send a message to him about what we know. We won't hurt him, just let him know what his fate is." The guys all nodded in agreement. Opie, Chibs, and Kozik stood up to make their exit.

"Jackie-Boy. You stay here and I'll have Clay set up chapel for when visiting hours are over, so you don't have to leave your little one. Op, can Donna stay here with him? I have a feeling if it's just him and Gemma, we'll be visiting the hospital for whole other reasons."

"Yeah man, not a problem. I'll go pick the kids up from daycare and they can hang out at the clubhouse til Donna gets back."

"Just tell Clay we have intel on Kyle, don't breathe a word about anything else until I get there."

"Alright brotha, see you tonight." They were all giving Jax hugs when Donna and Gemma returned with their drinks.

"Hey babe, I'm going to pick up the kids and take them back to the clubhouse. You mind staying here with Jax until visiting hours are over? We have some club business to take care of after that." Opie informed Donna.

"Yeah, no problem. See you tonight." Donna kissed his cheek before he walked away, leaving Chibs and Kozik to say their good-byes.

"I was planning on staying here for a while." Gemma stated, a little put out.

"Yeah, ma'am, we know. That's why Donna's here." Chibs winked, patted Kozik on the back, and the two made their exit as well.

"Asshole" Gemma muttered as she sat down next to Jax.

The three made small talk for nearly four hours about house renovations before Dr. Nameed came back out.

"Mr. Teller, I'm sorry for the wait. I hear you've been waiting quite anxiously."

Jax turned and glared at his mother. "Yeah, we have. I have already apologized to the receptionist about that. My mother doesn't do well with being kept in the dark about things."

"No need to apologize, I understand. The reason the machines went off is because Abel's blood pressure dropped. When investigating why this occured, we found that he has an arrhythmia in his heart. We ran some tests on your son that we weren't able to yesterday, and found out that your son has HCM - Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy."

"Yeah Doc, we know what that is." Gemma pulled at the top of her shirt to show her scar. "It's the family flaw."

"Well with his age, we can try to go in and repair it. We can't do anything until he is stabilized, but the second he is, we will go in and do the surgery. I'm hoping that it can be done tonight, even if it's the middle of the night. Nurse Knowles told me to let you know that she will be out shortly, but if surgery is scheduled she will be here with him so that he is not alone."

"Thanks Doc." Jax shook his hand and turned to the rest of the group.

"I knew I liked Tara." Gemma stated.

"Oh shut up Ma. I know you've had your reservations about her returning. You knew how I felt in high school and you thought I'd get my heart broken."

"Well you kind of did. She jumped ship five years ago and didn't tell you. You were tore up about it. She could have at least fucking called."

"Ma, shut up right now. You know NOTHING about what happened five years ago. Tara didn't break my heart, I did, by thinking that I hurt Tara when in reality someone else did. How about you make yourself useful and go tell the club what's going on. I'm going to wait for the heart breaker." Jax turned his back on his mother and sat down. Gemma stood there flabbergasted for just a moment before she turned around and left.

Jax sighed when Donna sat down next to him.

"I know Gemma doesn't hate Tara, but she holds a certain amount of animosity towards her for leaving. Gemma just doesn't understand, and if she did, then I know for certain that she'd change her tune about Tara." Jax admitted to Donna.

"Yes, but that isn't our story to tell Jax. Gemma shouldn't just assume she knows what's going on. I know she's the Matriarch for all intents and purposes, but she's still an old lady. We're not privy to everything that happens in the club, only things you guys want us to know about, or think we need to know. I used to hate it, then Opie and I tried an open honesty policy. Yeah, I shut that shit down after the first night. It's better for me not to know and live in sublime denial." Donna smiled, and Jax laughed.

It was only about another half hour before Tara came out.

"Tara, thank you for offering to stay with Abel during surgery. You don't know how much that means to me that you'd be willing to do that with him. Can I see him?"

Tara just shook her head, trying to hide her tears. "I'm sorry, but they are keeping him in the nursery where sound is limited. Which means that contact is also limited. You can see him through the window, but that's only for a minute, at most."

"Okay, let's head out, and stop and see my boy before we go."

The three headed to the window that peered into the nursery where Abel was being kept. Jax had to hold back tears seeing his son in a room, completely isolated and alone. Donna and Tara, however were openly crying. After a minute, they all walked away, without speaking a word to each other. Tara and Jax went to the clubhouse on his motorcycle, while Donna followed in her truck. Jax had offered to take Tara home, but Tara figured she'd rather be with Donna and the kids at the clubhouse then alone in the house.

Once they arrived at the clubhouse, Jax immediately went to the table. The rest of the guys were already convened there.

"Alright Jax, what's this intel you have on Kyle?" Clay asked, always right to the point.

"Gemma came to me when I was at the hospital with the kid. Opie, Chibs and Kozik were also there. April Hobart asked Gemma to talk to us about Kyle coming to the fundraiser tomorrow. Their boy plays in the band that Gemma has playing during the fireworks show. I think that this is the perfect opportunity. I wanted to just deny his coming here, but Op had a good idea." Jax nodded his head in Opie's direction, telling him to continue.

"Gemma would have our balls if we did anything that jeopardized her fundraiser. So I think that we should use this as the perfect opportunity to let him know that we are aware of what happened. Scare him a little and make sure he's knows his fate so he can come to terms with his life and the things that he has done." Opie did his best to stay emotionally detached. He didn't want the guys to know that it was killing him that Kyle was coming back and Opie couldn't touch him.

"If we do this guys, there has to be no violence. No blood shed what so ever." Clay informed the guys.

Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.

"Do we need to vote, or is it understood?" Everyone let out a resounding yay, and Clay adjourned the table.

Piney stood up to Jax and patted him on the shoulder. "Jax, just wanted to let you know that I'm hoping for the best for your boy. If you need anything, myself, and the club, are here for you son."

"Thanks old man. I appreciate it."

As Jax was exiting the room, Tara was talking on the phone while running around wildly trying to collect her things.

"Hey, what's going on?" Jax asked, concerned.

"That was Dr. Nameed. They don't want to wait anymore on Abel's surgery. He's stable, but just. They _can't _wait any longer Jax. I'm going there. I won't be able to assist, but I'll be there for whenever there's news. I'll call you with any updates as they come in!" she said as she hurried out the door._  
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Jax sat there dumbfounded. They hadn't even left the hospital an hour ago. What had changed since then? Jax wanted to fill in Tara on the whole situation with Kyle, but now he wouldn't get the chance until tomorrow.

-AHW-

Tara had been in the lounge for close to two hours before she heard any news. Things were progressing very well and if things stayed the way they are, then Abel would make it through. After getting the update, Tara decided to go and get something to eat. Not wanting hospital food, she went to the closest restaurant to the hospital. Knowing there was a fast food joint down the block, Tara took off in that direction on foot. After ordering her food to go, she decided to walk back to the hospital and eat in the lounge.

Halfway between the restaurant and the hospital, Tara heard footsteps behind her. She didn't think anything of it since it was a residential road, but she still picked her pace up, out of habit. When she was about 100 feet from the entrance of the hospital, someone grabbed her from behind and pulled her into the alley.

"Damn Tara, you're as gorgeous as ever."

If Tara had been afraid before, it was nothing compared to what she felt now. Knowing that is was Kyle who was behind her. She felt a sharp jab to the side of her head, then everything went black.

-AHW-

Back at the clubhouse, everyone was sitting around talking about their tasks for the fundraiser tomorrow. Opie would be doing the fireworks, which Donna found immensely amusing. Bobby would be doing an Elvis booth, Gemma would be handing out food, and the rest of the guys and old ladies would be in between caring for children, cooking, and security.

The atmosphere at the clubhouse felt lighthearted yet heavy at the same time. Jax had been waiting on word from Tara for nearly three hours, when he realized that his phone was dead.

"Hey Ma, you got a charger here? I just realized my phone was dead and I need it for when Tara calls about Abel."

"Yeah baby, there's an extra one behind the bar."

As Jax was walking to the bar to plug in his phone, the clubhouse phone rang. Chibs being the closest answered it.

"SAMCRO" he greeted.

"Hello, this is Margaret Murphy from St. Thomas. I was trying to reach Jackson Teller."

"What is it ma'am?" Chibs asked, concerned for Abel.

"Well, he needs to get here as soon as he can. Tara was injured outside the hospital and is in the emergency room. It's not-" Chibs cut her off letting her know they'd be right here.

"Jackie Boy, let's go we need to get to St. Thomas."

"Abel?" Jax questioned.

"No brotha, Tara." Jax didn't need to hear anymore. He ran out of the clubhouse, failing to notice that anyone who could ride was right behind him.

Entering the hospital, Jax was met by Margaret.

"Jax, thanks for getting here so fast. The doctors are finishing up with Tara and then you can go see her."

"What the hell happened?"

"She won't say. She went out to get food about an hour ago. The ambulance was bringing in a trauma when the lights shined on the back alley. Tara was laying in that alley. She had bags of food with her, so I'm guessing it was on the walk back that she was attacked. She wouldn't tell me anything, just demanded that you get down here."

"Alright, thanks."

Jax turned and most of SAMCRO was already convened in the waiting room. More time passed then Jax liked, and he was starting to grow impatient. Two hours after getting there, the doors to the E.R. opened and Tara stepped out. She had a bandage around her head and small superficial cuts on both her face and hands. There was also a small bruise forming on the left side of her face.

"Jesus Christ. What happened to you?" Jax asked putting his hands on Tara's shoulders. She flinched involuntarily and it hurt Jax to know that she was afraid of him.

"Can we go outside? I don't want to talk about it in here." Jax nodded and pulled Tara into his side.

"Opie, Donna, Chibs, can I see you guys outside for a minute?" Wordlessly they followed Jax and Tara outside.

Once they were outside, Donna enveloped Tara into a hug, letting Tara cry on her shoulder.

"Darlin' we need to know what happened to you."

"Kyle."

With one word, all three men saw red.

"What do you mean 'Kyle'. He isn't supposed to be in town." Opie asked.

"Well he is! I was walking back from getting food. I only left because I heard that things were going well with Abel's surgery. I wouldn't have left if I didn't know how he was-" Tara was becoming hysterical.

"Sweetheart, it's alright. You've done so much for him, and I am so thankful. You have to take care of yourself too. Now what happened when you were walking back?" Jax prodded her to continue.

"I heard footsteps behind me so I started walking alittle faster. Before I know it, I was being dragged into the alley. That's when I heard Kyle's voice. He told me I was as gorgeous as ever. Then he hit me in the head and everything went black for a few minutes. When I came to, I was sitting in the alley still and Kyle was looming over me. He told me that he'd be at the fundraiser tomorrow to see his kid play. He also asked if I'd told anyone about what happened and I denied it. He punched me in the face and said that he didn't believe me. I got up and attempted to fight back, stupid I know, but I am so sick of being a victim. I refuse to let Kyle have a hold over me anymore. When I got up, and slapped him, he pushed me down into the gravel and told me that he would see me tomorrow and if he thought I'd said anything to you guys, then he'd end me like he should have done five years ago."

Everyone was floored. Kyle had the balls to come into Charming and hurt Tara. He shouldn't have been into town until the fundraiser started tomorrow and he was to leave directly after it ended.

"That's not all Jax. When he was walking away he pulled his shirt off. He showed me the tattoo on his back and said that he may not be in the club anymore, but that tattoo still represented something within him. Something that he'd never let go of. He said if he still had his cut, it'd had the Men of Mayhem patch. He told me that patch meant that he's done horrible things to people and he wouldn't be afraid to do it to me too. I'm scared Jax."

The guys were now angrier then they had been. Not only did he assault and threaten Tara's life, but he also still bears the reaper tattoo. He was supposed to have that removed or blacked out. He is to have no affiliation with the club. Him having that tattoo means that he is using it for his own gain, and that's something that doesn't sit well with the club.

"Tara, you have _nothing_ to worry about, I promise you that. This club will protect you. Why don't you go back inside with Donna and get your things and we'll wait in the NICU for word on Abel. I'll send everyone else home, alright?"

"Yeah, okay."

Before they could make it inside, Chibs spoke up.

"Hey Doc, why do you have blood on the back of your shirt?"

Jax hadn't noticed it before, but in the light you could see blood on her shirt by her rib cage.

"I think he must have kicked me when I was unconscious because I have a fractured rib and there was a small piece of steel in the cut. The cut wasn't bad, none of them are, just together they all hurt really bad." Tara turned back around and walked into the hospital with Donna.

"Mother fucker." Jax swore under his breath.

"Aye. Jax, we need to do something about this." Chibs said.

"I know brotha, but what can we do? Unless we follow him home from the fundraiser, there isn't anything we can do but scare the little fucker."

"Then that's what we do. We stick to the plan, but I doubt he'll show his face." Opie admitted.

"Yeah, but there's a chance he'll think he scared Tara enough so that she wouldn't say anything. All I know is that one way or another, Kyle's tattoo gets covered tomorrow. That shit is not okay. I'll have to keep Tara by my side tomorrow, or with someone who has a cut. If he is able to get to her there, there is going to be nothing that stops me from putting a bullet into his head."

**A/N 2: Alright guys! There's chapter 6! I wanted to cut it off halfway, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I don't really like the cliff-hanger deal. This story has angst, but it's not going to be horrible drawn out angst. Tara isn't going to get kidnapped or beat up fifteen times. Once that loose end is tied up, this story becomes on of healing and prospering of relationships. Mostly based on Tara/Jax, Opie/Donna, and then the characters of Chibs and Kozik, only because I love them so much!**


	7. No Scrubs

**So this chapter is just a nice break from some hard times for our group. Some trips down memory lane and some laughs. Enjoy! **

Jax had managed to clear everyone out of the waiting room. He could only do that with the promise that he would fill everyone in later. The group that made up Abels waiting party consisted of Tara, Jax, Opie, Donna, Kozik, and Chibs. Tara could already tell that there was a deep bond forming within the group. Everyone sat in silence for the better part of an hour before Donna started laughing quietly to herself.

"What's so funny?" Opie asked her.

"Do you remember what we were talking about before Tara showed up at Jax's party?"

This made Opie and Jax laugh too.

"What we're you guys talking about?" Tara asked curiously.

"Donna had mentioned that she hadn't had that much fun since my 18th birthday party." Jax said, clearly remembering that night again.

"Oooh. Do I feel there's a classic group story that's about to be regaled?" Kozik asked.

"Tara you should start this off. You were the one that got the ball rolling after all." Opie said.

"Okay, fine. The night of his party Gemma and Clay were out of town so we decided to have the party at their house instead of the clubhouse. We knew there would be a club party, so this was kind of just a few friends and other people our age. I got pretty drunk and decided to add some new music into the mix. It had been a lot of rock music. I put in the recent Mariah Carey cd and decided to "serenade" Jax and Opie with the song Heartbreaker. "

" It was amazing, by the way." Jax cut in. "But it was what happened next that really iced the cake."

"Anyway! Donna thought it was hilarious so we decided to do our own little dance number. Donna changed the cd and before I know it, we're dancing on Gemmas dining room table belting out the lyrics to No Scrubs by TLC. Jax was torn between laughing and trying to get us down before our shoes did too much damage to the table." Tara used to be embarrassed by the story, now she found it hilarious.

"You know that Gemma is still pissed about that right? She always goes on about needing to get it refinished or replaced. I don't think she knows what happened though because she's never said it was caused by a couple drunk chicks giving a show." Chibs said, barely able to contain his laughter.

"Fuck no. Would you tell Gemma that someone damaged her property when you were two feet away? I tried to get them down but then gave up when I realized it was useless. They were having way too much fun. Plus, it was hot. " Jax threw a wink towards Tara.

Everyone was able to contain their laughter after a few minutes. Kozik requested to hear another story. He knew there was history within the group, and he figured this was a good distraction from worrying tirelessly about something they just had to wait out.

"Oh! I'll start this one. It's my favorite story to tell." Opie said excitedly. Jax knew immediately what he was talking about, but Tara had no clue.

"So it was November and it was the day before Taras 21st birthday. "

Tara groaned as she figured out what Opie wad going to tell the group.

"Jax and I convinced her we should go to a club in San Francisco. Tara is the youngest of us four, so we could all go out together, legally. Since its a long drive we decided that we'd go up during the day and stay for two days. Of course we took the bikes so that meant there was minimal luggage we could take. The fun really started when we had to break it to the girls they couldn't bring 5 outfits and three pairs of shoes. Once the bitch fits died down, we were able to hit the road. Donna bitched in my ear the whole way there about her ass hurting and never doing it again."

"I got the same shit from Tara on the way. She bitched about her shoes, then her ass. Just constantly alternating between the two. "

" Oh fuck off Jax. Finish up the damn story. I'm not telling this one. "

"Okay well we were in line to get into some hotshot club and the wait time was quite a while. Tara decided it'd be best if we pregame and drank while in line. Needless to say, by the time we got into the club Tara was completely shit faced. She walked in and immediately yelled out 'I'm 21 bitches!' which earned her cheers throughout the club."

Kozik and Chibs went from chuckling to all out laughing by this point.

"Oh it gets better brothers." Jax stated.

"Bullshit. It gets worse, so much worse." Tara defended. Donna had stayed quiet for the whole thing. Just laughing and waiting for her turn to speak up.

"Tara ends up getting free drinks for the whole night. Since she plastered before we even got in, she was heading to oblivion after more drinks. So at last call we decided to take off for the hotel, except we couldn't find Donna." Opie then paused and looked at his wife to continue.

"On my way back from the bathroom I noticed a juke box. The Dj had stopped playing an hour ago so I played some songs .

"You bitch! I knew that was you. You've denied it all this time! You're the reason for my shame!" Donna ignored her outburst and continued.

"When I got back to the table, the beginning chords of No Scrubs was playing." Donna paused for dramatic effect and let Kozik and Chibs settle down a bit. Jax was the one to continue the story.

"I'm trying to drag Tara out and the next thing I know she's up on the table dancing. In a club full of strangers in fucking San Francisco. I try to get her down but she was adamant that she was fine. She's about halfway through the song when she falls off the fucking table. I look down and see her shaking and think she's crying. Nope she's fucking laughing hysterically asking to do it again. We get her out of the club and no more then two feet out of the club she turns around and hugs me. "

" Aw that's sweet Jackie boy. You get her drunk to obtain her affection." Chibs jokes, still laughing at the girl he already considers family.

"Yeah it was sweet. Until the threw up down the front of my shirt. It was disgusting. Opie was useles, kept laughing while dragging a drunk Donna out. Tara was crying, apologized a thousand times, and then passed out in the middle of the sidewalk."

"Yeah, thanks for catching me by the way. " Tara laughed.

" What'd you expect? You'd just thrown up on me."

"We were able to make it back to the hotel without further incident. But ended up using one room of the two we booked. When Tara woke up in the morning she accused Jax of not being able to handle his liquor and throwing up on himself. " Opie said laughing.

Chibs and Kozik laughed until they couldn't breathe. Jax decided to throw her a bone, while also revealing something to the club.

" But the day did get better when you got your gifts. Do you remember what you got?"

A serene smile graced Taras face and she nodded.

"Opie gave me a coupon book of free riding lessons so I'd quit almost toppling over on your bike. Donna gave me a gift card to my favorite store, and you gave me a necklace." She instinctively felt the long chain she kept under her clothes. She hadn't taken this necklace off since she left Charming.

"Are you alright darlin? " Chibs asked her.

She pulled the necklace out from under her shirt to show them why she was clutching her chest.

Chibs gasped slightly when he saw the necklace.

" Is that the one Jax gave you?" he asked, though he already knew the answer.

"Yeah. I didn't wear it until I left Charming. I was afraid of what Kyle would do if he saw it. I haven't taken it off since I left. I keep it on me at all times."

Tara loved the necklace but she didn't realize the significance that it really held. Nestled in Taras hand was a black Diamond crow with a yellow diamond eye. She knew that the crow represented the club in a way, but didn't realize that it was a sign of an old lady. Jax had attempted to stake his claim on her before they had even been together on New year's eve.

Everyone else knew the significance though.

Chibs wad getting ready to pull Jax aside and ask him about it when the doctor came out to give them information on Abel.

"Mr. Teller, Abel made it through surgery. There were no complications and I couldn't be happier with how it turned out. "

The group collectively breathed a sigh of relief.

" Can I go back and see him now?" Jax asked.

"Unfortunately he won't be able to have visitors for at least 24 hours, maybe more. He's being kept in a sterile room under constant supervision. He could easily catch an infection and we're doing everything we can do avoid that. I'll have one of the nurses call with an update tomorrow and if anything changes I'll call you immediately."

Jax shook his hand and thanked him before saying his goodbyes to Kozik and Chibs and heading to Opies with Tara on the bike.

Once there, they say their good nights to Donna and Opie before heading to the spare room. They hadn't talked sleeping arrangements, but what they were doing worked just fine for them. Tara barely managed to get her shoes off before plopping in the bed and cuddling up to Jax's side.

"Goodnight." she mumbled tiredly.

Jax chuckled. "Goodnight. Thanks for keeping my necklace."

"mmm love it. My crow." Jaxs heart swelled with pride as he drifted off to sleep.

-AHW-

Since they didn't get in until almost 3 am, Gemmas 9 am wake up call came too soon. Tara heard the phone ring but Jax quieted it quickly and left the room. He came back in a short moment later. He gently nudged Tara and told her they had to be at the fair grounds in an hour to start setting up.

"You sure this is how you want to spend your promised day off?" Jax asked her.

"Definitely. Otherwise I'll spend the day here worrying about shit."

They talked for a few more minutes until they heard Donna call for breakfast.

"Hey Jax. Tomorrow morning we're getting up early and making them breakfast. They've done it for us twice now. " Jax didn't argue because he was pretty sure by her telling him and and by asking that she'd wake him up anyway.

They walked out and were greeted by a full table.

"You guys live here now too?" Jax asked Chibs and Kozik in a teasing manner.

"Only for two more days. Then we'll all follow you to Taras house." Chibs teased back.

They all shared a laugh and then started to discuss their long day. The fundraiser started at at noon and didn't end until after the fireworks at 9. They were headed out at 10 to start setting up.

Tara excused herself for a shower after breakfast. She enlisted Donna to help her change her bandage on her head with a smaller one and to help clean her cuts in her rib cage.

"Donna, I'm scared. What if Kyle does show up today?" Tara voiced her concerns to get best friend.

"Nothing is going to happen to you today. The whole club will be there and they will protect you. You're part of us now and we protect our own."

Donna takes a deep breath and looks Tara in the eye.

"You got away 5 years ago, but Jax won't let you get away again. He's in it all the way, he always has been."

Tara contemplated what Donna said for a minute before she spoke up.

"He had Wendy."

"Wendy was just a distraction. Talk to Jax, Tara. Ask him about the crow."

Taking a deep breath Tara knew she needed to tell Donna about the story Jax told her.

"last night Jax said if he'd been man enough to tell me that I was cared for and wanted, that maybe I wouldn't have left. He said that he still wanted to take care of me. He also said that he wanted to let old wounds heal so we can make more memories together." Tara was smiling, telling Donna about his story.

"Wow, Jax Teller is a big softy at heart. Who knew!"

"You should have heard him. Its almost like he was uncomfortable sharing his feelings so he used the prince/princess analogy. He called Opie the jester." Tara chuckled recalling.

"What'd he call me?" Donna asked out of curiousness.

In a fit of giggles, Tara was barely able to utter the words milk maid.

"Jackson Nathaniel Teller!" Donna screamed as she stormed off into the kitchen. Tara was hot on her heels laughing the whole time.

The men looked startled.

"Brotha, What'd you do?" Chibs asked.

"I don't know!" Jax replied throwing a bewildered look toward Opie.

"THE MILK MAID?! " she screamed at him, punching his shoulder.

Tara laughed uncontrollably, while Kozik, Chibs, and Opie sat there confused.

Jax glanced behind Donna to Tara.

" Fucking traitor." he said to her, but smiling all the same. He figured the best way to handle it was by making another joke.

"Well I could have called you the town wench." This earned a laugh from Tara and Donna, an eye roll from Kozik and Chibs, and a slap to the back of the head by Opie.

"Dude, did you just call my wife a whore?!" At that, everyone laughed.

It was a nice start to the day, and everyone was hoping that the mood could carry over to the rest of it.


	8. Bounce Houses and Polyester Suits

**Again! A super special thanks to Elbeewoods who still believes in me and my story! :-) **

The group managed to get to the fundraiser and only be 10 minutes late. Gemma however pounced on them as soon as they walked out.

"You're late." Gemma points out.

"Ma, it's only ten minutes. Cut us some slack. We were at the hospital until almost three waiting on word about Abel."

Gemma face softened. "I'm glad he's going to be okay. That's a strong little man."

Gemma sent everyone off to do a task and asked Tara to stay with her. Tara looked to Jax and he nodded his head. He leaned over and whispered in her ear.

" I'll be close."

When they were alone Gemma asks Tara what is going on with her. Tara isn't sure how to answer so she deflects and tells Gemma she should talk to Jax about it.

"Honey do you know who did this to you?"

Tara gives up on talking to Gemma and backs away from her.

"Please Gemma, just ask Jax."

Tara walked away to help Bobby set up the Elvis stand. They worked in companionable silence for a half hour before Bobby spoke up.

"So, I hear you got a nice birthday gift from Jax a few years ago." Bobby had talked to Chibs about the necklace when he showed up this morning. Bobby was surprised, because Jax had never shown interest in anyone other than a crow eater.

Tara gave a demure smile while lifting the necklace out from under her shirt.

"Yeah. I keep it with me all the time. I feel like sometimes my strength comes from this necklace alone."

"Well, I think that's a beautiful necklace, and a nice thing for Jax to give you." Noticing the look in her eyes when she thought of Jax and the necklace, Bobby realized that Tara would be a good fit. She seems like she'd be able to center him, and keep him level headed when he needed to be.

The rest of the time Bobby spent with Tara was filled with him asking questions about Abel and his long road to recovery.

-AHW-

On the other side of the field, Jax and Chibs were sitting on a picnic table smoking. The necklace seemed to be the hot topic of the day.

"So Jackie Boy, about the necklace." Chibs asks innocently.

Jax took a deep breath, arranging his thoughts before he replied.

"What do you want me to say? I fell in love with her in high school, and it just escalated from there. I knew she was too good for me, so I kept her at arms length. She put off college for a few years to stay and help out her old man. I didn't want to get my heart broken so we stayed friends, nothing more. Around her 21st birthday I decided I'd had enough of staying away from her, and enough using a crow eater as a distraction. I bought her the necklace, but didn't tell her what it meant."

Chibs contemplated everything that Jax had told him, but knew there had to be more.

"That all Jax? Is there more history between you two? Or is she just the love that got away?"

"Brotha, if I tell you this, you can't call me a pussy. I need to tell someone other then Opie, because he's known everything from the beginning."

"I'm not here to judge you Jackie Boy. I can be serious ya know. I have a feeling you feel about her the way I still feel about Kerrianne."

"Okay, the night of the Nevada run on New Years Eve 2002, I came back and Tara was passed out in my bed. We talked for a while and before I know it, I'm kissing her. Things escalated and we ended up sleeping together. It was different though. I never felt such intensity before, Chibs. Sex was always just a means of release, but this was not. It's almost as if the whole world got turned, and all there was was her and I. Neither of us mentioned it after that. Not that I didn't' want to, but I didn't know how to. Then one day I heard her telling Donna things about how it wasn't fair that someone was using her for their own enjoyment. THen she told her how she wished she could go back and make it so things never happened. I thought she was talking about me because not even two days later, she was gone. Packed her bags and left Charming." Jax couldn't hold back the emotion in his voice when he spoke of her leaving.

"I'm assuming now you know she was talking about Kyle and not you?" Chibs questioned.

Jax let out a dark chuckle. "Yeah, but after she left, I didn't know so I had a bunch of guilt. I felt like I had taken advantage of her and ruined our friendship; and with that, the potential for more."

They sat silently after that, contemplating all the information that had come out.

"Hey! You two shit heads just going to sit here and gossip all damn day, or are you actually going to do something productive?" Gemma asked, interrupting their quiet.

"What do you want us to do ma'am?" Chibs asked Gemma.

"Go set up the bouncy house. I'd ask the Prospect to do it, but he'd probably play in it."

"Yeah Ma, we're on it." Jax replied.

-AHW-

Kozik was over helping Opie set out a floor plan for where the fire works were going to go off. Gemma demanded that they get them in place before people showed up so that Opie could have his time spend doing other things, instead of being a pyro, which he so loved.

"Hey Op, can I ask you a question?" Kozik asked Opie.

"Sure man, what's up?" Opie replied, not looking up from what he was doing.

"What's going on between Jax and the good ol' doctor?"

Opie's head shot up in surprise. He looked at Kozik to gauge his level of seriousness. He then broke out into hysterical laughter.

"Dude, you have no chance. For all intents and purposes, Tara is already Jax's old lady. They've been blindly in love with each other since we were young."

"Yeah, I figured that. I'll admit I felt some attraction there at first. I mean look at her, she's hot. But now I just am concerned about her. She's been through a lot and I already feel protective over her."

Both Opie and Kozik were startled by the voice that appeared behind them.

"I'm not gonna hurt her Kozik. I love her. I'm glad you think she's hot though." Jax takes a step closer to Kozik. "Just a heads up. Touch her and I'll kill you." He smiles and walks away.

Jax walked around aimlessly pondering his feelings. He knew that Tara was gorgeous. Hell, she always has been. But he didn't know how he felt about his brothers thinking so. He trusts Kozik, but he is jealous of him. He's even jealous of the relationship Tara has with Opie, which is ridiculous because they are like brother and sister. Shaking his head, he heads off to find Tara.

-AHW-

Finally, everything is set up and people started showing up. Jax and Tara took the first shift in watching over the bouncy house. They had been there for over two hours before a woman walks up to talk to Jax.

"Hello Jax." she greets.

Jax stands stiffly next to Tara, wondering what to do.

"April." he nods his head.

"Oh, I'm sorry, how rude of me." She says, sticking her hand out to Tara. "I'm April Hobart." She shakes Tara's sweaty hand and turns back to Jax.

"I talked to Kyle this morning, he said he'd be here around 3:00. Thanks again, Jax, for letting him come. He hasn't gotten to see our boy play because of his cut ties with the club."

"Yeah, no problem. Have a good day." He dismissed her and focused his attention on Tara.

"You knew?" she accused him.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I was going to tell you, but you rushed out to be with Abel and then you got attacked. I'm sorry I let you get hurt Tara." he says sadly.

"It would have happened even if you'd told me. I still would have went to the hospital to be with Abel. It's not your fault Jax, it's his." she kisses him on the cheek and walks away to check on the kids inside the bounce house. She could be mad. But what point would there be to that. It doesn't change anything, and she knows that Jax would never intentionally keep things like that from her.

By the time she got back to where Jax was standing, Chibs and Kip were with him.

"Hey Doc, it's time for your first hour break. Sack and I will be watching over the bounce house."

"Yeah. But Gemma gave strict instructions that I couldn't go inside." Kip said, sounding quite sad.

"Jesus, we have a five year old as a prospect." Jax laughed, pulling Tara away from the two.

They go and meet up with Donna and Opie, who are also on their down time. They go over to the child center that was set up and pick up Ellie. They decide that they are going to get something to eat and just sit and relax while they can. Everyone had just gotten situated with their food when they see Kyle walk over with a young blond attached to him.

Jax and Opie immediately get up and block Tara from his view, in the most casual way possible.

Kyle spoke up as soon as he got to the table.

"Hey guys, I don't want any trouble. I just came to see my kids, thanks for letting me."

Being face to face with Kyle, Jax could see the small bruise on the left side of his face. Jax assumed it had to be from Tara slapping him the night before. Before he could say anything, Kyle noticed Tara and Donna sitting at the table.

"Donna, it's nice to see you. Time's been kind to you." He greeted.

Dona smiled, then flipped him off.

"Are you going to introduce me to your friend?"He asked, gesturing towards Tara.

Tara stiffened, while Jax tried to reign in his anger.

"Don't talk to my old lady."

That statement got Kyles attention. He craned his head to see Tara, and gave her a hard look before turning his attention back to Jax.

"You hit your old lady, Teller?"

Jax laughed and put his hand on Tara's shoulder. Noticing that this time she didn't physically flinch at his touch.

"Naw, we like our sex rough. Fucked her so hard she fell off the bed."

Tara couldn't contain the laughter that was building inside of her.

"Anyways, have a nice day, because as soon as your kids band wraps up, SAMCRO will be escorting you out of Charming." Jax said, all teasing in his voice dissipated.

"Would expect no less." Kyle says as he turns and walks away. Before he leaves, he sends one more hard look Tara's way.

"Ugh, that guy is such a creep." Donna exclaims as soon as he's gone.

Jax turned his attention to Tara and immediately started to apologize for the things that he said.

"I'm so sorry, Tara. I just wanted to see the look on his face when I said those things. I shouldn't have assumed you'd be okay with it. It was kind of degrading towards you." Tara put her hand up and covered Jax's mouth with it.

"It's fine." Feeling lighter then she thought she would, she decided to play dirty. "Plus, you never know. That could be a reality soon." she finished with a wink.

Jax's mind was immediately bombarded with images of him and Tara in different sexual positions. He was getting hot just by the scenarios he was acting out in his mind. He was brought back to the present by Opie's loud guffaw.

"Dude, if you could see your face right now. It's priceless. I can only imagine the things you're picturing doing to Tara right now." Everyone laughed, while Jax looked a little sheepish.

Tara got up to get something to drink. She bent down and whispered in Jax's ear, low enough that only he heard it.

"Whatever you're imagining, I bet mine are way better." She kissed his cheek and left. Behind her she could hear Opie laugh even louder. She turned around and saw that Jax's face was frozen in shock. She gave herself a silent pat on the back, and continued over to the concession stand.

-AHW-

The fundraiser had been going off without incident and it was nearing 7:00. Tara knew she only had a few more hours of being on edge before Kyle would be out of Charming. She looked around yet again for Jax. She hadn't seen him or Opie for almost an hour, and she was starting to get concerned.

She was so deep in thought that when Jax came up behind her and said her name, she jumped and letting out a tiny squeek of surprise.

"Whoa darlin' you alright?" Jax asked her.

"Yeah, I've been looking for you actually."

"Sorry. Opie and I had to run to the market real quick. We were almost out of buns and pop. Did anything happen while I was gone?"

Tara laughed recalling Bobby's incident just a few minutes prior.

"Yeah, Bobby got over heated in his awesome white polyester suit and about passed out. Made a big production of it too. Oh, and Kozik burned his hand on the grill trying to show off, so Gemma banned him and stuck him on face painting duty for the rest of the night. The kicker is, he's not doing the painting, he's the canvas."

Jax laughed, hearing the stories. He loved how at ease Tara felt around his club, and hoped that after some time, their friendship would strengthen and they could work on becoming more. Jax pulled Tara aside to talk to her.

"Hey, I wanted to let you know that once I leave to escort Kyle out of Charming, I won't be back for a little while. We're going to leave the prospect and Kozik to hang out with you and Donna." Tara immediately knew it had something to do with Kyle.

"Jax, you said that you weren't going to do anything tonight."

"We're not. This is long overdue. That tattoo that he has to supposed to be blacked out, and he didn't. He can't still bear the mark of the club when he was tossed out. Tonight he's going to get it covered one way or another."

"What do you mean, 'one way or another'?" She asked hesitantly.

"I mean that either he goes to the tattoo shop and gets it blacked out, or we will burn it off his skin."

Tara shivered, thinking of how painful it would be to have your back burned so badly that it covers tattoos.

"So, the prospect and Kozik huh?" Tara asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah. Oh by the way, Kozik thinks you're hot. Just figured I'd let ya know."

"Well ya know, I do have a thing for blond men." Tara winked at him. She pushed his shoulder into hers and laughed with her. Jax put his arm around his shoulder and drew Tara to his side.

"I miss Abel." He said into her ear.

Tara smiled, thinking of the tiny child she already loved so much.

"Me too. He's going to be okay Jax." she reassured him.

"I know, I just worry about him. He's such a little guy."

"Yeah, but he's strong. He's going to be great." She stopped and looked up at him. "And you know what Jax, we're going to be great too."

Jax smiled at her and kissed her on the head. He knew that she didn't mean right now. They both had so much on their plates, but slowly and steadily, they were going to work on their relationship. He knew that Tara was right, things were going to be great.

**A/N: So that sounds like an ending to a story, I know! But it's not. I wanted to end the chapter on a lighter note, because the next chapter is going to go a little dark with the tattoo situation. Hope everyone enjoyed Jax's potty mouth in this chapter, cause I just see him saying something like that! :) **


	9. Joint Custody

**For this chapter, I listened to House of Gold by twentyone pilots. It's amazing, check it out!**

It was closing in on an hour before the fireworks were set to go off. Opie was over making sure everything was set up the way it needed to be, Donna was sitting on a table watching him.

"Hey Op, what's going to happen tonight?" Donna asked her husband, worriedly.

"Nothing that's going to get anyone in trouble. I can promise you that. We just intend to let him know that he's got limited time from now on. Also, he's getting that tattoo covered at some point, tonight."

"Alright, I just worry. Tara's been through so much, and I don't think she could stand it if she lost Jax right now too."

Opie took in the look on his wife's face and went over to her.

"Babe, everything is going to be just fine, you'll see. Jax already let Tara know that Kozik and the Prospect were staying behind with you guys tonight. We won't be out all night."

Across the park, Tara and Jax were standing in a similar position. Tara was sitting on the picnic table and Jax was standing next to her. But unlike Donna and Opie, who discussed Kyle, Tara and Jax were talking about Abel. Jax was voicing concerns that he had in regards to his son, and Tara was doing her best to answer to the best of her abilities. Throughout the entire conversation, Tara felt like someone had been watching her. She knew it was most likely Kyle, so she didn't attempt to find the person.

Jax and Tara's conversation was interrupted by the fireworks that were starting. All the club members, except Opie, joined Jax and Tara around the picnic table. No one voiced it, but every member of the club knew of Kyle's whereabouts the entire time. Everyone ooh'ed and awed at the appropriate time, and even laughed when one firework malfunctioned and everyone could hear Opie swearing on the back lot. As the show was nearing it's end, the men got up to escort Kyle out of Charming. Jax kissed Tara on the head and left with the guys.

As soon as the final note played, and the band thanked the crowd, Jax grabbed Kyle by the back of the shirt.

"Come on shit head, time to get outta here."

"Yeah, man I know. I'm coming. I gotta find my old lady first." Kyle said.

"Old lady? She barely looks 18. She's gonna have to find her own way home tonight." Clay laughed, following behind Jax and Kyle.

Once they were on the road, the got about twenty minutes out of Charming before they boxed him in and made him pull over. Clay gets off his bike and goes over to Kyle's truck, and pulls him out as well. Clay holds him, while Opie pulls the back of his shirt up.

"Motherfucker." Tig exclaimed, standing closest to Kyle so having the best view.

"Clay, I know I was supposed to cover it, but I couldn't. I may not be in the club anymore, but this gets me so much respect." Jax interrupted him before he could finish.

"Respect?" He asked him incredulously. "Fuck respect when you didn't respect your own brothers."

"I got scared! Op, I'm sorry." Kyle yelled at Jax.

Opie gave Kyle a hollow laugh.

"It's not me you need to be apologizing to."

"Enough!" Clay yelled. Everyone saw the confusion clearly written on Kyle's face. Clay continued.

"You have three options. The only reason I'm giving you three is because my old lady would have my balls if you died from the other two options after you were seen at her fundraiser. You can get it blacked out, or I can use fire or a knife to take it off."

"I promise, first thing tomorrow I'll get it filled in." Kyle promised.

"Naw, if that's the answer you're going with, then you are going to do it right now, with all of us witness."

Kyle hadn't noticed up until that point that they parking lot they were congregated in was the shop that most of the club members went to to get their ink done. He tried to run away, but was quickly caught by Jax and Chibs. He fought for a few minutes, but eventually gave up and went into the studio.

The tattoo artist expected them, so when they got there, the parlor was empty and they got right to work. Kyle laid down on the table, with the club members surrounding him on all sides. It had been relatively quiet for about half an hour before Kyle spoke up.

"How'd you even know I still had the tattoo?" Kyle asked.

Jax laughed. "You still haven't figured that out yet?"

Confused, Kyle looked up. "What?"

Jax took the needle gun from the artist, and decided that he wanted a turn filling it in.

"Well you see, I was at the clubhouse waiting on word on my baby. Instead, I got a call that my old lady was in the emergency room. Someone attacked her. I swore when I found the piece of shit, that I'd kill him." Jax said.

"What's that got to do with me?" Kyle winced as Jax pressed harder into his back with the tattoo gun.

"Don't fucking play dumb with me. I know exactly what you did. I know exactly why Tara left me five years ago." Jax was again embellishing on the truth, but he wished he wasn't. This however caught Kyle's attention and he shot up, looking Jax in the eye.

"That slut was never yours. She belonged to me, and she will again."

Everyone was surprised by Chibs punching Kyle in the face.

"She doesn't _belong_ to anyone, you dumbfuck. She is her own person. And you nearly fucking broke that woman for good." Chibs exclaimed.

Kyle just laughed. "You don't know what you're talking about. Tara loved it rough. And trust me, she'll come running back now that she's in town."

Almost simultaneously, Opie and Jax pulled out their guns and aimed them at different sides of Kyle's head. It was Opie that spoke first.

"You come near her, or Charming ever again and Jax and I will both put a bullet in your head." Not wanting to fight anymore, Kyle conceded, laying back down. Jax gave the tattoo gun back to the artist ,and the room fell silent once again.

"I think you're jealous." Jax spoke into the silence. "You were jealous five years ago or you wouldn't have beat the shit out of her, or threatened to kill her for seeing me or Op."

"I wasn't jealous. She was just another crow eater, a biker slut."

Both Chibs and Bobby had to hold back Jax from attacking Kyle. As they were dragging him to the entrance of the building they stopped.

"Just know this. Your days are numbered. Sometime, and soon, I'm going to find you and I'm going to kill you. I'd do it right now, but I think it's better that you sit at home and wonder when it's going to happen. You'll watch over your shoulder whenever you're out. You'll be paranoid, waiting for me to find you, just like Tara was paranoid. Speaking of Tara, I'm going to head home. Don't want to keep her waiting too long. I know she'll be worried." Jax walked out, with Chibs close behind him. Everyone else stayed behind to make sure the job got done.

-AHW-

Back at Donna's, her and Tara were waiting anxiously for their boys to return. Sack was positioned at the front door, while Kozik was hanging out on the back patio. Donna used this time to voice her frustrations with Tara, since she hasn't been able to yet.

"Ya know, I get why you left. It was about survival. But you didn't even call to let me know you were okay. I thought about you every single day for the last five years. Did you think of us at all?"

Tara looked surprised. "Of course Donna! Everyday. I missed you guys more than you'll even know. I felt so ashamed that I let it happen. I laid a lot of blame on the club and I wasn't sure how to act, or what to say to Jax and Opie. I felt like such a slut."

"What? Why?" This time is was Donna's turn to be surprised.

"I slept with Jax not even a week after Kyle pushed me into a glass shelf. I was still sleeping with Kyle at that point. It was out of fear. It is strange because I honestly felt like I was cheating on Jax, even though that was the first time that we'd slept together. I didn't sleep with Kyle again after New Years Eve, I just couldn't. I just felt horrible that I'd shared this amazing experience with Jax, but a week before that I'd fucked Kyle. It's deplorable." Tara could feel the emotion building within her.

"Tara, you can't feel that way. What Kyle was doing was horrible and disgusting. I understand why you left, but I hate that there was absolutely no contact between us."

"I can't apologize enough. There is no excuse for my silence. I can't take it back, but I can spend forever making it up to you." Tara promised.

Donna smiled and thought it over. "Deal."

They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes before Donna spoke up again.

"So since we're alone. I wanted to ask you some questions about Jax."

Tara smiles. "What about him?"

"Well for starters, what was the sex like? And secondly, what are you intentions with Jax?"

Tara laughed, feeling like she was being interrogated by a parent.

"Oh my. Donna, the sex was pure bliss! Intensity and passion rolled into one experience. And holy shit, I never knew that sex could be so amazing. I'd never felt more of a connection to him, then I did that night. I'd always felt something for Jax, but that night it escalated, tripled. Just everything you can imagine."

"Wow, that's something huh?" Donna laughed.

"Oh yeah." Was Tara's only response.

"So what's going on now? You guys have slept in the same bed for the past three nights."

"Now? That's more complicated. I think the connection is mutual, but there's a lot on both sides that influencing how things happen. I think as long as we're willing to take it slow, it'll be amazing. I love him and I think he loves me too. This might be crazy, but I'm going to ask him to come stay with me after I close the house on Monday. It'll give us time to talk and work on things. Plus, it'd get him out of the clubhouse and here for a while."

Donna laughed, not at all thinking it was crazy.

"Yeah, we just have to share custody of Chibs and Kozik." Both girls broke out into uncontrollable laughter.

Just then, Kozik walks in from the back patio.

"What's got you ladies so happy?" He asked.

Donna and Tara just laughed even harder, unable and unwilling to answer him.

Kozik looked at both women like they were crazy.

"Ooookay." he drew out the word. "Well Jax just let me know that he'd be home soon. Opie is still on the road, so he'll be a bit later."

"Thanks Kozik." Tara replied. "Hey Donna, I'm going to head to the bedroom, get ready for bed so I can talk to Jax as soon as he's ready."

"Good luck hun. Oh, breakfast will be ready about 9 tomorrow. Sundays are the days that Opie and I get to sleep in a little bit." Tara nods and hugs Donna, knowing that she'll be the one making breakfast for the group in the morning.

Tara took a shower and laid in bed waiting for Jax. She was almost asleep when Jax slid into the room.

"Hey darlin'. I'm going to jump in the shower okay?" Jax asked her, standing by her side of the bed.

"Yeah, sure. Take your time."

Tara fell asleep waiting for Jax to get done in the bathroom. She was woken up by Jax kissing her head.

"Hey sorry. I missed you and wanted to talk with you for a bit, if that's okay?" He asked, sitting on the bed next to her.

"Yeah, I'm glad you woke me up. I wanted to talk to you too. Everything go okay tonight?" she was worried about how things would play out.

"Yeah. The tattoo got covered. I even did some of it myself. I also let him know that the club knew about his past with you. He didn't like that too much. I just made my point and then left." He said, glossing over some finer details.

"I'm sorry you had to do that." Tara admitted.

"I'm not. I enjoyed it. His time will come, Tara. But it wasn't tonight." Tara nodded her head, but said nothing.

"How was your night with Donna?" Jax asked her.

"Good, we talked about a lot of things. We made peace with the whole disappearing thing."

"She didn't hit you again did she?" Jax asked.

Laughing, Tara just shook her head in the negative. She scooted down the bed and laid on her side facing Jax. Jax laid down and mirrored her position.

"So I wanted to talk to you about something else." Tara started. "Where do you see this going?" she motioned between the two of them with her hand.

"Don't cut any corners, Tara. I missed that about you."

"Seriously, Jax."

Jax took a deep breath and scrubbed his hand over his face. He took his time to gather his thoughts and then looked Tara in the eyes.

"I want to try it. We've got things to work on, but we've got the time to. What about you? Where do you see this going?" Jax asked, hoping she felt the same.

"I've wanted to work on things with you since I was 21. Hell, probably even before then. But after you gave me that necklace, and then we spent the night together, my feelings grew so much stronger. Both of those things meant so much to me."

Jax smiled, a very shy smile.

"I need to tell you something about that necklace. The crow is big within our club. It signifies a members' old lady. A wife. It represents a commitment between the man, the woman, and the club. I was tired of being just your friend, so I got you the necklace. I intended to take things slow with you. New Years was another turning point for me. I didn't want to take it slow after that, but I was never able to get you alone to talk about things. I knew you were it for me at that point, but you left before I could tell you."

Tara was confused by all the information that she had been handed down.

"Does Donna have a crow?" she asked.

Confused by her line of questioning Jax answered. "yep, she's got a tattoo."

"Bullshit!" Tara yelled. "Donna hates needles."

Jax laughed. He was starting to wonder if Tara didn't believe him about what the crow meant.

"Seriously, she does."

Tara jumped out of the bed and ran into the living room where Donna and Opie were sitting together.

"You got a tattoo?!" Tara yelled in Donna's general direction.

"Um, yeah. What's this about?" Donna was confused.

"Let me see it." Tara demanded.

Donna shot a bewildered look at the group, but got up and took her shirt off. Nestled on her left shoulder blade was a very intricate, abstract piece of artwork. Although it was abstract, you could clearly see the crow dead center of the tattoo.

"Holy shit." Tara gasped, sitting down on the couch.

"Ah, I see now. Jax told you what the crow means didn't he?" Opie asked.

Tara just nodded her head. Donna walked over to Tara and grabbed her hand.

"See, you have nothing to worry about. Things are going to be fine." Donna squeezed her hand and pulled Opie out of the room.

"God, I'm sorry. I panicked for a minute. I thought you were just fucking with me." Tara admits.

"I'd never do that. You didn't freak out because of the meaning, but because you thought I was just fucking with you?"

Tara nodded, sighing.

"Come on darlin'. Let's go to bed." Jax grabbed her hand and pulled her into the bedroom.

"We'll talk more in the morning. We are making breakfast after all." Jax pulled her against his body.

"You remembered?" Tara was surprised.

"Of course. Hope there's enough food. I told Chibs and Kozik about your amazingly delicious french toast, so they'll be here bright and early."

Tara didn't realize how exhausted she was. One minute she was listening to Jax talk about breakfast, and the next minute he was waking her up to make it.

"Wow, that was the most peaceful sleep I think I have ever had." Tara said.

Jax smiled down at her. "Yeah, I have that effect on you."

"Shut up, Teller. Let's go make breakfast."

Tara walked into the kitchen and noticed that Jax had already gotten everything out to make the french toast. They worked in comfortable silence for about twenty minutes.

"So last night. I wanted to talk to you about something else, but I wasn't able to." Tara started.

"What's that, darlin'?" Jax asked her.

"Well I close on the house tomorrow. And I was wondering if you'd want to come and stay with me? It'd give us the chance to talk and we wouldn't have to worry about being interrupted or bugging Donna or Opie."

Jax looked around the kitchen. Him and Tara had been working and have maneuvered around each other with ease. To Jax, it felt like they had been doing this for years. He realized he hadn't answered Tara yet because when he looked up at her, she stood stock still.

"I think that's a great idea." Tara breathed a sigh of relief. She started putting food on the plates that Jax laid out on the table. Just then, the doorbell rang.

"Right on time." Tara said, laughing.

"Got it!" Donna yelled from the hallway. She stopped when she passed by the kitchen.

"What did you two do?" Donna asked, clearly surprised.

"Same thing that you did for us for the last few days." Tara said, laughing. "You going to let the guys in, or make them starve?"

"Right." Donna returned to the hallways and towards the front door.

"Jesus, it smells amazing in here, Doc." Chibs said, before he even reached the kitchen.

"What are we going to do about these two shit heads?" Jax asked.

Tara and Donna immediately starting laughing.

"What the fucks so funny, Doc? What's Jackie Boy talking about?" Chibs asked.

"Well, I close on my house tomorrow, and I invited Jax to come and stay with me until his house is done. Donna and I were talking about it last night and decided that we'd have to have shared custody of you and Kozik when we're out of here." Tara said, laughing.

"Jesus, that's what you two were laughing about last night, isn't it?" Kozik asked.

Neither girl replied, just laughed harder.

"It'll be okay boys. We still love you both, we just have to see you at two different houses is all." Donna said, after a few minutes of laughter.

"Two Christmases!" Chibs yelled then took a huge bite of french toast.

The group had quieted down some when Opie came out with Ellie, but they still talked about the move.

Tara and Jax decided that since she was closing on the house tomorrow, they couldn't put off furniture shopping any longer than they have. They'd also call to see if Abel was allowed to have visitors yet. If he was, then they'd do some shopping, go see him, and then shop more. If he couldn't, then they'd just get the shopping done and go visit Gemma at the shop. Tara wanted to renovate the house quite a bit, and Jax mentioned Gemma would be a good person to go to for that.

Working so closely with Gemma during this time could be the catalyst that would make or break Tara's relationship with Jax. Tara hoped for the former, since the relationship hasn't really begun yet.

**A/N: Alright, there's a little longer chapter for ya guys! I'm writing non-stop lately, and I love how this story is going. Let me know if you love it, hate it, or have ideas you want to see in it! :) :)**


	10. Ready Made Family?

**A/N: This chapter was written while looping Go Radio's song Go To Hell over and over again.. :) I also want to thank a guest review for a suggestion. I THREW IT IN THERE! :) Since I can't respond to guest reviews, please review again and let me know what you thought! :)**

After breakfast, Tara was able to get ahold of Margaret Murphy at St. Thomas. While Abel was allowed visitors, he wasn't allowed them until after 3 PM. This would leave the doctors enough time to do their rounds and the post op check on him. Jax and Tara decided that they would get all of their shopping done, and then head over to the hospital.

As Tara was grabbing her purse, Jax mentioned that they needed to go to TM to get the list of furniture he'd need.

"We left in such a hurry last time, I think I left the list sitting on the desk." Jax explained to her.

Tar was not excited about the idea of seeing Gemma. Tara knew there was no real love there from Gemma to Tara, and Tara wanted to avoid that at all costs. In her mind, she knew that she'd have to at least attempt to make things work, if the relationship with Jax was going to be successful, but Gemma Teller-Morrow was just one thing she wasn't ready to tackle yet.

Tara breathed a sigh of relief when they pulled into the lot and Gemma's Mercedes was missing.

"I'm going to go into the office and get the list." Jax said, walking away from her.

Tara was standing next to Jax's bike when she heard footsteps coming from the other direction. When she turned around, she saw Juice walking towards her.

"Morning Juice." Tara said politely.

"Hey, Tara." Juice was fidgeting nervously.

"You alright?" She asked him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I really just wanted to apologize for the night we met. I don't really remember much about it, but I've been told by _several_ people what an ass I made of myself." Jax admitted.

"Naw, it's alright. We all do shit when we're drunk." she waved her hand dismissively.

"Well, I really wanted to clear the air and apologize. I can see how things could, or will, progress between you and Jax, and that's not something that I want to have to deal with later." Tara laughed. Now she completely understood why he was nervous. He had basically been hitting on his VP's girlfriend.

"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, Jax overheard Kozik telling Opie that I was hot." Tara said, trying to make Juice less worried.

Juice stared at her for a moment, and then started laughing.

"Thanks. That does make me feel a lot better."

As they were finishing their conversation, Jax was walking out of Gemma's office.

"Hey Juice. Wanna let my mom know I'm not going to be in today? I'm going to take Tara here to Beck's Furniture and then we are going to go see my boy." Jax said.

"Yeah, man, no problem." Juice looked at him bewildered. Juice had thought that Jax would make a sarcastic comment or be mean to him in some way. Jax was climbing on his bike and Tara turned to look at Juice.

_See, it's fine._ she mouthed to him, before she climbed on the bike and they two made their way out.

They were walking into the furniture store when Jax turned to Tara.

"You basically need everything, huh?" he asked her.

"Basically." Tara replied sarcastically.

Jax knew that she came to Charming with literally only her clothes and some things of sentimental value. Why he would ask her what she needs is beyond her.

"I think for now, I'm just going to go with the basics. Bedroom set and living room set. I'll worry about dining room and the odds and ends at another time." She knew this was going to cost her a pretty penny, and she thanked her college roommate for showing her how to save money and live cheap. This cheap living is the only thing that is letting her afford to even buy a house and furniture to fill it with.

"Alright. On my list is a crib, obviously. And then also a rocking chair for the nursery and a new coffee table. Apparently Wendy was also throwing cigarettes out where ever she felt like it." Jax said with a disgusted tone in his voice.

They were in the bedroom section, Tara trying to decide between two different beds when they heard a distinct voice somewhere in the distance.

"You have to to be shitting me." Jax mumbled. "I just want to let you know in advance, I'm sorry for telling Juice where we'd be."

Before Tara could question him about that, Chibs and Opie came around the corner.

"Jesus Christ. They really are like children aren't they?" Tara asked.

"Oi, funny running into you here Jackie Boy." Chibs said. "I've come to get me a new...well something, I've come to get something."

"Yeah, you've come to get punched in the throat." Tara deadpanned.

All the men began laughing, and just like that, they were just another group of friends shopping together. Of course, only if normal people wore cuts, and a protective stance over a girl with a bandaged head. Other than all that, it's completely normal.

"Well, I've already picked out the living room set, I just can't decide on the bedroom set." Tara said, pointing between the two beds that were side by side.

"Oh! This is my favorite part. The testing. I like this one, it's right comfortable." Chibs said, climbing up on one of the beds.

"Not the mattress dumb dumb, the bed frame and dresser."

"Whoa, Doc. Someone's feeling a little testy today."

"No, I just hate shopping. It's never been fun for me. I'd rather be sitting at home, in my sweatpants, on my couch. Watching horrible made for TV movies, or reading a book."

Chibs looked at Tara as if she was in the process of growing a second head.

"Jackie Boy." Chibs staged whispered to him. "Are you sure she's a lady?"

And for that, and for giving Chibs a piece of her mind, Tara casually walked up to Chibs who was still laying in the bed, and punched him in the throat.

"You're right. I think I'll take this one." Tara said, and walked away to find a sales rep.

Jax and Opie just stood there dumbfounded for a moment before they broke into laughter. Chibs was laying on the bed, clutching his throat. It didn't necessarily hurt, but it sure did surprise him.

"What the fuck was that?" Chibs asked, getting his bearings enough to get off the couch.

"Well, Tara did say you came here looking to get punched in the throat. I think that you filled the quota for bullshit for the short amount of time you were here so she fulfilled her promise." Opie relied.

Opie and Jax stood there laughing, while Chibs sat on the edge of the bed coughing a little.

Tara came back with a sales rep and pointed to the bed that Chibs was laying on.

"I want that bedroom set, as well as the living room set I picked out earlier."

"Alright. And you want this all delivered tomorrow is that correct?" The sales rep looked a little nervous standing there with the three club members.

"Yeah, in the afternoon would be best."

Everyone followed Tara up the the cash register. Jax had picked out the things he needed within minutes of entering the store, so they were done with their shopping.

Jax paid for his things and waited while Tara's purchases were rung up.

"Alright miss, your total today comes to $1,982.67." Tara knew it'd be expensive, but her heart raced a little when she passed over her credit card. She was surprised when Jax spoke up.

"Can we do part cash, part credit?" Jax asked.

"Of course sir. What portion will be cash?" the cashier asked.

"A thousand will be cash." Jax pulled a big wad of cash out of his pocket, and counted out ten one hundred dollar bills.

"Jax, what are you doing?" Tara asked him, alarmed.

"Relax darlin'. I should have to pay for half. I'm going to get as much use out of it since I'll be there for a while." Jax explains.

"Well, in that case, I'll pay for the rest." Chibs said, coming up behind Tara.

"Oh, no you won't. I can't let you do that." Tara said to both men.

"Don't worry, I'll make Kozik pay me back half of my half love." Chibs said.

Tara was getting ready to argue with them. Let them know that she could afford it, and didn't need someone handing her money. Before she could form more of an argument however, her phone started ringing.

_I don't want no scrubs. A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me. Hanging out the passenger side of his best friends ride, trying to holla at me._

Tara dug into her purse, but couldn't find her phone. It went silent for a total of ten seconds and then started ringing again. The guys were laughing while _trying_ to dance. The cashier was looking on with a confused smile on his face.

"Fucking bitch." Tara exclaimed when she finally found her phone.

"What the hell Donna! Am I ever going to live that shit down?" She greeted in way of hello.

"Yeah, probably not likely." Donna laughed. She had changed Tara's ringtone for when Donna's calls last night when Tara was sleeping.

"Bitch. What do you want? I'm in the middle of fighting with Jax and Chibs."

"Wow, starting the fighting kind of early in the day killer." Donna joked.

"Donna. What. Do. You. Want?" Tara punctuated every word.

"Alright, alright. I was just wondering if you and Jax were going to be here for dinner tonight?" Tara's angered ebbed away slightly.

"No, we won't be. Jax and I will be at the hospital with Abel."

"Are you going to get corralled into working again?" Donna asked.

"I don't think so. Especially with the bum rib, I think that they're going to give me the time I need before I officially start."

"And when is that exactly?" Donna asked.

"Wednesday. I have to go to the bank tomorrow to sign some more paperwork and get the keys. Then the furniture will be delivered. I basically have the whole day Tuesday to get settled in. I don't have much, so it won't be that hard."

Tara and Donna talked a little longer before Tara had to let her go. She hung up and turned back to the guys.

"I'm sorry about that. Where were we?" she asked.

"Well, you were getting ready to punch Jax in the throat." Chibs joked.

"Don't tempt me." Tara turned her steely gaze on Chibs.

He held his hands up in surrender and stood behind Opie.

"We're all done here darlin'. How about we go get some lunch and head to my house before we go see Abel?" Jax asked.

"No, I'm seriously pissed that you guys bought my stuff. I'm going to pay you back."

Chibs and Jax nodded in response, but they knew the'd never let her pay them back.

They stopped at the diner just around the block from the hospital to eat lunch. Opie and Chibs headed back to TM claiming they had to work or Gemma would kill them.

They sat at the diner talking until almost 3:00, and then made their way to the hospital.

"Ah, Tara. I was hoping to run into you. How are you feeling?" Margaret asked her.

"I'm doing well. There isn't much pain, except near my rib."

"I'm glad to hear that. You still going to be okay starting on Wednesday?"

"Oh, yeah."

Tara excused herself and her and Jax went to the neonatal unit.

"There's my boy." Jax exclaimed as he walked into the room.

"Oh, hello Mr. Teller." One of the nurses said from beside Abel's bed. She wore a smile that rubbed Tara the wrong way. Tara was used to Jax getting female attention, but that didn't mean she had to like it.

"How's he doing today?" Jax asked.

"Very well. You have a strong son there."

"Takes after his old man." Jax stated.

"I'll bet he does." the nurse murmured to herself.

Jax could feel the tension in the room, and knew that Tara was bothered by the nurse.

"Hey darlin'. Come over here and see the boy." Jax said, holding his arm out to Tara. She walked over and Jax pulled her into his side. He kissed the top of her head and leaned down to her ear.

"She's got nothin' on you babe."

Tara didn't take her eyes off the baby, but let a small smile grace her face.

"Oh, Mr. Teller. This was left for you." The nurse handed Jax an envelope and then left the room.

"Who the hell would leave you something at the hospital?" Tara asked him.

He didn't answer. He already knew who it was, and he didn't know if he wanted to read it.

"Wendy." Jax finally said after a very long silence.

That stopped Tara short. She knew there was no love lost between the two, but what if Wendy wanted to rekindle things? They obviously have a history, she is the mother of his son after all. Shaking her head, she decided that she couldn't dwell on it. She knew that Jax was in it with her, and he wouldn't jeopardize that.

With shaky fingers, Jax opened the envelope to reveal a handwritten letter. The penmanship was sloppy and erratic, but definitely Wendy's.

_Jax,_

_I'm writing you this letter because you haven't come to see me yet. I guess I assumed you would. We have such a history, and I hate that you're not willing to sit down and talk to me. I made a mistake Jax. I never should have gotten back into drugs, I know that. I put my son in danger because I was too weak to face the reality. I missed you Jax. You were never around and then we were just done. You chose the club life over me and our child._

_I'm not going to place blame solely on you, but you can't place it all on me either. We both made mistakes. I gave up my rights because I think that is the child's best chance of having a semi-normal life. I think that he could have a normal life if he didn't grow up in the club, but I know that isn't a possibility. _

_When I check out of here, I'm going straight to _Promises. _I was hoping that you might be willing to let me see him after I am clean and sober. I gave up my right as his mother, but I think I should still be able to get to know my son._

_I'm checking out Monday morning. So please, come see me before then._

_Wendy_

Jax couldn't believe it. In one letter had basically told him that Abel's life would be better with someone else, and that she doesn't want him now, but maybe later she will.

"What a fuckin bitch." Jax exclaimed, still looking at the letter.

Tara didn't say anything, she didn't think it was her place to. Jax handed her the letter. He had intended to read it out loud for her to hear, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. And now he's glad he didn't. If he'd read that letter out loud, he'd probably be in her room strangling her to death with a chord.

Tara took it and read the letter silently.

"Oh Jax, that's not true. The best place for Abel to be is with you, and the rest of his family." Tara rubbed Jax's back affectionately.

"What should I do, Tara? Should I go talk to her? I have a lot that I want to say."

Tara didn't think it was a good idea, but if this was the last chance that she got, she would support him.

"If you can remain calm, than yeah, I think you should. But if you're going to be over emotional, I think that you should wait."

Jax scoffed. "Wait for what? Once she checks out of the hospital, that's going to be the last time she is welcome anyone even _close_ to my son."

Jax stayed in Abel's room to calm his nerves, and just be close to his son. He waited about an hour before he excused himself to go to Wendy's room.

He stopped with his hand still on the door handle.

"Do you think that you could come with me? You say I need to remain calm, but I don't know if I can do that. I think you're the perfect calming factor to all of this."

"Is that really a good idea, Jax? She's been through a lot and I don't think flaunting this in her face is going to help." Tara reasoned.

"We're not flaunting anything. She's been through a lot on her own volition. I just need you there."

Seeing the pleading look in his eye, she couldn't deny him. They stopped at the nurse's station to ask for the room number, and made their way to Wendy's room. Jax hesitated for only a second before he opened the door and lead them in.

Wendy was sitting in her bed, mindlessly flipping through channels on TV when she heard her door open.

"Jax." She said in astonishment. "I didn't think you'd come."

"Yeah, me either." he replied.

"I'm glad you did, though."

"Yeah, I'm not." Jax replied, running his hands through his hair. "Look, just say what you need to so I can get the fuck out of here and away from you."

"Did you read my letter?" Wendy asked him.

"Do you think I'd be here if I didn't? You basically said I should throw Abel away, just because you did. You're a stupid, selfish junkie. I'm glad my son will be rid of you." Jax seethed.

"Hey, he's my son too! I'm only doing what's best for him."

"Yeah? Is what's best for him almost killing him? How's he going to feel when he finds out his mother did time for almost killing him when she was pregnant. You didn't even care enough about him to keep him from dying!"

"I tried to stay clean, I did. I relapsed once and it just escalated from there. I would have told you, but you'd have gotten mad and we would have started fighting and I knew that wasn't good for me at that stage of pregnancy." Wendy said.

"You really are a dumb bitch. You're worried about a little arguing when you're shooting yourself up with crank. It wasn't like I would have fucking hit you, Wendy. I'd never lay a god damn hand on you."

Wendy broke down crying.

"I did what I thought was best. But now, I don't know. I'm here all alone. I face jail time for my drug habit, and I have no family to turn to."

"The crying isn't going to work on me, Wendy. This is of your own doing. I hope you go to jail for what you did. You deserve nothing else. I have half a mind to turn in your gun and drugs you had stashed. The only reason I don't is because they were in my house, and it'd end up blowing back on me."

Tara had stayed silent through the whole exchange. She watched Wendy's heart monitor as it starting fluctuating rapidly. Wendy was getting over excited and stressed out and it wasn't good for her.

"Jax, maybe we should go. She needs to stay calm right now." Tara said.

Wendy's face turned from grief to anger as she spotted Tara there for the first time.

"Oh, now I get it. You're going to run along and play house with her. She stepped in to a ready made family." Wendy spit out sarcastically.

"Hey! You don't get to talk to Tara that way." Jax yelled at Wendy.

"Oh, so this is the precious Tara. The woman of whom I was never able to live up to. You have Jax wrapped around your little finger, and you didn't even date. Must be some sort of magical power. You came back at the perfect time. Now you and Jax can rekindle your long lost love over my son."

Tara had heard enough.

"Hey! That little boy in there is lucky to be alive. It's not my fault you couldn't live up to my standards, they really aren't that high. I didn't come back to be with Jax and his family, I didn't even know he was _having_ a family!" Tara stepped closer to Wendy, while Jax laid a hand on her shoulder.

"But let me tell you this. _IF_ I had stayed in Charming. Jax wouldn't be here right now, fighting with you. He wouldn't have a son fighting for his life. He would be at home with me, a baby laid across his chest. Happy and healthy. He wouldn't be worrying about some junkie whore coming out of the wood works later in life needing a handout."

"Come on Tara, let's go. This isn't worth the trouble anymore." Jax said, trying to pull Tara to the door.

"Jax, wait. We're not done." Wendy said.

"Yeah, we are. This is the last time I'm ever going to see you Wendy. Unless you go to trial for the things you did to my son. If that's the case, I'll be there front and center." Jax said, and pulled Tara out of the room.

Tara walked beside him silently. She was angrier than she had been in a long time. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts, she didn't even hear Jax talking to her.

"Come on, darlin'. Let's go see our little man."


	11. She Truly Felt at Home

**A/N: MUCH OVERDUE CHAPTER. I have had so much going on, but those arent excuses. I let it slide and for that I am sorry. Hope people are still reading. Here a new chapter and more will be up this week. I have been in a writing mood. I found a muse and I don't know where it came from, but she's happy! :)**

Jax and Tara walk back into Abel's room. They sat in silence, with nothing but the beeping of his machines to fill the room.

"You know I didn't come back for that, right?" Tara asked.

"What do you mean?" Jax asked her, thoroughly confused.

"To try and get a chance with you. To ruin whatever you had with anyone here." Tara was beginning to be overcome with emotion.

"Hey, I know that." Jax stood up and went to where Tara was sitting on the other side of Abel.

"Okay." Tara said. "I guess Wendy just got into my head."

Jax bent down to eye level with Tara, gave her a small smile and wrapped his arms around her.

The two spent the rest of the day at the hospital. There were bouts of silence, and small chatter. But mostly, they just enjoyed the company of each other. Eventually a nurse came in to kick them out. They both went back to Opie's and went immediately to sleep.

-AHW-

The next morning, Jax and Tara woke up and ate breakfast. To no one's surprise, Kozik and Chibs are there.

"Hey darlin', when ya moving?" Chibs asked Tara. "I'm going to make myself available to help you out."

Tara smiled at him. "Thanks, but I don't really have anything."

"Nothing?" This time it was Kozik who spoke up.

Tara fidgeted nervously.

"Um, the stuff we bought yesterday, and some clothes and stuff of sentimental value. That's it."

"I'm sorry darlin'. We'll take care of ya."

Tara smiled. She hadn't known these people very long, but she was sure she had the family she'd always wanted.

-AHW-

Jax called Gemma to see if she can go and sit with Abel at the hospital until him and Tara can get there. Gemma readily agreed.

"Okay. Mom's going to sit with the boy while we're running our errands. Ready to go?" Jax asked Tara.

Jax took Tara to the bank so she could sign the final papers and get the keys to the house.

Jax called the others with the good news. Opie, Donna, Chibs, and Kozik all met them at the new house.

When Jax and Tara pull up, a lump formed in Tara's throat. Opie's truck was full to the brim with boxes that Tara _knew _was going to be put in her new house.

Donna had brought lamps, curtains, a shower curtain, silverware, pots/pans, plates, and cups. Basically all of the things Tara forgot she needed.

"Donna, Op. You guys didn't have to do this."

Opie laughed.

"Don't thank us yet. The silverware, plates, and cups are new. Some of the pots and pans are used so I don't know how long they'll last. One of the lamps is from the spare bedroom. And well the curtains, you're going to need them." Everyone laughed at Opie's explanation.

"You guys are amazing." Tara said proudly.

Everyone sat in the living on the floor as Tara went and ordered them lunch. She paid over the phone with her credit card. She knew the guys would throw a fit about it, but she didn't really care. They helped her out so much, the least she could do was buy them lunch. The food came half an hour later. All four guys stood up to pay for the food.

"It's already been taken care of." The young delivery boy managed to say, through a shaking voice. He didn't know much about these four guys, but he knew what the cut meant, and that scared him.

"What do you mean it's already been taken care of?" Jax asked.

"A Miss Knowles paid for it with her credit card. I'm going to need her signature on the receipt."

All four guys looked at Tara. She just smiled and walked over to sign the receipt. She took the bags of food and sat back down on the floor.

The delivery boy turned to walk away.

"Hey, here's your tip." Jax handed him a twenty dollar bill. Jax sauntered over to the group with a smug smirk on his face.

"Still spent money."

"You're such a dumbass." Tara replied, shaking her head.

-AHW-

At 3:45, Jax and Tara finally made it to the hospital.

"Hey Ma. Thanks for sitting with him." Jax greeted his mother.

"Aw Jackson. You know it's not a problem for me to do this. He's my grandbaby."

Tara wasn't sure how she felt being there with Gemma. She knew Gemma wasn't going to leave, and she wondered if she should.

"Hey sweetheart, why don't you sit down." Gemma gestured towards the chair next to her. Tara waited for Jax to reply.

She heard a chuckle next to her and looked up at Jax.

"She's talking to you darlin'." Tara was stunned for a moment, she looked at Gemma and then sat down next to her. Gemma smiled warmly at Tara and then turned her attention back to Abel. Jax laid his hand on Tara's shoulder and they both turned their attention to Abel also.

Back at Tara's new house Donna, Opie, Kozik, and Chibs continued their pursuit of unpacking. Donna had went and got items from her house that Tara had left behind when she disappeared. She didn't know if she'd ever see Tara again, so she kept them for her own reasons. Now that Tara was back, Donna knew it was things she'd want back.

Chibs went out and bought towels and bathroom supplies, and Kozik went out and bought basic bedroom set and pillows.

They continued unpacking and bringing in items, hoping they could have it done before Tara got back from the hospital.

-AHW-

Around 8pm that night, Jax and Tara were leaving the hospital. Gemma stayed until about 6, but said she had errands to run and might see them later.

As they were walking out, they ran into David Hale.

"Hey Jax, can I speak to you for a moment?" David asked tentatively.

"Yeah, what's up?" Jax asked, concerned with why David had sought him out.

"Wendy checked out his morning. Unfortunately that looks good to judges. She checked herself out into a rehabilitation center."

"What does that mean?" Jax asked.

"It means Wendy will probably be able to plead down to much lesser charges." Hale said regretfully.

"How is that even possible?" Jax asked incredulously.

Hale let out a chuckle.

"Jax, you're a criminal. You know how these things work. You do something good and they'll show some forgiveness."

Jax didn't like being reminded of his criminal status. He was working hard to stay away from illegal things. Well, as much as the club would let him.

"Yeah well, my criminal activity sure as fuck doesn't involve potentially killing innocent children." Jax stated.

"Yeah, I guess I'll give you that one. But on the other hand, Wendy does have a record. It's not quite as extensive as yours, but it's enough to show instability on the part of her potential recovery." Hale replied.

This time it was Tara's turn to question him.

"What does that mean?"

"It means once a junkie, always a junkie." Jax spat. "She's been to rehab three times and has relapsed every time" Jax continued.

"Anyway Jax, I'll keep you updated on the case. Hope your son is doing well."

At that, Jax's face softened. "Thanks Hale."

Jax and Tara headed out of the hospital and got on Jax's bike. They headed back to Tara's house. As they pulled up to the house, Jax smiled and Tara took a deep breath.

Littered all over Tara's driveway, on the street, and in the front yard was a whole clubs worth of motorcycles.

"What's this Jax?" Tara asked.

"I don't know, but I'm going to kiss whoever set this up." Jax replied.

"You go ahead. Might be your last chance before I kill them." Tara groaned as she got off of Jax's bike.

Tara opened the door first and came face to face with all of SAMCRO, their old ladies included. On the entryway to the kitchen was a "WELCOME HOME" sign. It was in that moment, looking around at all the men and women packed into her VERY newly purchased house, that she truly felt at home.

"Who did this?!" She yelled.

Everyone was quiet. Except for Donna.

"CHIBS!" Donna yelled.

"Motherfucker." Chibs groaned under his breath.

Tara looked around the room and found Chibs hiding behind Tig. She walked over to him briskly. As she got close, Chibs covered his throat, not wanting a repeat of yesterday. Tara ignored his muffled apologies and threw her arms around his neck.

"Thank you so much. I didn't even realize I wanted this until right now. Yet, you did." she said while still hugging him.

Chibs pulled back a little, but kept Tara in an embrace. "Anything for you doc, you're family."

Tara hugged him tight and kissed his cheek. Loud applause was heard throughout the room. Tara turned toward the group.

"Thank you all so much for coming. I'm sorry I wasn't ready for this. I have an empty home and no food."

Gemma stepped forward and looped her arm through Tara's.

"Sweetheart. Let me show you something."

Gemma pulled Tara into the kitchen. The counters were full of food, alcohol, pop, plates, and silverware. Tara was stunned.

"What? I-I don't know what to say."

Gemma gave Tara a soft smile.

"Go look through the rest of the house." Gemma urged.

Tara stopped in the living room and asked Jax, Donna, Opie, Kozik, and Chibs to walk with her. They stopped in the bathroom and Tara was floored to see it already fully stocked. There were towels in the closet and all showering items she needed were on the counter. Tara stood there completely stunned. She picked up the shampoo bottle and smelled it. Chibs' voice filtered through her musings.

"Donna told me what scent to get. Hope it's okay." Chibs asked.

Tara put the bottle down. "It's great." She replied.

Tara then opened the med cabinet and came face to face with more makeup than she'd ever seen in her life. She turned to Chibs with a smile on her face.

"That wasn't me. I don't know shit about makeup." He defended quickly.

"That was Gemma." Donna piped up.

That surprised Tara. Maybe things weren't going wrong with the matriarch. The group moved to the guest bedroom next. In the room sat a bassinet, diapers, and baby clothes. Tara turned to Donna, shocked.

"People brought a lot of stuff for Abel." Donna explained. "Since Jax's house isn't done yet, we put it in here. If that's not okay, we can store it at my place."

Tara took a second to answer, unsure why she felt a wave of disappointment that it was only temporary. She took a deep breath and answered quietly.

"No, it's fine here. That room isn't being used anyway."

Donna nodded her head and grabbed Tara's arm.

"Okay, last room to see is your bedroom." Donna and Tara walked together, and the men followed.

Tara opened the door and was surprised to find it looking completely different than when she left it five hours ago.

The bed was done in a simple blue comforter with two fluffy pillows on either side. There was a lamp on the end table and on the dresser she bought. What stopped her was the pictures that were hanging on the wall. The first one was a picture of Donna and her, around 18 years old. Both looked young and completely carefree. The next was the original foursome at the clubhouse. Donna on the back of Opie's bike and Tara on the back of Jax's. What made Tara laugh was it looked like a picture in motion. She was falling OFF the bike. Tara's laugh died in her throat as she came across the last picture. The last picture she didn't even know about. It was a candid shot of her and Jax the day after the infamous New Years Eve party. Tara was in the kitchen doing dishes and Jax was watching her from the entryway. She hadn't even known he was there. From the profile of his face, you could see a serene smile on his face.

Unsure as to why, tears began to spring to Tara's eyes. It wasn't until Donna spoke that she remembered she wasn't alone.

"Are you okay?"

Tara frantically wiped her eyes before she turned toward the group.

"Huh, oh yeah. I'm fine. Can I just have a minute alone please?"

Chibs was the first to answer. He laid a hand on Tara's shoulder. "Of course love."

Tara could see that Kozik and Chibs had to practically drag Jax out of the room.

Tara watched the door close behind them and sat on the bed and cried.

-AHW-

Back in the living room, the party was in full swing.

"Hey, where's the lady of the hour?" Tig asked.

"In her room. She just needs a minute." Jax replied.

"Hey Jax, I'm going to use the restroom. Watch the oven for me, yeah?" Gemma asked.

"Yeah, Ma." Jax responded absentmindedly.

By the time Tara heard a knock on her door, she was in full blown hysterics. Before she had time to pull herself together, the door opened. Gemma stood in the doorway.

"Hey." Gemma said, quietly.

"Hi?" Tara didn't mean to, but she posed it as a question.

"Wanna talk?" Gemma asked.

"To you?"

"Well, there's no need to sound so incredulous. I do know how to speak in a polite manner." Gemma said.

"Since when?" Tara questioned under her breath.

"Hey!" Gemma exclaimed.

Gemma walked over to the bed and sat down.

"Okay sweetheart. What's wrong?"

"I'm crazy right? It's all happening so fast. I've been home for less than a week and I've basically got Jax moving in with me. It's insane! I was actually disappointed that Abel's things are going to be here temporarily. Who thinks shit like that about a guy they barely know, and his son!?" Tara ranted, all in one breath.

Stunned, Gemma sat quietly for a moment.

"I'm going to tell you something, Tara. I hated you when you jumped ship 5 years ago. You had an effect on Jax that I didn't think was healthy. I didn't think you'd want to be a part of this life. Yet, here you are. Worried NOT about the club or about all the criminals you currently have in your house. No. You're worried about what people would say about you and Jax." Gemma sat quietly for a moment, than finished.

"Fuck 'em."

Tara looked up in surprise, only to see Gemma smiling.

"Seriously Tara. You and Jax have a history that's spanned a long time. It's not like he's just some guy you met on the street. And let me tell you something else. The people that matter, don't care. The people that matter are rooting for you. Don't let anyone stop you."

Gemma laid a hand on Tara's knee and then made her exit.

Tara sat there stunned. So Gemma was not against it? Gemma acknowledged it was crazy, but she also acknowledged it was happening and didn't say anything negative about it. Tara wasn't sure why, but she felt lighter at the weird advice from Gemma.

-AHW-

Gemma walked back into the living room. She spotted Jax sitting in the corner talking to Donna.

"What do you think caused that?" Jax asked quietly.

Before Donna could respond, Gemma interrupted their conversation.

"Hey Jax. Why don't you go talk to Tara. I think she's feeling much better." Gemma said.

"What did you say to her?" Jax asked, afraid his mother made her usual bold statements.

"Hey! If I was a bitch, she'd have ran of this house crying. Did she do that? No. So don't get all high and mighty on me like you have to babysit me. I'm your mother Jax, not the other way around."

Jax looked properly chastised and left the room, kissing his mom on the cheek on his way out.

He stopped outside Tara's bedroom door and took a deep breath. He opened her door, and before he could even walk in completely, Tara had launched herself into Jax's arms.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Jax asked, confused by the turn of events.

Tara let out a humored chuckle.

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong. Just for one second, everything feels so right."


	12. Two Christmases, Remember?

**A/N: New Chapter up! YAY Two in a row guys! Another kind of fluffy chapter. It's going to be a long story. I also want people's advice. I want to tell Gemma the history between Tara and Kyle. Who do you think should deliver the news? Jax or Tara. Let me know!**

_"Nothing. Nothing is wrong. Just for one second, everything feels so right."_

Jax held Tara in his arms for a few minutes before he pulled back slightly. Jax couldn't believe how things were playing out. A week ago he hadn't even known Tara would ever come back. Now here she was, in his arms, and all he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss her. He had an emotional war raging within him. Part of him thought it was too soon. The other, more dominant part, thought that he didn't give a fuck and wanted to do it. The latter battle won over as he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

Tara hesitated for a fraction of a second and then responded to him. It wasn't rushed or excited. It held a promise. A promise of more. A promise of working towards greatness.

Tara and Jax separated and Tara laid her head on Jax's chest. When Jax began to speak, Tara listened intently and reveled in the vibrations it made on her cheek.

"We should go back to the party, huh?" Jax asked.

Tara took a deep breath. "Yeah, I guess we should."

As they were walking back towards the living room, Tig intercepted them.

"Hey Jax, I'm going to talk to Tara for a bit. Do you mind?" Tig asked.

Jax looked at Tara for confirmation and Tara just shrugged at him.

Once Jax walked away, Tig smiled at Tara.

"So, you're not a stripper?" He asked.

Tara gave him a little shove and told him to shut up. Tig just smiled and led Tara into the dining room. Tara stopped at the entry way and looked at the table that was sitting there. Tara knew she hadn't purchased one yet, and she wasn't sure who had given one to her.

"Who gave me this?" Tara asked Tig.

"Gemma. She said she finally bought a new one. She figured since you didn't have one, you could use hers. I honestly think she used it as an excuse to buy a new one, but that's just my opinion." Tig clarified.

Once Tig finished talking, Tara began to laugh. She knew why Gemma needed a new table, and she thought it was ironic that Gemma gave her the table when Tara herself was the one that damaged it.

Jax heard Tara's laugh from the living room and went to the dining room to see what he was missing. Again, his jealousy was kicking in. Jax didn't even need to ask Tara what was so funny. He saw the dining room table and immediately started laughing. Tig, who was still standing there, looked at Jax and Tara and shook his head.

"And everyone says _I'm _the weird one." Tig muttered as he walked away.

Tara walked up to Jax and let Jax wrap one arm around her. She leaned into him so she could talk without anyone else hearing.

"Hey, do you think now that it's my table, I can tell Gemma what happened to it?" she asked Jax.

Jax looked at Tara like she had grown a second head.

"Give it a couple days. She might take it back from you." Jax replied.

Tara looked over the kitchen where Gemma was getting something out of the oven. Gemma turned towards Tara and winked when she made eye contact. Tara turned to Jax.

"You know what. I don't think she would."

-AHW-

Tara was introduced to the rest of the SAMCRO family. There were a lot of faces that Tara recognized from the past. But there were also a lot of new faces joined in. Tara knew about the "crow eaters" and was surprised that there weren't more slutty looking women running around.

Tara was talking to Bobby and Happy when she noticed the lack of women. She turned to Bobby.

"Okay, so this is going to be a really weird question. But aren't there usually more "crow eaters" around these type of parties?'

Bobby let out a small chuckle.

"Yeah, there usually are. But tell me. How comfortable are you around those crow eaters?"

Tara thought back to the days of yearning for Jax. Knowing that there was a real possibility that he was out with one of them, when all she wanted to do was be with him. Tara must have had a disgusted look on her face because Bobby laughed again.

"See, that reaction right there is why there aren't more here. Donna and Chibs wouldn't go into specifics but demanded that there not be crow eaters here. Gem wasn't too happy about that. Crow eaters are pretty horrible people, but they do help well around the kitchen." Bobby explained.

Tara's heart melted a little at hearing that Donna had stuck up for her. She knew there was a small part of Donna that was still pissed about her leaving, but letting Tara have a drama free party showed that Donna and Tara could work through their differences. Tara excused herself from the duo, and went to seek out Donna.

Tara found Donna in the kitchen helping Gemma finish getting all the food ready to serve. Donna had just set a casserole down on the counter when Tara enveloped her in a hug.

"I love you, Donna. You're the best friend a woman could ask for." Tara said, voice thick with emotion.

Donna hugged back, not quite knowing what was happening, but knowing that Tara needed this moment. And quite honestly, so did Donna.

Gemma walked up behind the two and patted them on the back.

"Alright my little love birds, time to break it up. Who wants to let the guests know its time to eat?" Gemma asked.

Donna looked at Tara and smiled, knowing Tara wanted to do it.

Tara walked into the middle of the living room. She put her thumb and pointer finger in her mouth and whistled as loud as she could. Everyones attention was immediately diverted to Tara. She gave a big smile and uttered one word.

"FOOD!"

-AHW-

"Hey Donna, before we eat, can you help me put a bandage on my head? I wanted to wait until everyone left, but it's been open all day and I need to cover it." Tara explained.

Donna nodded her head and followed Tara back to the bathroom. Tara and Donna made small talk about the party and Abel before Donna asked Tara what she was doing tomorrow.

"Well, I have one full free day tomorrow and then I start work Wednesday."

"So what are you going to do with your free day?" Donna asked her.

"Shopping." Tara laughed. She explained Donna about not paying for any of her furniture.

"So basically I'm going to take some of that money that was intended to go toward furniture and put it towards getting more clothes and nice shoes for work. I didn't really bring a lot of clothes with me either."

Donna didn't want to make Tara go into too much detail about her impromptu return home, so she changed the subject to a safer one.

"What's your schedule look like at work?"

"I will be working 6am to 6pm 4 days a week. I will also be on call one weekend a month."

"That sounds kind of exhausting" Donna said.

"Nah, I don't think it'll be too bad. I'll work mostly Monday through Thursday. So when I'm not on the on call rotation, I'll have a three day weekend." Tara explained.

"I'm excited to get back to work, but I don't want Jax to have too much time to change his mind." Tara said quietly.

Tara looked up as she heard Donna laughing.

"More time with Jax and his mind only means he will fall harder for you, not pull away." Donna said.

There was a lag in conversation, so Tara decided to tell Donna about her conversation with Gemma. Donna had already cleaned her wound and was getting the bandage ready to put on when Tara began talking, surprising her by what she said.

"so when you and the guys left me in here earlier, Gemma came in."

Donna stopped what she was doing and whipped her head around quickly to see Tara's facial expression. Noticing Tara was smiling, Donna continued to apply the bandage.

"Okay, so how did that go?" Donna asked.

"It was really surprising. She was not at all against Jax and I. She literally told me to fuck what others thought." Tara finished with a laugh.

Donna began to laugh. "See, I wasnt sure where Gemma would fall on all of this. She was pretty bitchy about you when you left, but almost avoided talking about you after about a month."

"Will, it seems i have nothing to worry about. Hey I was going to ask you. Do you want to go shopping with me tomorrow?" Tara asked.

Donna finished applying the bandage to Tara's head and came and sat next to her.

"I would love to but tomorrow is my volunteer day. but we can go again sometime soon" Donna told her.

"Yeah, it might be nice to go and do something alone. things are going great here but I haven't really had any time by myself all week."

-AHW-

When they got back to the party, everyone was eating. Donna and Tara made their way over to Jax and Opie. Jax handed Tara an already made plate of food. Tara smiled and thanked him. Tara looked around and noticed that quite a few people were gone already.

"Hey, I hope I didnt make people feel unwelcome." Tara said to the group.

"What do you mean?" Opie askex her.

"Well theres a lot less people here now than there was 15 minutes ago." Tara pointed out.

"Nah, everyone and went out and took a smoke break. Most of the Sons are out, thats why its kind of empty."

At the mention of smoking Tara realized she'd been so busy the last few days that she hadnt had one at all. But now, thats all she could think about.

"Oooh, I think I'll join them." Tara said getting up.

Of the four, Donna was the only non smoker. That didnt stop her from going out with everyone. When they got outside, they were immediately joined by Chibs, Kozik, and Tig.

"You're a little crazy, you know that right?" Tig asked, as he lit Tara's cigarette.

"Oh, and I suppose you have so much room to talk. If you're the standard than I'm as fucking sane as they come."

Tig put his hand over his heart in mock hurt. Then he quickly looked at Jax.

"I think I'm a little in love with her. Don't fuck this up. I'll steal her so fast." You winked at Tara then went over with Clay and Bobby. Tara looked at Jax who had an equally stunned look on his face.

"Jesus is there anyone in the club that doesn't want my girl?" Jax asked.

Chibs raised his hand. "Not me brotha. She's already like a daughter to me, that's too fucking weird. I'm not Tig."

Tara mashed out her cigarette.

"Okay, that's my que to leave" And she walked back inside.

-AHW-

Once she got back inside, Tara began to mingle with the guests. She made sure they all had enough refreshments and food. Many people reminded her that this was her party and she didnt need to wait on them. Tara didnt mind though, she liked feeling useful.

People started leaving around one a.m. Tara knew some of them shouldnt be out on the road, but she also knew theyd drive home if they wanted to. She made sure Donna and Opie knew they could stay here if they needed to.

It wasn't until everyone but Jax, Donna, Opie, Chibs, andKozik were left did she realize she had one bed and two couches. That left two people on the floor with no blankets or pillows.

"So I guess I didn't think this through very well. I don't have all the accommodations for 6 people." Tara explained.

Chibs smiled and walked into the hallway towards the spare bedroom. He was gone for two minutes at most and came back carrying three blankets still bundled from being newly purchased. He set them down and disappeared again. He came back with two pillows and an air mattress.

"Easy. Donna and Opie get the air mattress and Kozik and I each get a couch."

Opie and Chibs started setting up the air mattress while Donna opened the blankets and pillows.

"You PLANNED this?" Tara asked Chibs.

"Hey! Two Chistmases remember?"

**A/N: Sorry for the shorter chapter, I have so much I'm covering in the next one so it'll be long. A nice fluff piece cause there's going to be a little angst coming up!**


	13. Raw and Vulnerable

**A/N: HA I'm on a roll guys! I think this chapter is going to be my favorite by far! I am so in love with it. How conceited do I sound? My fanfiction confidant and friend inspired parts of this chapter. Elbeewoods, here's to you dear!**

_"Hey! Two Christmases, remember?"_

Once everyone was settled, Jax followed Tara uneasily towards her bedroom. Things had definitely changed tonight, and he didn't wasnt Tara to feel any sort of pressure from him. Jax didn't expect anything to be different in a matter of hours, but come on. He was going to be sleeping in a bed with the woman of his dreams, and his mind kind of went out of control. Jax decided that to keep himself from looking like a total horny teenager, he was going to keep her talking, so he couldn't let his mind wander too much.

Once they were both settled in the bed, Tara turned towards Jax. Jax smiled and opened his arms, inviting Tara in.

"Is this okay?" Tara asked.

"If it wasn't, I wouldn't have invited you over." Jax laughed.

"Okay, that's true." Tara sighed happily.

Both people were quiet for a while, so Jax decided it was time to start talking. His mind was racing having Tara this close to him.

"So what are you planning on doing tomorrow?" Jax asked her.

"Actually, I'm going shopping. I don't really have a lot of clothes, so I'm going to do that tomorrow."

"That's nice. Donna going with you?"

"No, actually she has to work tomorrow. I'm going by myself."

"What time are you going?" Jax asked her.

Tara wasn't sure by the line of questioning, so she answered that she was going in the morning. Her reasoning behind that was so that she was still going to have a whole day ahead of her if she went in the morning.

"Mind if I join you? I don't have much going on. I can be the veto factor in clothes you shouldn't buy." Jax joked with her.

Tara didn't want to sound mean, but she was really excited about going on her own. She thought about telling him no, but then she remembered that she wouldn't able to see as much of him as she is now.

"Yeah, that's fine. But remember, I'm a woman and I can be at the mall for many hours at a time." Tara was trying to get Jax out of it, thinking it'd be horrible for him to be at the mall for that long. Jax however didn't take the bait she'd put out for him.

"Any time with you is great for me, babe" Jax said kissing her head.

Tara leaned her head back so she could look at him. It surprised Jax because he hadn't backed away yet, so when she leaned her head back, she came in direct contact with Jax's face.

Jax didn't back away, and neither did Tara. Jax instead closed the distance between the two and captured her lips for the second time tonight.

Jax tried to keep the pace slow, but when Tara pushed herself into him, he couldn't help himself. His hand came up to her hip and pulled her impossibly closer. Tara ran her hand down his chest and put her hand under his shirt. Tara slowly traced her hands across his abs, while not breaking the kiss. Jax however did break the kiss, only to bring his lips to her neck.

Tara let out a small groan and it only spurred Jax on more. He moved his hand from her hip and moved it under her shirt and skimmed his fingertips against her stomach. Tara wiggled a little bit because of how ticklish she was. Jax laughed and it was enough to break him from his Tara trance.

Jax backed away from her and withdrew his hand from her shirt. He groaned and turned over to lay on his back.

"What's wrong? What did I do?" Tara asked Jax, extremely confused.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." Jax replied.

"Then why did you stop?" Tara asked him. Her voice was thick with rejection very prominent.

Jax turned back towards her and cupped her face in his hands. She wouldn't look at him, being too ashamed of herself and feeling stupid for putting herself out there like she had.

"Tara, please look at me." Jax begged.

Tara looked up at Jax, and he was surprised to find unshed tears in her eyes. He hadn't realized the effect him turning her down would have on him. Even though he thought his reasons were beyond rational, he felt bad for it non the less.

"Tara, I really want this to work. I don't want you to think that all I want to do is get in your pants." Jax explained.

Tara got out of his grasp and flung the covers off of her.

"Where are you going?" Jax asked her.

"Outside to smoke. It's clear that I'm not wanted in here." Tara said. She put on her robe and slammed her door behind her.

Jax laid on the bed, extremely confused as to why Tara reacted the way she did. He thought that she would be happy to take things slow. All he wanted to do for her was make her realize that he was all in. She knew of his exploits when they were younger, and he wanted to show her that he wasn't going to treat her the same way as he had in the past. He wasn't going to change his mind about her either. Jax heard the back door slam shut, and not even ten seconds later, there was a knock on the bedroom door.

"Yeah?" Jax answered roughly.

The door opened, and Donna poked her head in. "Hey, you wanna talk?"

-AHW-

Tara had sat herself down on a lawn chair that someone had brought and forgotten to take home. She lit her cigarette and threw the lighter down in the grass.

She wasn't sure why she had reacted that way, but it didn't change that she was feeling incredibly terrible about herself. She knew that Jax probably had a good reason for changing his mind, but she hated him in this moment.

She took a deep breath, no she didn't hate him. She hated herself. All she wanted to do was forget about the Kyle thing, Adam, and...

Before she could finish her though, her back door opened and Chibs emerged.

"Hey doc. Heard the door slam. What's up love?" He asked her, sitting down next to her, lighting a cigarette also.

"I don't fucking know, Chibs." Tara said butting out her cigarette and immediately lighting another.

"Well, something is going on. Otherwise, why would you be out here chain smoking and throwing shit?" Chibs asked her gently.

"Jesus, can't someone have a bad day with out being interrogated about it?" Tara spat at him.

"You know what, I've never been good with emotions, so I think I'm going to take my leave now. Hope you feel better doc." Chibs said as he threw his cigarette and got up from his chair.

When his hand was on the door handle, he heard Tara's broken voice from behind him.

"Jax doesn't want me."

Chibs whipped his head around and stared disbelievingly at Tara.

"What makes you say that?" He asked.

"Well, that's easy. Things were getting hot and heavy in the bedroom and he turned me down. He changed his mind after we started. I mean, it's not like we got far, but he still rejected me. What am I even doing, Chibs?"

Chibs walked over to Tara and put his hands on her shoulder.

"You're falling in love, sweetheart. And it's scary. I don't know all of the past you and Jax have shared, but I know that boy is crazy about you now. I also know there are many factors that are going into this relationship. There are crazy ex's on both sides, plus a very sick baby. There is too much going on, and you and Jax need to find a stable place in this world of chaos."

Tara was surprised by Chibs' words. Chibs squeezed Tara's shoulders and silently walked back into the house. Tara sat there stunned.

Why can't things be easy for Tara. He psyche is so fucked up that she can't even see the best thing that she has in front of her. The guys in her life had messed her up so bad emotionally that she didn't feel like she was worthy of anything. She'd been to hundred of hours of therapy, but she still felt like she unworthy of good things in life.

Tara sat outside for another twenty minutes before she went inside and went to her bedroom. Jax was sitting on the bed, fully dressed with his shoes on.

"Are you leaving?" Tara asked.

"Only if you need me to. If it's too hard for you with me being here, then I'll go stay at the clubhouse." Jax explained.

"No, please don't go. I won't freak out on you again. I understand if you don't want me like that, at least not right now. Actually, I don't understand, but I'm willing to work through things and try to understand." Tara said, sitting next to him on the bed.

"It's not that I don't want you. God, Tara I want you so bad. I've only ever wanted one things more than I want to have you."

"What's that one thing?" Tara asked, feeling like a glutton for punishment. What if the only other thing he wanted was another woman?

"Abel home safe." Jax told her.

Tara softened immediately. Somethings came into perspective in that moment. She had never doubted Jax before, why would she doubt him now.

"I understand, Jax. I'm tired. How about we lay down."

"Donna came in and talked to me while you were outside. She's kind of pissed at the both of us right now. Pissed at me for leading things on and then stopping, and pissed at you for being a 'drama queen'." Jax explained.

"Eh, every woman is a drama queen. But, I don't want to talk about that right now. I don't want to talk at all. I just want to lay in your arms and fall asleep." Tara said, crawling up next to Jax.

"Well now that we can do sweetheart."

-AHW-

The next morning, everyone decided that they were going to go to the diner and have breakfast together before everyone started their days.

Tara sat in between Jax and Chibs on one side of the table, while Donna sat between Kozik and Opie on the other wide. Tara looked at Donna and started laughing.

"What's so funny, love?" Chibs asked her.

"Well, honestly. All of this. Donna and I sandwiched between two big men. It looks like we're prized possessions and you guys are our bodyguards." Tara snorted.

"If that's what it looks like, then that's what it is." Opie said.

Everyone laughed and continued on with their breakfast. Once they were finished, Donna went to volunteer. Kozik, Chibs, and Opie went to TM and Jax and Tara went to the mall. They rode separately because Tara knew she'd have bags, and Jax wanted to take his bike. Jax had contacted Gemma, and she was going to sit with Abel for a while. Jax felt torn between Abel and Tara. He figured when Tara was done shopping, she'd go home and Jax would go to the hospital with Abel.

Tara went into one of her favorite department stores. She knew that she'd get most of her items here, so she wouldn't have to spend too much time shopping.

Jax walked silently along Tara and gave her input when he felt like, or she asked. Tara dressed pretty modestly and kept herself covered a lot. Jax's goal for today was to get her to buy one outfit that showed a little more of her body off. Even if it were just for him. They walked by the dressed and Jax zoned in on a sexy black leather dress.

"Hey Tara, wanna try this on?" Jax asked her.

"Not on your life dear." Tara said. She actually loved the dress, but definitely wasn't comfortable wearing anything like that.

Jax didn't try to convince her right now, but knew he'd wear her down sometime in the future.

They continued on in their shopping, and Tara tried on many of her outfits for Jax. Jax was glad they'd decided to take it slow because had they not, he'd totally have taken her into the dressing room and had her screaming his name. Jax shook his head back and forth to try to clear his dirty thoughts of Tara before she came back out of the dressing room.

Jax had his mind firmly under control when she came back out wearing her original clothes and a huge stack of items that she was going to buy. She'd already picked out her work shoes, and a few other pairs of shoes, so after she tried on her clothes, she was ready to go.

When they were checking out, Tara got out her wallet. Jax laid his hand on her arm.

"Why don't you let me treat you and pay for it?" He asked.

"No thank you." Tara politely declined.

"But Tara-"

"No!" Tara said with finality.

-AHW-

Donna had returned home from her shortened work day. There was a lot of volunteers there, so they actually had to turn some away. Donna took the advantage to go home and be able to get things done before picking Ellie up and before Opie came home.

She began cleaning and was quickly interrupted by a sharp knock on her door.

"Yeah, hang on." Donna called out, walking towards the door.

She opened it up and saw a very irritated looking Gemma standing on the other side, hand on her hip, cigarette hanging from her mouth.

"What's up Gem?" Donna asked.

"Jax here?" She asked quickly.

"No, him and Tara are out for the morning. Aren't you sitting with Abel for a while?" Donna asked.

"Yeah, I have one of the guys sitting up there. I needed to talk to Jax. I'm going to murder him." Gemma stated, quite heated.

"Uh oh, what happened?" Donna asked.

"Well, I got a visit from April Hobart this morning. She was pissed. I promised her that nothing was going to happen to Kyle was his was in Charming." Gemma said.

"Well technically, nothing happened in Charming." Donna defended.

"Alright sweetheart, time to get talking. What happened?" Gemma asked.

Donna followed Gemma out to the patio furniture. Donna wasn't sure what she needed to tell Gemma, so she waited until Gemma asked questions.

"What happened the night of the benefit?"

"Well, it was revealed that Kyle still had his reaper tattoo on his back. So they guys waited until they were out of city limits and went to the closest tattoo shop they could find. They covered the tattoo." Donna said, staying vague on the details.

"Okay, but how did they know he even had the tattoo?"

Donna was so torn. She knew Gemma and Tara were on the road to a good relationship. But she also didn't want to break her trust. Donna came to a decision and realized she'd deal with the consequences of her actions later.

"You remember why Jax was a mess after Tara left?" Donna asked Gemma.

Gemma was confused by the question, but knew that something had gone on between Tara and Jax and that it was part of her reason to run.

"Yeah, Jax said something about taking advantage of her. He was a drunken mess, so I'm not sure what he meant, and he didn't elaborate any more than that."

"Okay, I'm going to tell you some things, and you have to just listen. Because if you go all Queen B on me, I'll not finish this discussion." Donna said.

Gemma was kind of struck by Donna's dominant attitude about the topic. Gemma nodded her head and lit another cigarette.

"Okay, Jax did overhear Tara tell me that she was tired of being taken advantage of. She also stated that she wished that the situation had never happened." Donna started.

"So why-" Gemma started, but Donna put her hand up and silenced her.

"Tara wasn't talking about Jax." Donna told her.

"Then who was she talking about?" Gemma asked.

"I am not at liberty to tell you. Just know that she had a very seriously abusive relationship before she got with Jax. That was the relationship she was referring to regretting and that's why she left."

"Okay, but what does this have to do with Kyle getting his tattoo covered?" Gemma asked.

"You'll figure it out. Just know that no one is to blame in this situation. Jax was hurt, but you have to remember, that Tara was in a really bad place. I know you two have a good relationship starting, but let it progress without judgement. When you get it figured out, you have to just be there to support them both. Yes, they are working through things, but there still things that are raw and vulnerable within the both of them." Donna said, and left Gemma sitting in the chair and walked inside.

Gemma sat on the chair for another twenty minutes before things started to click into place.

"Jesus Christ." Gemma exclaimed as she walked to her car.

-AHW-

Back at the mall, Jax had let Tara pay for her own items without any more questions. He helped her carry her bags when she needed someone, and he walked her to her car. He gave her a kiss on her head and started walking towards his bike. To his disappointment, Tara didn't call for him, or try to get him to stay. Jax turned quickly, anger flaring within him, and confronted her.

"What they hell was that back there?" Jax asked.

"Just leave it alone Jax, it's nothing." Tara defended.

"It's not _nothing_ Tara. It's clearly something. All I wanted to do was do something nice for you, and you flipped out."

"I did not flip out, I just told you no. I don't need you paying for stuff for me. I've learned to be independent and I will never depend on a man, especially not you, to take care of me in any way. Not in the least financially. That's where I draw my lines Jax." Tara said.

"What the fuck do you mean, especially me? I don't even know what the fuck that's supposed to mean." Jax said.

"Drop it Jax." Tara begged him. "Just, please drop it."

"No! Why won't you let me do things for you? I'm not asking you to become dependent, but why cant I even do this for you? Why are you fighting it?" Jax asked.

Something broke inside Tara and she raised her voice loud enough for people around her to be able to hear the conversation.

"Because you're not going to be around forever Jax. And then what? I've let myself become dependent on you and then you're gone! Then what am I going to do?"

Now Jax was more confused then ever. This didn't seem to have anything to do with her becoming dependent on her. This seemed like she thought him leaving was inevitable.

"I'm not going to leave you Tara. Where is this coming from?" Jax asked.

"You're going to leave someday, Jax. It's part of your lifestyle."

"No, it's not. I'm not going to leave you." He begged her to believe him. All he wanted her to do was believe him.

"No! You can't say that. How about if you go to prison like Opie did, huh? How about that?" Tara asked, pushing her finger into his chest.

"That's not going to happen. I'm careful. The whole club is careful." Jax defended his club.

"Jax, you forget, I've been around the club life for a long time. I know there are times when people go to jail. It happens and you don't expect it."

"Tara, I won't go to prison. I have Abel, I have you, I don't need anything else. I'm going to clean my act up and things will be different."

Tara began to walk away from Jax. Maybe she couldn't do this. Maybe she should just be his friend and maintain those boundaries. It was going to be too hard when things fell apart. She was already too attached to him, and it would only get worse the longer they worked on things. Jax grabbed Tara's wrist in an attempt to stop her from walking away. Tara reacted almost instinctively and yanked her arm out of his grasp and slapped him.

"What the hell!" Jax yelled.

"Tara, calm down, I'm not going to leave. What is so hard to believe about that? What could be so bad that you won't let things progress?"

"What if you die?!" Tara yelled at him.

**A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger. I want people's opinions because I have two chapter 14's mapped out. Depending on how people felt about this chapter I'm going to post one or the other. Let me know how you felt about Donna telling Gemma, and the fight between Jax and Tara. LET ME KNOW! :)**


	14. Trivial Worries

**_A/N So...people didn't really seem to enjoy that last chapter. It was disappointing at first, and then I remembered that everyone has their own tastes. Just because I was in love with the story, doesn't mean that everyone else will be. I hope this chapter is a little better. Thanks again for everyone who reads and reviews, you guys are fucking rock stars!_**

_"What if you die?!" Tara yelled at him._

At that, Jax had nothing to say. She was right, it was part of his lifestyle. People died all the time, be it intentional or not. The only question Jax had, is why this was all of the sudden coming up now. Things had barely progressed, and here Tara was afraid of him dying.

He wanted to soothe her fears. He wanted to tell her that everything was going to be okay, but that just wasn't a promise that he could make. So instead, Jax did what he knows best, he left. He hugged Tara and got on his bike and left.

Tara stood there stunned. She wasn't sure what she thought was going to happen, but him leaving her standing there with her worry on her sleeve surely wasn't one of them. She was stunned, but she shouldn't have been. She had cornered him out of nowhere. She had thrown this giant bomb on him and he didn't even know it was coming. But this is a good example of the things that Tara thinks about a lot. All the scenarios in which her life can go wrong. She thinks about them, she obsesses over them, and she makes some of them bigger than they are. She wasn't sure in this situation it would be categorized as, but she knew it wasn't something that she should have thrown at him in a very public place.

Tara got in her car and drove home, keeping the tears at bay for as long as she could. She drove by the gas station down the road from her house, and saw a motor cycle there. That was her breaking point. She cried heavy, heartbroken, pitiful tears the rest of the way home. They didn't subside as soon as she got there because once she crawled into her bed, it smelled exactly like Jax. Tara cried harder for her lost love, and waited for sleep to consume her.

-AHW-

Jax went straight to his house and saw Opie's bike, as well as a construction crew vehicle parked in the driveway. Jax had completely forgotten that they were starting renovations back up today.

Jax walked in and immediately noticed the changes in the house. The living room carpet had been pulled up and new had been laid down. The furniture that wasn't new had been reupholstered already, and they were painting in the kitchen. Jax couldn't believe what he was seeing. In the last week, he had almost forgotten that he owned his own house. He had spent so much time at Tara's or at the hospital that his house wasn't even on his radar.

"Hey brotha, where's Tara at?" Opie asked him.

"Probably at home. I don't know. I left her standing in the mall parking lot crying." Jax admitted to his best friend.

"What the fuck? You did what? Why would you do that Jax? And why would you readily admit that when I told you if you did anything to hurt her, I'd kick your ass?" Opie asked, clearly heated by the exchange they were having. He was disappointed in Jax for just leaving. Whatever happened he was sure that it could be worked out.

"She is determined that I'm going to leave her eventually." Jax said.

"Why would she think that?" Opie asked.

"Well because she said it's part of the lifestyle that I live. She said that I could end up in prison if I don't leave her. I was so confused Op. And then she asked me to drop it, but I wouldn't. I just wouldn't drop it Opie. I grabbed her wrist to stop her from walking away, and she turned around and slapped me. I told her I'd never leave her. I asked what could be so horrible that I'd leave her." Jax stopped and looked up at Opie with the most hurt expression Opie had ever seen.

"yeah, and then what?" Opie asked.

"She asked the worst question she could have asked me. What if I die?" Jax finished and hung his head.

Opie sat in silence and waited for Jax to collect his thoughts.

"That's always a possibility, Op. No matter how careful we are, there are always tragedies that can not be avoided. We have a lot of enemies and I don't want Tara to get caught up in my shit. She's already been caught up in club shit before, I will not put her through that."

Opie shook his head. "Isn't that some pretty deep shit you guys are getting into already."

"Isn't it better this way? Keep her at arms length now instead of later? What if there is no later, Opie? What if we get close, things are amazing, and then I'm ripped away from her. Or she's ripped away from me. I -" Jax didn't get to finish his sentence before someone else intervened.

"You're going to let that stop you from being happy?"

Jax looked up at his mother in surprise.

"What are you doing here, Ma?" Jax asked her.

"Well, I'm here looking for you. Now that I'm here, I'm a little disappointed in you. You're seriously going to let something as trivial as this get in the way of your and Tara's relationship?" She asked.

"Trivial?! Death is not trivial, Ma."

"No. What's trivial is you thinking about it. You're thinking of every excuse NOT to work at this. Don't run from this Jackson, please. I am your mother and all I want to do is see you happy. Tara makes you happy. You have to fight for it. You have to make it a priority." Gemma stated vehemently.

Jax didn't know what he wanted to do, but he knew he needed to talk to Tara.

"I know that face, and I'm coming with you." Gemma stated.

Jax went to fight her on her decision to come, but there was something in her eyes that made him change his mind. Something he hadn't seen in his mothers eyes in a long time. Hurt and fear. Jax didn't know where the emotions came from, but he knew he'd find out sooner if she came with him.

-AHW-

Tara was laying in bed, sleep being elusive to her, even though that's all she wanted to do. It was the middle of the day, but all she wanted to do was sleep. She knew she had a long day ahead of her tomorrow, but that didn't stop her from wanting to sleep the rest of the day away today.

She heard a knock at her front door. She thought about getting up to see who it was, but she didn't. She didn't care.

The knocking continued, and Tara continued to ignore it.

Why had she done that. It was ridiculous. She knew she didn't need to worry about those kinds of things. Yes, they might happen, but why worry about them. By worrying, she runs the risk of not having a relationship with Jax.

She noticed after a few minutes that the knocking had stopped. She however hadn't noticed that someone had come into her house. A minute later, there was a knock on her bedroom door.

_Shit, _Tara thought. Did she not lock her door? Then it hit her. It had to be Jax. She had given him a key to the house when she signed the papers and got her own keys.

The door opened slightly and Jax stuck his head in.

"Hey, can we talk?" Jax asked her tentatively.

Tara rolled over in her bed and faced away from Jax.

"Tara, please, don't be like this." Jax begged her.

Tara couldn't explain it. She wasn't upset with him. She was upset with herself. She didn't want him to know how stupid she felt, and how guilty she felt that she had made a scene. She hated herself because she couldn't just let go of her past and be happy. That's all Jax wanted to do is let go of the past and make new memories together, and she couldn't give him that.

She felt the bed dip beside her.

Jax laid behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Tara, please, get up. Let's talk this through. Don't just hide yourself from me." Jax told her.

Tara turned over, and as soon as her eyes met Jax's, her bedroom slammed against the wall.

Tara shot up, looking at the doorway to see who else was here. Her stomach fell to her feet when she saw Gemma standing there.

"Alright, get up. You're not a hormonal teenager anymore. Get up and get into the living room. It's time we all had a talk." Gemma didn't wait for a response before she went into the living room and sat on the couch.

Back in the bedroom, Tara and Jax were still laying in the bed.

"What is your mom doing here?" Tara asked him.

"I don't know. She overheard me talking to Opie about this afternoon, and she kind of got on my ass about some things. I'm assuming she wants to talk to both of us about it." Jax replied getting up. He held his hand out to Tara. She looked at him for a second before taking his hand and letting him lead her to Gemma.

-AHW-

"Okay, I know you and Jax need to have your talk, and that's none of my business. What I want to talk to you guys about is the past." Gemma stated. She was never one to beat around the bush, and she wasn't going to do it now.

"What do you mean?" Jax asked her.

"I got a visit from April Hobart today." Gemma said, and she noticed that Tara flinched.

"She said that some shit went down with Kyle and the club after the fundraiser. Now, the only reason I'm asking is because I told her no harm would come to Kyle was he was in Charming. I went looking for you at Donna's, but you weren't there. Her and I talked a little bit. I want to know what is going on, Jax. There's no secrets in this club, and I have a feeling I am being left out of a really big one." Gemma stopped talking and looked over to Tara.

"How do you even-" Tara cut herself off. Donna. The one person she trusted, had thrown her to the wolves. With wolf technically. Tara's face must have shown her betrayal and anger, because Gemma piped up quickly.

"Hey, I know that face. Don't go blaming shit on Donna. Donna gave me a little information, and I was able to figure the rest out on my own." Gemma defended Donna.

"I asked Donna about the Kyle situation from the night of the benefit. Donna was a smart ass and said nothing happened in Charming. Then Donna told me some information about things not being what they seem. She knew I held some animosity towards you because of you leaving. She had to remind me that both people were hurt and neither one of you was in a good state at the time." Gemma said.

Tara was still livid. But she kind of understood. Yes, she broke a part of Tara's trust, but Donna didn't do things without reason. There had to be some reason that this was brought into light.

"So what is it you want to know?" Tara asked her.

She felt Jax stiffen next to her. She knew he hated hearing about it the first time, and the second time would be worse. This time, there'd be no surprise, only anger.

"Did Kyle hit you?" Gemma asked.

Tara snorted. Gemma arched an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah, I'd say he did. He beat the living shit out of me." Tara said.

"How bad? Jax, why did you do nothing to stop this?!" Gemma asked him, quite heated.

"You seriously think I'm going to sit by and let someone abuse a woman, let alone the one I - someone I care about." Jax stopped himself. He almost professed his love for Tara right here, in a heated argument with his mom.

Tara's quiet voice broke the silent stand off Jax and Gemma were having.

"He didn't know. I was too ashamed to say anything. Kyle threatened my life if I hung out with Opie or Jax. I knew there would be no winning in the situation. If I told Jax, I might be safe, but Jax would do something stupid. If I didn't say anything and complied with him, he didn't hit as much or as hard." Tara admitted.

Jax couldn't believe it. She basically just told him she didn't admit anything because she was trying to protect Jax. She was trying to protect herself by leaving, but she protected Jax by not saying anything.

Before Jax could say anything, Gemma spoke up.

"Honey, I'm going to tell you something. Everything you do is going to be scrutinized by the club. Someone is going to disagree with you and you need to learn to let it go. You need to learn to lean on the club. I have faith that things are going to work out between you and Jackson, but they won't if you are holding yourself back. And this right here." She said, pointing between the two of them. "Is you holding back. You two are already letting things get in the way of your foundation. You guys will never be able to work things out if you're going to be nitpicking every little detail of your lives. You know what? There's a possibility that Jax could die." Gemma stated. At this, Tara popped her head up to see Gemma's face.

"But you know what else? You could die too. You could get into a car accident tomorrow and be gone. Are you two really going to let the worries of life get in the way of things. If you are, then you two aren't the people I thought you were." With that, Gemma grabbed her purse and made her exit.

"Well, that went smoothly." Tara mumbled to herself.

Jax let out a small laugh beside her.

"It could have been worse. She could have not come at all, then that means that she doesn't care. Her coming here shows that she cares and doesn't want us to let our insecurities and petty things get in the way." Jax explained.

Tara took a deep breath.

"I don't know that I can do this right now Jax. I'm so tired, I don't even know what I think anymore." Tara said.

Jax turned towards Tara and put his hands on either side of her face.

"Tara, we have to do this eventually. I want things to work. I want things between us to be amazing. How are things going to be amazing if you're going to run from them all the time. It's the same thing that I need to work on, but here I am trying, and you're pushing me away." Tara sat quietly. Jax let his hands fall from Tara's face and he stood up.

He walked towards the front door. Before he opened it, he turned to look at Tara.

"If you're not going to be all in, then this isn't going to work. I'll let you think about it. I'll be up with the boy and I'll stay at the clubhouse tonight." Jax said, and then left.

Tara sat there stunned. Had she really given him the impression that she didn't want to work on things with him? Then it clicked. Of course she had. She was too scared and was letting her negative emotions control her. She went through many different scenarios in her head. How would it look like if she were to stay in Charming now, and her and Jax were never together. Would she be able to do that? The feeling in her heart and in her stomach made her realize instantly that no, she could never live this close to Jax and not be with him after this whirlwind week.

Her other option, leaving. The feelings that settled in her stomach were five thousand times worse than her thoughts of being near him but not with him. She loved him. It was simple. She could think of how simple it is, but when she starts things more about things, she gets things completely twisted in her mind.

She loved him, it was that simple. She would make it that simple. She wanted this, wanted this more than anything she may have ever wanted. And she was going to get what she wanted.

-AHW-

Jax had made it up to the hospital, and was sitting in Abel's room. Abel was still in the "cage" crib. He didn't like that he didn't have contact with his kid. Jax sat in the silence and thought about Tara.

He had hoped Tara hadn't seen it as an ultimatum. Yes, that's basically what it is, but it was more along the lines of Jax being honest. That's how this relationship would work, honesty. He wasn't going to sugar coat it for her, and have her change her mind down the road. He needed to know that she was going to be all in from the start.

The door opened and Jax looked up, heart beating, hoping that it was Tara. His hopes were shattered, when he saw it was just a nurse.

"Hey dear, I just came to check on Abel." The older lady said, giving Jax a small smile.

Jax sat silently as the nurse checked him over.

"He's looking good." She said, and walked out the door.

Jax laid his head on the back of the chair, and continued his thoughts of Tara. At some point, he must have fallen asleep because he didn't hear the door open for the second time.

Tara walked into the hospital room and stood beside the open door. There Jax was, sleeping in the chair with his hand still perched on Abel's crib. Tara smiled at the sight of it.

She slowly walked over to Jax and put her hand over his that was resting on Abel's crib. This motion caused Jax to wake up. He first looked at his hand, then looked up and saw Tara.

Jax stood up so he could be eye level with her. He looked at her, hope shining in his eyes.

Tara took a deep breath and took a step closer to Jax.

"I'm all in."


	15. I'm in

**A/N: YAY! People had a good reaction to the last chapter. We got one SMALL problem out of the way (Kind of) and we're moving on to bigger, better things! Thanks for the reviews guys!**

After Tara's declaration for Jax, they stood in the hospital room as Jax just held her. Both parties knew there was so much more to say, but both were content in staying just as they were. Eventually, Jax guided Tara down into the chair, and he stood behind the chair with his hands on her shoulders.

"Don't stay at the clubhouse tonight." Tara spoke, breaking the quiet.

"You have to work early tomorrow." Jax mentioned.

"I have to work early every morning I work Jax. It's not going to be that big of a deal. Please, just come stay the night."

Jax bent down and kissed Tara's head, silently agreeing to her request.

The two sat in Abel's room until visiting hours were over. Tara said goodbye to the nurses and told them she'd see them in the morning.

-AHW-

This was only the second night Tara would be staying in her home. She feels a lot better knowing that Jax is going to be there with her again. As Jax was in the shower, Tara sat on the bed and thought about the events of the last week. She was overloaded with emotion. She just really wanted to talk to someone. If she didn't talk to someone about things, than she would inevitably blow up for no reason again. She'd just decided that she needed to call Donna and set up a girl day, when Jax came into the bedroom.

Tara smiled shyly as he came in wearing just a pair of sleep pants. Tara laid down and Jax laid down behind her. He threw his arm around her waist and kissed her cheek.

"So since your starting work on a Wednesday, does that mean you don't get to keep your Monday through Thursday schedule?" Jax asked Tara.

"Actually for this week, I do. Margaret wasn't sure of me even starting right away anyway. I convinced her that I would be fine and she allowed me to come back on Wednesday. I won't start the on call rotation until the end of the month, so that won't be an issue."

Tara could feel Jax's body relax.

"That'll be nice. We can hang out this weekend." Jax told her.

"Yeah, definitely. Maybe have Kozik and Chibs over sometime. I'm hoping to get together with Donna this weekend sometime so we can talk about things."

"I'm sure that can all be arranged for this weekend."

Tara and Jax fell into silence and Tara quickly fell asleep.

-AHW-

Tara's alarm went off too quickly for her liking. She felt as though she had just fell asleep when her alarm was blaring at 4:45am. Tara rolled over to kiss Jax before getting up to shower. Tara was disappointed when she noticed that Jax was no longer on the other side of her bed. A wave a disappointment flooded through her before she could stop it. Tara got up and went into the kitchen to start her coffee pot, and stopped in her tracks at what she saw.

Jax was sitting at the table with food set out for himself and Tara complete with a coffee and a bottle of water. Tara realized how much she had jumped to conclusions. She knew she didn't have time for a mental breakdown this morning, so she walked over to where Jax was sitting reading the paper. She kissed him on the head and went to her seat.

"You didn't have to do this Jax." Tara said, tucking in to her food.

Jax set the paper down and smiled at Tara. "I didn't really do anything. I couldn't sleep so I went for a ride on the bike. I left ya a note on the counter in case I wasn't back before you got up. I figured I'd get breakfast since I knew you had an early morning. Save you some time." Jax explained.

Tara stood up and went over to Jax and he pulled her into his lap. Tara cuddled into Jax chest. They sat like this for a few minutes, before Tara realized how hungry she was. Her stomach made a rather disgusting sound, and Jax and Tara both laughed as she got up and went to her side of the table.

They ate the rest of their breakfast in silence and Tara excused herself to go take a shower. She knew she had given herself too much time, but she wanted to get in early and not be behind the second she walked in the door. She showered slowly, letting the hot water cascade over her body, loosening all of her tense muscles.

After her shower she got out, wrapped herself in a towel, and walked to her bedroom. Jax was back to laying in the bed. He turned his eyes to the door when he heard it open. A wicked smile spread across his face as he saw the state that Tara was in.

"I know that face Jackson. I have to go to work in like fifteen minutes, so that's not going to happen." Tara told him, as she got in the drawers for her clothes.

"Hey, I only need ten minutes tops." Jax replied.

Tara turned to him with a mock sad face plastered on.

"That's really sad, Jax. Had I known that much has changed in the last five years, I might have rethought my decision to go all in." Tara turned her back to Jax, attempting to walk out the door. As soon as her hand hit the handle, she was wrenched backward and thrown onto the bed. Her heart was hammering in her chest, but not out of fear. It was out of excitement and lust that had her heart beating so rapidly.

In the process of being thrown on the bed, Tara hadn't noticed her towel had become undone from around her. She looked up into Jax's eyes, but noticed that he was staring down at her, and not into her eyes. Before she had the chance to look down, she felt Jax's hand on her bare stomach. Instead of cowering away like she expected, she reveled in the way his hand felt against her skin. They were starkly different. She could feel every rough patch on his hands, the callouses from riding his bike all the time. It felt amazing against her soft smooth skin.

Jax's hand traveled up to the swell of her breast and Tara couldn't conceal the moan that escaped from her lips. Jax's head snapped up to hers and they looked in each other's eyes.

Jax slowly bent down and placed a kiss on Tara's lips. Jax hadn't expected Tara's reaction. As soon as their lips met, a heat ripped it's way through Tara's body and she wrapped her legs around Jax and pulled him close to her. Jax paused for a fraction of a second, and then met Tara's pace. They stayed locked in that embrace for five minutes before Jax realized that it couldn't happen.

Jax pulled back from Tara, and Tara took that opportunity to kiss his neck and his chest. Jax let out a small moan before he reluctantly got himself up and off the bed.

"Jax." Tara groaned.

"Hey babe, I'm all for this happening. I'm ready for it, but you can't be late to work." Jax said, adjusting himself.

Tara groaned before getting out of bed and getting dressed. Jax also decided to get dressed himself.

"Aren't you going back to bed?" Tara asked him.

"Nah, I'm nice and wide awake now. I'm going to get some more stuff unpacked here. I can unpack some of your stuff to if you want." Jax offered.

"Thanks babe, that'd be nice. Whatever you want to do, I'll do the rest this weekend when I'm off."

With one more chaste kiss, Tara was off to work.

Jax went outside and sat on the patio furniture and lit a cigarette.

Jax's mind wandered back to the last couple of days. He really wasn't sure if things were going to settle between him and Tara. But he had been honest with himself and he wasn't going to go into a situation where both parties weren't all in. That happened in the situation with Wendy, though that had been him that couldn't go all in with her. She was a weird distraction for him that went too far. He had deluded himself into thinking that he loved her and could marry her. He should have known from the beginning that it wouldn't work out, but he didn't want to be alone. He wanted to be with one woman, but he wasn't with the woman he had envisioned when he thought about monogamy.

He had fucked things up, but he couldn't regret them. He had gotten his little miracle out of it. He wasn't sure when Abel was born how things were going to work out, but now he knew that he wouldn't change it for the world. He had a reason to change things, a reason to become a better person. He also wanted to be a better man for Tara. She deserved it. She's always deserved amazing things, and she'd been dealt pretty shitty hands in life.

As Jax was contemplating things, he heard a motorcycle pull up out front. Jax got up from the chair and walked around the front, only to see Chibs getting off his bike and heading to the front door.

"Hey brotha, what's up?" Jax asked Chibs.

"Not much. Just ran into Tara at the hospital and she said you were awake and going to be unpacking. Figured I could talk to ya while you did that. I don't have anything else to do and Gemma has all but told me I'm going to be useless in the shop today because there isn't much going on." Chibs told him.

"Why were you at the hospital? Everything okay?" Jax asked him.

Chibs started laughing. "Oh yeah Jackie Boy, things are great. Just had to take Sack out and get him some stitches on his face."

"Jesus, what'd the kid do now." Jax asked.

"Well, he may or may not have made some sexual comments about your Ma." Chibs replied, still chuckling.

"Oh shit." Jax said, knowing Sack got those stitches by a fist to the face. "Let me guess, Clay?"

"Naw, even better. Gemma. She went to playfully back hand him, and Tig shoved him from behind. That big ass ring your mom wears sliced open about a two inch gash on the left side of his cheek up into his eyebrow. Gemma felt so bad, but Tiggy just laughed his ass off. Since he's my prospect, I got to dive him to the hospital."

"Everyone in this family is a fucking mess." Jax replied, butting out his cigarette and walking inside.

Back inside, Jax and Chibs worked in relative silence for about an hour. They went out and took one more smoke break before tackling the boxes that were in the spare bedroom. Jax took a box labeled clothes and Chibs took an unlabeled box. Jax went into the bedroom, and Chibs went into the kitchen. He set the box on the kitchen table and opened it. It looked like it just had some books and trinkets in it.

Chibs took the books out and began to place them on the bookshelf that was in the living room. He went back to the box and pulled out a black leather bound book. Chibs wasn't sure what to do with it, so he went to place it in the living room with the rest of the books, Tara could move it wherever she wanted to later. As he was placing the book on the shelf, something fell out of the pages.

Chibs bent over and picked up what had fallen out, which turned out to be a picture. He flipped it over and once he saw what was on the picture, it fell from his fingers back to the floor.

Jax had finished packing away the clothes and went out into the living room to see if Chibs wanted to take a ride for a bit. Jax found Chibs in the living room standing completely still with a horrified look on his face.

"Hey man, you alright." Jax asked him.

"No, brotha, I'm not." Chibs went and picked up the picture and showed it to Jax.

Jax looked down at the picture and let out a rush of air. There staring back at him was a picture of Tara, face completely covered in bruises and a small cut above her eye. The date on it was June, 6 months before she left town. Jax started thinking back to that time. Tara claimed that she had to go out of town for her work, she was gone for two weeks.

"Where'd you get this?" Jax asked Chibs.

Chibs wordlessly handed him the leather bound book. Jax took it over to the dining room table and opened it.

He was stunned by what he saw. There were multiple pictures of Tara in various stages of bruises. On the pages themselves Tara had chronicled exactly what happened, and if she had to go see a doctor.

Jax didn't read into detail, and once he realized what it was, he closed it. He didn't want to read on and think about all the times that he couldn't do anything to keep Tara from harm.

"Is that what I think it is?" Chibs asked Jax.

"Yeah. Tara logged and took pictures of times that Kyle abused her. She's smart in that sense. If she were to ever go to the cops, then she would have the proof that she had been abused. She wouldn't necessarily have the proof that it was Kyle, but it's something."

Jax knew he should be angrier than he was, but he wasn't. He wasn't because he knew that the abuse had happened in the past. He was also proud of Tara for taking that step to protect herself, at least a little bit. But most of all, he wasn't angry because he knew he was going to kill Kyle himself. And now, having seen some of the abuse in those pictures, Jax knew that Kyle was going to be dead by this time next week. There was no other option for him, and there was going to be no one to save him from the mayhem Jax was going to put on him. He would put Kyle through exactly what Tara had been though, and then for good measure, he was going to put a bullet in his head.

Jax must have been wearing his emotions on his sleeve, because before he could even say anything to Chibs, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm in."

**DUN DUN DUN. So I know there wasn't a lot of Tara in this chapter, but I wanted a Jax chapter!**

**Okay so some heart to hearts coming up, some mayhem, and some smut. YAAS :)**

**Review and let me know what you guys thought!**


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